The Tovsky Tribe

Chocolates, Cocktails, Friends, Babies...A Girl Should Never Have Just ONE!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Welcome Baby 4!

I've never been a big planner.  I usually find, in my life, that the best laid plans fail to complete.  Flying by the seat of pants usually worked for me, at least in my younger years.  

But, when you're pregnant with your 4th kid as you approach your 40th birthday and you've had two previous c-sections, doctors insist on planning.  So, we did. And I had a c-section scheduled for Thursday, March 5th.  And, because for the first time, we knew we were having a boy, we planned the bris for 8 days later. 
With this plan set, I also planned my three off days between work and baby 4's arrival.  So many plans. 

I had a feeling it wouldn't pan out. My oversized gut told me so. And, yesterday, March 3rd, two days earlier than planned, we welcomed our very special little boy. 

He is smaller (much) than I expected and has gone nameless longer than expected.  But, though unexpected has been the theme thus far, he is hardly unwelcomed. Baby four is the absolute best surprise in my life.

Things happened rather quickly after we did a lot of waiting and a drop in heart rate and the cord being wrapped around his neck gave us quite the scare, but once they held up our beautiful son for us to see everything in our life had gotten better.  

Baby 4 is only 6 pounds 3 ounces and is 20 inches long.  He has a lean body type and a very small head.  He was born at 1:43pm on 3/3 and in the minutes that followed his birth I fell absolutely in love with yet another Tovsky boy!  

At first glance he reminded both Todd and I of a newborn Ryder.  But, his full head of black hair and lanky body are more reminiscent of Chase.  He resembles both of his biggest brothers, looking like Ryder head on but Chase from the profile.  He has long skinny fingers that look like match sticks and toes that are almost as long as his fingers. His nose is so tiny we wonder if he can breathe and the little bit his eyes have been open gleam a deep blue that will likely become brown months from now.  His cry, seldomly heard, is a squeaky little whimper, and his ears are small and flat against his head.  His lips form a perfect pink heart and his lashes and brows have yet to come in.  I think I've noticed a dimple or two while he's been sucking and his face is that of an angel. 

He's absolutely perfect in so many ways and I am honored and proud to call him my son. 

Baby 4, welcome to the world, to our world, to our special, little (big) family.  We are privileged to have you as the completing piece and I look forward to every day that is to come.  

You could not be more loved or adored!!!

New Blog Title (Again), Hopefully, New (MORE) Banter, as well.

Although I haven't posted much, ok AT ALL, over the last way too long, this blog remains an important part of me and of my family.  6 years ago, when I was still an avid contributor, I debated for quite some time over the new name of this blog once our third child was born.  What began as The Tovsky Twins would no longer be an appropriate title and I had set out to find a new title.  As indicated in this post, after far too much debate, I settled on The Tovsky Trifecta.  This name was perfect and was used in reference to my children, separate from the blog.   A better half of a decade has passed since then, and the blog, getting far less visits than it had, was in need of content but not a name change.  Until now.

As we anticipate out 4th child, whose number of days before arrival can be counted on one hand, I am left knowing Trifecta, in any of its definitions, is no longer appropriate for our family.  And, so, here I am again.  Renaming.

I find this humorous, mostly because I still don't have a name for my yet to be born son.  But, since his name needs to be mutually agreed upon by my almost as difficult in this category husband, I've moved on to naming this blog, where I get sole naming rights!

In horse racing the fourth win after a Trifecta is a Superfecta.  I do claim my boys are animals so this would not be a completely out of line name, yet somehow it just doesn't seem right.

Although I do know many people with 4 children, and even some with 5 or more, and we are hardly unique, I would say for all of us 4+ out there that it is the start of a BIG FAMILY.  This thought has been confirmed to me many times by the looks of concern and the "are you crazy?" responses that we have received from those with smaller families in the spreading of our news.

So, as we are about to be moved into the big family category I feel we have earned a title of Tribe. So, yes, that is the new name of this blog, The Tovsky Tribe.

May this re-branding be the start of some more frequent updates and may Baby 4 be the spark I need to start writing again.

We can't wait to meet you, Baby 4.  I am thrilled that you make us a tribe.

I don't know, yet!

I don't know what you will look like yet, I know your face will be the most beautiful I have ever seen.  

I don't know what color your eyes will be yet, I know they will show me visions of your soul. 

I don't know what your smile will be like, crooked or dimpled, yet I know it will be infectious and cause me to smile every time. 

I have yet to hear your laugh but I am sure it will make me giggle and,though, I haven't gotten to know your personality I know it will make me melt in place. 

I know all of this without knowing a thing because you, four, are my boy. My "son"shine of my life. And no matter who you become or  what you look like or sound like, to me, it will be absolute perfection and beauty. 

I can't wait to meet you. 

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Friday, February 6, 2015


I decided to welcome my 4th kid and my 40's with a shiny new mini-van.   Who knew I was so cliche?  As warned, it took all of one ride for me to fall in love with the ease of the push button doors and the extra space.

Although I am still baffled as to how I got of ( soon-to-be) 4 children, stressors set on extra high, responsibilities that someone with my level of irresponsibility shouldn't have, and staring at seems that I have (almost) safely arrived.  I wonder if, yesterday, at age 18, while wondering free-spiritedly, down a path to nowhere, I took a wrong turn that had me skip a decade?  Perhaps that's how it happened?  Regardless, I am here and have the crows feet, muffin top, and mini-van to prove it.
The American mid-life crisis dream!

Anyway, I got the mini-van, drive it the short distance home and took it for its maiden voyage the very next day. With the three boys in tow, comfortably seated in the spacious seats, we headed down 95 South.  Everyone was excited to be cruising in style when a little VW booted me from the rear. 52 miles on the car and a jolt that, quite literally, knocked my change out of its cup.

I had seen it coming in the rear view mirror.  As the traffic was thickening on 95 and the sea of cars ahead had been flashing its break lights, I had done the same, easing up on my speed but not coming to a stop.  The gentleman behind me who was, likely, reading or responding to a text, did not choose to slow down at all and, instead, used my brand new vehicle as his method of halting.

The jolt was powerful, the sound was loud, but all of us were ok and the boys were not too scared.  I, however, was pissed.  I was 33 weeks pregnant, in a brand new car, and had all 3 of my sons in the car.  I dropped a few expletives, which the boys found amusing, before greeting my rear-ender with some conjured up kindness.

In the end, all is fine.  A car is just  a car, even when brand new.  We are all ok, and the guy was apologetic particularly after noticing my protruding belly.

It's only been two weeks, I have my car, ahem, MY MINI VAN back, the damage is fixed, and I am totally in love with it.  Once we get the infant seat in we can say we are ready for Baby 4.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

A Letter to my Son on his 6th Birthday

Dear Turner,


I just spent the last few minutes cuddling with you instead of getting dressed for work.  Now, I'm jotting this instead of putting on my make-up.  But, it's ok. Because today is your last day of being 5. It's your last day of being in that baby 5-under set as you move to the older 6-8 group, where your brothers currently reside for a few months more.  This is sad and exhilarating, emotional and memorable, as every child's milestones usually are.  The oxymorons of parenting.

Rise and shine my 6 year old!
(Continued on 1/6/15)

My baby is 6.  And, aside from your incessant "I'm the baby of the family whine,", you are so far from a baby that you may as well be 10. You have two lost teeth, have two loose ones, and are too heavy for me to carry, particularly pregnant.  You are taller than most of your peers and creeping up on Chase, and at last measurement in July you were 44 inches tall and 47.4 pounds.   I anticipate your growth to be over an inch since then.

To choose one word to describe you, Turner, I would say you are an absolute delight.  Really. You are a pleasure to have around and to be around.  You are well received and well-liked everywhere you go and you always have a smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye that infectiously spreads.

Although you still possess a bit of the shy tendency, you have mostly outgrown it, and prove to be a charismatic, funny, and extremely kind and thoughtful boy.   Many days I am amazed at your empathy and consideration and wonder if I set nearly a good enough example for your kind ways.

It often feels like your infancy was skipped over, as if you came out of the womb as 2 1/2 year old eager to catch up to your brothers.  And, as a 6 year old kindergartner, you are not so far behind them. You show signs of being the most responsible, are a rule follower, and somehow, despite your upbringing of chaotic harmony, you like order.  Schedules work for you.  And, you know where everything is.  You play well by yourself, are extremely independent, and yet, can play with others showing confidence and leadership and never being anything less than kind.  Except to your brothers, who you have, on occasion, tried to strong arm with a punch to the chest, or a pinch to the arm, or a kick to the nuts.  They have shown great restraint with minimum response, but careful my boy, I can't promise that forever.

This year you learned to ride a two wheeler, learned to roller skate, to ice skate, and are beginning to learn to read.  You've grown up in a ways that should surprise me, but don't, only because of the type of kid you are.  You've made friends without my help, started two new schools all on your own, and developed a self-awareness that is enviable.

You've proven to be competent in most activities you try and usually the only thing holding you back is your confidence. I am not sure why you have such self-doubt but, Turner, you are a very capable boy.  Keep it up.  Always.

You've tried sports.  You played soccer.  You weren't terrible but you never grasped the concept of competing against another team.  Perhaps, when you're older, you won't mind taking the ball away from someone in another jersey.  You play hockey with your brothers, but when they play a game you mostly choose to be Ref.  You can throw a football well and have dabbled a bit in baseball, but at this point, sports does not seem to bring you the most joy.

Music does.  You love to sing and to dance and to act and to pose.  And, earlier this year, you took Young Rembrandt's where you  proved you also have a knack for drawing.You like to get dressed up on occasion and wear your clothes well.  In fact, on your 6th birthday you chose to wear your full suit to school.  The suit from Alex's bat mitzvah.  I didn't fight you, despite the fact that it was snowing, as I was thrilled you got a second wearing out of it.  And, you looked rather adorable in it, if I must say so.

We celebrated your 6th birthday at home.   The traditional hibachi dinner was put aside because we just went last week and, instead, it was your choice of  homemade mac and cheese (unfortunately, you prefer the boxed crap,) pickles, and out for ice cream.  At Go Bananas we sang happy birthday to you, complete with cha-cha-cha's.

You are silly and funny and smart beyond your years.  You are thoughtful and creative and kind and mature.  You are beyond excited to be a big brother and I know, without a doubt, you will take the job seriously and do a fantastic job teaching little 4 the ropes.  I can depend on you for a snuggle, a hug, a kiss, and an I love you just as much as I can depend on you for a laugh. I can depend on you to report the facts and I can depend on you to make sure all the rules are followed.

You may seem to be growing up too quickly but, I tell you all of the time, no matter what, no matter how old you are, no matter that another baby is on the way, you, Turner, will always be my happy baby boy.

Happy 6th  birthday, Bugs!   I love you so!

Happy Birthday Frozen Yogurt

Blowing out the candles
Happy 6 year old

In the traditional birthday shirt.  Not so large anymore!