The Tovsky Tribe

Chocolates, Cocktails, Friends, Babies...A Girl Should Never Have Just ONE!!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Happy New Year!  I am not sure how it is possibly ten years into this new milennium, ten years since the y2k scare, ten years since we all went crazy partying like it was 1999, ten years since the year I turned 25, making me almost....well, you do the math. Nope, not sure how it happened, but that was the number flashing at the bottom of the big ball in Times Square as it touched ground (despite Dick Clark's counting blunder) so it must be true!

We welcomed 2010 in the calm of Margate surrounded by good friends!  We ate, drank, laughed, celebrated, and our kids had fun being together.  Todd and I tried to be gourmet and were only partially successful and Brett and Randi brought over some great desserts that i ate for too many days afterwards.

I have a tendency to get philosophical.  It is a sort of mind game that gets my dormant cerebellum exercising.  I am not claiming to be Aristotle but get a few libations in me and there is a chance I will come up with a thought or question that may begin a discussion amongst the crowd.

On New Years Eve the question of the night was "How long must you be friends with a new friend in order for them to be an old friend?"  This question was triggered by the number of facebook statuses that indicated some derivative of "new year, old friends!"

Amongst us was a range of answers, some quantitative (five years!), others clever (5 years or 40,000 comfort miles, whichever comes first!)

We celebrated with Stacey and Jimmy, Madison and Nicky and Brett and Randi, Sawyer and Livi.  We had a blast.  Todd has known Stacey for over 20 years.  I have known her for at least 15.  She is definitely an old friend.  Brett and Randi we have known for three years.  Despite the fact that I went to college with both of them, we did not really know each other until we met through our children.  We have become good friends with them.  And, as we enjoyed our night (and our game of "sharts") the answer to the question became so clear.  Friendships come in all shapes and sizes.  No two are the same, and yet all are special.  I may cherish a friendship simply for the history or for the more recent memories that will, one day, be history.  Like age, the term "old friend" is just a state of  mind, not an actual number.  It is a descriptive word, a clarifier, a synonym for "comfort" or "close" or "best" or so many others.

Friendships, old friends, new friends, are what you make of them and each and every one is special.
2009 was a wonderful year which began with the welcoming of our baby boy.  I said goodbye to it with a smile to the wonderful year behind me and to the wonderful year ahead.  I wish, even 26 days later, all of my family and friends, both the old and the new, a wonderful and happy new year!





Jimmy and Nicky



 A toast!

Brett and Todd

 Ryder, me and Ilivia

three fourths of my boys!!

School Pictures 2009!


Here are the boys school pictures.  They look pretty good, if I must say so myself.  Both are smiling and happy, both are well dressed and free of paint or food stains.  Ryder's hair, too freshly cut which was my own fault, resembles a bit of a dutch boy, but  I suppose it is better than Chase's faux afro of last year.  I am amazed at how much more mature they look from last year and am grateful for these photos for chronicling such things even if not every one is a framer!!  The class picture is cute, capturing all of these three year olds in one shot.  Just for the record, since I am sure I never wrote it on the picture itself the children are, from Left to Right: Micah Mercado, Ryder, Oren Fuchs, Eli Segal, Chase, Ryan Gregory.  Second Row: Olivia Catalina, Maddox Kraft, Chloe Connors, Ellie Betesh, Rianna Dion, and Andrew Zazoff.  Teachers: Miss Beth and Miss Robin

Also for the record, I should point out that in addition to Ellie, the boys have a "thing" for Olivia, particularly Chase, and yes, I do believe it is mutual (isn't she cute???!!!), Andrew and Eli are who they say they play with the most often, and Maddox and the boys have had several play dates.

Years from now, when the boys are remembering their pre-school days, they will look at these pictures, remember their friends.  Who knows, perhaps they will still be friends with many of them.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Snap! Whistle! Wink!

Lately, Chase and Ryder have been interested in learning to snap.  To whistle.  To wink.   I remember when they were 8 months old and loved buzzing.  I would be forced by lashes and dimples to vibrate my lips in a "buuzzzzz" and they would laugh then attempt to mimic me.

Now, it is whistling, and snapping, and winking.  For such things I must send them to Todd, or to Pop-Pop, because these are not my areas of expertise.

I try to teach them to snap but either I am not a very good demonstrative teacher, or it's actually pretty difficult to do.  Either way, I am snapping middle finger to thumb and the boys are just rubbing fingers.
Then there is the whistling.  I "o" my lips and breathe out in some out of key tune, and occasionally a sound that is almost like a whistle will bounce off my lips.  Usually though, it is just forced air.
But, the real challenge comes when they ask me to wink.  Here's a little fun fact just below "I was born in a police car!"   I CAN'T WINK!  I never could. I try.  I try with my left eye and try with my right eye and both have me resembling someone amidst a Tourette's spasm. Sure, this inability makes it difficult to teach my sons to wink but, believe it or not, lacking the winking gene has caused me some extra challenges growing up.
For one, there was a time when I wanted to be an eye doctor, like my daddy.  To be an eye doctor, amongst other things, you have to take a lot of science classes.  Science classes involve microscopes.  Viewing objects in a microscope requires shutting one eye, winking, which I can't do.  Trust me, I have tried.  I was the only student in all of biology202 that had to cover my eye with my hand.  Every time.  Perhaps, that is the reason I did not get an A!  Also, I love taking pictures.  I have taken photography courses.  But, remember the old cameras?  Well, You need to close one eye to see through the view finder.  I needed to cover an eye.  Or, hold the camera a certain way so that the camera pressed up against my face so much that the eye I should have been closing was, instead, being compressed by a Nikon.  Luckily, technology has taken over and now allows me to use both eyes and a screen.
And then there is the drunken game of cops and robbers.  For the serious beer gamer I was quite the embarresment.  Squinting, blinking, ticing, not so discreetly hoping no one would notice and force me to chug my beer.  I hated that, particularly because, I can't chug beers either.  I can't chug anything fpr that matter.  Seriously, I choke on water.  It's sort of humorous if it weren't so odd.  Perhaps the gene for winking and chugging are one and the same.  Perhaps its also that same gene that stores the skill  for organization.  We may never know.
So, yes, as it turns out I am nothing more than a silly mess with my boys as they ask me over and over how to snap, whistle, or wink!!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010



This may look very much like halloween, but it is not.  Ryder is Spiderman, in case you did not know.  He really believes he is the superhero.  He is in the costume all of the time when we are home.  Here, in these pictures, the webbed one wanted a superhero friend and demanded that I dress Turner like Superman.  Then, they were off, to fight crime and save the world!!!

A Letter to my Son on his First Birthday!


Dear Turner,

Today you took a sip of milk out of a straw for the first time.  Today you stood on your own two feet, without help, for three seconds.  Today you ate a bowl of whipped cream with your hands, messily and happily, then a piece of cake in the same fashion.  Today I was reminded, delightfully, of where I was a year ago.  Today you turned one!!

Everything from the past 365 days seemed to pass me by so quickly.  You were born a 7 pound newborn who surprised us by being our third son and you've grown into a near 22 pound one year old.  You grew pleasantly and happily and hardly fussed at all along the way.  And, often, we were caught up in the throes of daily chaos and it would seem as if we were unable to notice the changes, the advances, the milestones.  But, we did!  We always do.  Turner, you are this wonderful baby boy.  You smile always, you laugh often, you cry little.  You have a calm demeanor, a contagious laugh, and a bright smile.  You are our completion and our days are better since you were born.

We celebrated your birthday as an almost normal Wednesday.  You woke up to hugs, kisses, smiles, and shouts of "happy birthday" from all of us.  You may not have any idea what those words mean but you sure do love hearing them!  As soon as we say the words, or sing the song, you smile and laugh forcing us to, of course, say it over and over and over.  We took your brothers to school then went off to run an errand before heading to the little gym where you enjoyed your final "bugs" class.  Next week we will begin "birds." After, you and I had a little lunch date before we ran another errand. 
At home, we had a whipped cream party with Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop and you loved the mess and the taste of the cream.  Mom-Mom Jill and Aunt Carri came over for dinner and cake.  It was really a great day!


(A few days later....)

We celebrated your first birthday with a really fun party at the Juice Zone.  Miss Marilyn, from Kids Music Round, came to entertain you and your 20 friends.  Everyone really had a blast, the older kids were dancing and singing the whole time, and you were just enjoying and taking it all in.   At the party you stood, all by yourself, for nearly fifteen seconds!!!!  You definitely enjoyed destroying/eating your drum cake. (Click here to see party pictures!)

The invitation

You are a good eater and seem to like everything we give you.  Though you did love your bottle we have officially taken it away and you are now taking milk from a cup.  You don't love having to work a bit harder to get your thirst quenched but you are getting the hang of it as you practice more and more.
You have slept through the night since you are five weeks old and continue to be a good sleeper.  When the schedule allows you take two long naps a day but remain wonderfully pleasant when I force you to skip or shorten your nap. You are very much the little trooper.

You continue to be a pleasure.  You love to be around your brothers and will follow them into every room, though it seems the bathroom is your favorite. You love balloons, books, and dumping buckets of toys- trio's, lego's, and the cars, seem to really bring you joy to dump.  You are often standing up at your toys, holding on, and like to walk with assistance.  I suspect one day you will get up and walk across the room without practice or notice.

At your one year appointment you weighed in at 21 pounds 14 ounce and measured 31 3/4 in length.  This put you near the 50th percentile for weight and 95th for height. It makes us laugh to think you could be tall.  Perhaps you are just tall for now!   When Chase was a year old he weighed 20 pounds 2 ounces and was 30 inches long.  Ryder was 19 pounds 5 ounces and was 29 3/4 inches long so you are definitely larger than they were.

You are an active boy who cruises around the furniture, climbs up and down the steps, and loves your time at the little gym.  You love to shake your shoulders when you hear music.  You are attentive and watch our lips when we talk and point at every object you see.  You have not yet started speaking words but you do babble often.

You don't love strangers and will cry if I hand you over to someone you do not know.  And, lately, you have been really clingy to me!  You love to be held, you give great hugs, and I love hugging you right back.

Your hair is getting curlier and thicker and longer but is still not ready to be cut.  It's a light brown, still and your eyes are still, and I suppose, will remain a grayish blue.  You have big eyes, deep eyes, with long lashes.  You have one dimple and a wonderful smile.  You are solid in your build and have a thick chest.  And, you are absolutely adorable!!!
The first year of a baby's life is one to marvel at.  So much happens so quickly and everyday there is something new to learn.  I have loved watching you learn, helping you learn and can't believe that your first birthday has come and gone.  But I am eager to experience this next year (and every year there after, of course) with you as you explore toddlerhood.   

Turner, I love you.  I love you beyond words, beyond measure.  I love watching you become the boy you will be.  Your brothers love you and always ask when you will be able to play with them and we all look forward to that day.  You are a happy boy, and you've made us so very happy, too!!

Happy Birthday Turner Luke!