Idiot Proof!

I have never liked baby gates. It's not that I do not believe in their purpose, it is simply that I can never figure them out. It sounds silly, I know. But, I am usually fiddling for a few minutes at the top of the stair case trying to open the gate that I eventually step over.
However, it seems the time has come. Ryder is now crawling and though when we are watching him it does not seem that he is moving all that quickly, when we turn our backs he seems to really start cruising. That's when he can get across the room in no time. Chase is doing the army crawl, and though he is much more trustworthy when left alone in a room, it is only a matter of time before they are racing to the same toy, which Ryder will likely end up stealing.
So for the safety of my children, my house will soon be idiot proofed. Chase, Ryder and myself will be trapped on the different levels of our home. Our relief will either be my stepping over the gate, or a rescue from Todd. I can see it now, Chase on my left hip, Ryder on right, phone in mouth and over we step. It sounds scary. Perhaps, when the baby-proofer comes to install he will give me a brief lesson that will actually sink in. It is not that no one has ever shown me how to use these gates, it is just not something my brain can comprehend. I can tell you, with certainty, the phone numbers of the homes my best friends from grade school grew up in, but I can not learn to open a baby gate.