The Tovsky Tribe

Chocolates, Cocktails, Friends, Babies...A Girl Should Never Have Just ONE!!

Sunday, December 24, 2006

About the Wishlist

If you are reading this, you are perhaps, reviewing our wishlist. Thank you!! Let me be clear, we do not expect gifts from anyone at anytime. We are always plenty thrilled with the love, laughs and fun you give our boys. However, from time to time, people ask us what to give them, so we thought it may be wise to keep a running list of items we find interesting. The list will continue to change as we come across news ways for our boys to learn, and I will do my best to remove things we either have or no longer need. This is just a guide, gifts from the heart are always special to us!
And, of course, the best gift you could ever give us or them, is just loving Chase and Ryder and spending time with them. We want them to know all of you and that will always be enough for us.

Thursday, December 21, 2006


A few nights ago I watched a ridiculous game show. You may have seen it. It was called Identity, hosted by Penn Jillette. The concept is to size up 12 people just by looking at them. You are given 12 identities which you must match to the strangers before you, based on appearance only. When it first came on, I was interested in finding out if that was really all the game was about. Once I found out it was, I had to keep watching, but I am not sure why. Some of the Identities, just so you understand, were BORN IN TOKYO, WORTH OVER 100 MILLION, ARMY RANGER, RUSSIAN IMMIGRANT. Surprisingly, the contestants that I saw did pretty well, getting many, if not all, correct.
This got me thinking. If I went on the show what would be my identity? Most likely I would be "NEW MOTHER TO TWINS." I think the contestant would correctly seal my identity, based on the extra weight around the middle that I may NEVER lose, the casual, sporty clothes, probably stained from spit up, the hair in the pony tail...are these not part of the classic new mom look? Perhaps, they are just a part of my look.
I do think, however, that I am not alone in saying that once I became a mom, that became my identity, first and foremost. We may all do, and be, other things, but we are all Mom's first! Are our identities now just tiny pieces of the self we once were, and the remainder a compilation of our kids?
I know I had a life prior to July 7, 2006. I know I had a life before December 5, 2005. I can say with total confidence that it was a good life, that I was happy, and that I had a great time. Yet, oddly, it feels as though I can't remember a time when I was not a mommy. I can't remember my life without my baby boys.
It's not that all the hobbies or passions I had pre-parenthood no longer exist. Its just that they seem to fall way down the priority list. Your children become first, your marriage is second, your children are third and fourth, then there is the daily responsibilities of keeping house, and suddenly you are so far down the list you lose count.
I have been trying to read a book for weeks. It's a pretty good book and I was once an avid reader. But, in the few minutes of spare time that I have these days I prefer to watch tv. I admit it!! In this age of dvr, I can watch my favorite programs at times convenient for me.
I know I loved to eat out often, enjoy a cocktail, socialize with friends. I am pretty sure I did this quite often pre-parenthood, and as a result was able to maintain ties with friends from way back when. Now, I still love to eat out, and still love the cocktails, but I go out far less often making it more difficult to keep those distant ties strong.
I recently got in touch with an old friend. When asked what was going on with my life, it was simple "I am married and have 5 1/2 month old twin boys." Wife, Mother, that is the identity that suits me. I am ok with this. I am really proud of my sons and am lucky to have them as part of my identity. And, I know, that when I do get moments to myself, time to do whatever it is I love to do, I will do it with gusto. I will have a great time, I will enjoy the moment, I will laugh and enjoy my friends, and all along I will continue to be a mommy.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Family Update

I recently sent an email to my family updating them of Chase, Ryder, Todd and myself. I thought it would be wise to post it to this site.

The Tovsky's welcome baby Naffy. It seems Andrew is getting his wish as of late with all of these boys.

Everything is going great here. Chase and Ryder are developing at normal rate for 5 month olds. It seems their premature status is no more!! They have recently gone up a size in diapers and in onesies. I suppose this is good news, but I am noticing as diaper sizes increase, the number of diapers in a case decreases and prices stay the same!!
They have been enjoying three meals a day of different flavored mush and both seem to have taken to eating with a spoon pretty well. They maintain a perfect mess daily.
They have smiles that light up the room (at least mine) and laughs that make you laugh. They both seem to fancy the ladies and have become quite the little flirts. They do sleep through the night most of the time, and only on occasion do they wake up to a wet crib! Ryder has made a sport out of rolling over and may not need to crawl, ever since he seems to be able to get across the room this way. Chase is capable of rolling over, but only does so when he feels like it. They are learning to smile when they see the camera, which is not surprising since I take a zillion pictures a day. I am told they are starting to look more alike every day.
As for Chase and Ryder's parents, we too are doing well. Our home is currently a haven of dust as we are digging up the tile in our foyer, only to replace it with new tile. Todd is working hard and recently celebrated, ever so quietly, 5 years of Associated Staffing. I am enjoying motherhood, marveled at how much laundry two babies can produce, how often diapers need to be changed and food needs to be given, and how difficult minor errands have become.
Nothing else to report from the Tovsky home....we hope we can all get together soon...hanukkah party, perhaps?

Sunday, December 10, 2006

A Singer I am!

For as long as I can remember, the musically talented people closest to me have told me, incessently, that I can't sing. Actually, they have told me I am the planet's worst singer, that I am hurting their ears, that I am scarily tone deaf. I never took this offensively, frankly, I knew they were right. In the genetic make-up of musical talent I was given absolutely none. But, boy do I love it. I am convinced I was singer in another life---Janis Joplin, per say---and I used up all the talent my soul was allowed. I still love to sing, and Todd is often offended when I ruin the calm of a car ride by busting out lyrics. I did, eventually, start to get a complex which prevented me from singing in public. This held true for even Happy Birthday.
Then one day, I became a mommy. When you are raising an infant, no matter how many, life is in melody. You say hi, good morning, i love you, all to a tune. You sing as you change the dirtiest of diapers and you sing as you play with your new life's love. Nursery Rhymes are one way to go, but I prefer to make up my own songs. I have authored a number including: "Eskimo Kisses," "Monkey's" and "Good Morning" and have put my own style on a number of well known songs. I love to sing to my boys all day long, and for the first time in my life, there are two people in this world that actually enjoy my singing. It brings smiles to their faces and they coo in delight. I do not need a larger audience, I do not need a crowd, I may never be Janis Joplin again. And, none of that matters- I am thrilled to be a singer for my boys, and they are all the audience I need.

Too bad Todd has to witness it all too often!

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Newborn's No More!!

It is amazing how time, which once went by really fast, seems to go faster after you have children. Every day brings a whole new world to them. They change so much and learn new things and it is no wonder how it is often said, in what seems like an instant children become adults.
When Chase and Ryder were born, they were just over 4 pounds and only 17 inches long. they spent a week and a half in the NICU hooked up to monitors. They were the tiniest things we had ever seen! We brought them home and they swam in their clothes. Even preemie onesies were too big. We had to fold over the smallest size diaper to make them fit and we held them in the palm of our hand, their whole bodies fitting within the lenghth of our forearms. We carried them both and they were still so light. Today, Chase and Ryder are 5 months old. That is still very young, they are still babies, infants even. But last night it was made clear to me how quickly time has passed from the preemies they once were. Last night I held a two week old baby boy. His name is Luca David Bahuriak. He was born at 6 and 1/2 pounds, 20 inches. Two weeks later he is at least 7 pounds, if not more. He is almost twice the size Chase and Ryder were, and yet when I saw him, he seemed to be the smallest thing ever. All light and tiny and curled up into a cute ball. I was stunned at how quickly newborns become babies. I was stunned at how small Luca is and amazed that our boys were even tinier.
Now they weigh close to 14 pounds, they are over 2 feet long. They are growing out of the diaper size and their 3-6 month onesies are growing small. They laugh, smile, and roll-over. They are, however, my babies and still seem so small and fragile to me.
Let it be a lesson to relish the time. Each and every moment, each and every day. We find ourselves wishing it away, ever so innocently. "I can't wait until they smile, laugh, roll-over, crawl." You learn, often too late, they will do all of these things before you know it, and when they do they are no longer the small, light, curled up newborn. Preemies they once were, but they certainly are no longer!!

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Inherited Appetite!

I love food. Todd loves food. We are what you call foodies. We love to cook it, to eat it, to taste the different flavors. We love ethnic foods, and plain foods. Restaurant critiquing is our hobby. Every meal, the neighborhood joint to the five star meal, is given a report card grading everything from atmosphere and service to the food and drink. We find this fun, and we do consider ourselves to have good taste.
This leads us to believe that our offspring would have the same appetites we do. Is that not genetic? From deep within both the gene pools of the Tovsky's and the Citrenbaum's swims the gene for an insatiable palate of good eats. Then of course, both sides do have a family bird or two. Those who call lettuce and asparagus dinner, or who has a list of three things worth eating; chocolate, steak, and noodles- plain. Perhaps this desire for taste bud delight is a learned behavior? Can this be one of many tests of nurture vs. nature.
Both the desire to allow our kids to taste the wonders we taste, and to teach them healthy eating, we were very anxious to start them on food. At 4 months, 4 days and we began with the typical rice cereal. I understand the reasoning for beginning with this awful mush, but is it any wonder why they are so resistant at first? Day one went ok. Todd fed Chase who used the same strength he demonstrates during belly time to keep his jaw locked. I fed Ryder, who went after it rather impressively. Was this the same kid who was a bit lazier in attempting the other milestones? Messy, indeed, but both boys finished their cereal. Over the next few weeks the boys had a role reversal in that once Chase started to figure it out Ryder stopped having an interest. But, currently 5 weeks into the game of solid foods they now eat it twice a day (breakfast and dinner.) It will not be long before we introduce lunch, as well. They have eaten rice, oatmeal, and barley cereal. They have had sweet peas, sweet potatoes and green beans along with peaches, pears, applesauce and bananas. Although they have not seemed to put up too much of a fight with any of it, they both seem to love bananas. Chase opens his mouth between bites, which usually melts mommy's heart. Ryder needs a lesson in patience as when I am offering the spoon to Chase he whines a bit. That moment is just one of the many, many times I have wished I was ambidexterous. All in all, it is going well. We are on our way to introducing our sons to the wonderful world of flavors and tastes. If the baby foods aren't enough, we hope the smell of the meals we cook will tempt their palate's a bit. We can't wait to offer them table food, but the real question is, how old do they need to be before they can have sushi?

Monday, December 4, 2006


Ok, so I have given in. A number of people had told me to start blogging as a way to journal this journey of raising twins. It seemed to me to be something I would never have time for, similar to taking a shower or doing laundry. However, in a desperate desire to note the important moments, if nothing else, to post those zillions of pictures, I have decided to start this blog. The hell with the baby book I have not yet begun, maybe this is the way to go.