The Tovsky Tribe

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Sunday, July 8, 2018

A Letter to my Sons on their 12th Birthday.


Dear Chase and Ryder,




TWELVE!  I count up by one each year but the math never makes any sense.  A dozen years ago you both made me a mom. A dozen years ago seems like a lifetime ago and a blink of an eye all at once.  A dozen years and one day ago I had no idea how deep love could run.  Nor how a dimpled smile could light up a room or a deep belly laugh could echo for hours.  I didn't know a cuddly hug could melt my stress to nothing nor that a deep gaze into hazy, almond shaped eyes would touch my soul.  A dozen years and a day ago there was so much I didn't know.  You two and your brothers have been my teacher, my muse.

I look at you both in awe most days. Chase, though you look older, of course, your face is almost exactly the same as it was when you were a baby.  You have gotten taller, even if the marks on the door jam indicate otherwise, and you just have a more mature look to you that doesn't allow me to deny this growing up thing.  Not even for a bit.  Ryder, unlike Chase, your look has changed since you were a baby, though you are still handsome as ever (:)-)  Everyday you are taller and bigger, though you like to measure yourself against me, you're not there yet. Soon enough I will look up to you. And, I do love your faces, but they are hard to see because they are so often buried in your phones or shadowed by the glare of the Fortnite on the television.  Fortnite is a video game that merges Hunger Games and Minecraft into a cartoonish Battle Royale and causes addiction, true addiction, in each player as they strive to be the final victor.  This game has painfully taken over our home, most of America, and the greater part of the world.  True story.


Baby Faces (2 years10/2008)
12-year-old faces
This past year you completed 6th grade.  The school year began with Chase having a great class (overloaded with friends) and a great teacher in Mr. McElrath.  Ryder was less fortunate with the new Ms. McMaster as the teacher.  You had friends in the class and a had a good school year in spite of her not being anywhere near the top of your favorite teacher list.  Chase, you were hoping to have an amazing and fun last year of elementary school and you had set your own goal of being recommended for the all honors track in Middle School.  Both were accomplished quite easily, your grades were great and your RI score remained far about grade level.  Ryder, you set out to enjoy your final year of elementary school and learn to overcome some of your focus issues.  Both were also accomplished and the year was a big success.  You were both involved with many school activities.  You performed in both the winter and spring chorus (which you didn't love, and the overall 6th-grade performance in the winter concert sure did leave something to be desired.)  You were, as you put it, forced (by me) to be in the school play.  It was an enjoyable play, Jukebox Time Machine, and though it was similar to last year's A Kids Life (one of your many complaints) it really was great to watch.  You each had a small role, inclusive a fun dance, and Ryder got to play an extra part portraying a Beatle.  Although you both claimed daily to "hate it,"  (especially Chase) you sure did seem like you were having a great time on show night.  You were also both on student council again, Chase on the Spirit Committee and Ryder on the Art Committee, and you were both, once again, chosen to be a conflict mediator.  All year, you were socially active and involved and enjoyed every minute of your last year of elementary school.  You both ended your elementary school days by performing in the talent show.  Ryder you played bass in a band and performed an awesome rendition of "Iron Man."  Chase, you and Bobby Snyder did a hilarious "baby" dance to a medley of songs.  It had the whole school laughing.  You also participated in all of the end of year activities including the district-wide 6th-grade track meet.  Although RES didn't make out as the big winners of the day, you both loved being in the events and have a new found interest in track and field.  You also enjoyed the end of year dance, the 6th-grade swim party, the trip to Lincoln Financial Field, and graduation which allowed you to move-up to HMS and earned Ryder the award of "most likely to have a Superhero named for you."
Chorus Concert
Ryder as a Beatle in a Juke Box Time Machine
Chase doing the funky dance
Conflict Mediator
Chase doing the 100-meter sprint at the track meet
Ryder hitting the hurdles at the track meet

6th-grade swim party


Chase's talent show act


Ryder's talent show act


Socially you had an exciting year, stepping out a bit more and with a social calendar that I had to track at times.  You engaged via text with many friends, some old some new, and learned a few lessons in the way relationships work and the meaning of friendship.  Your best friends are still Ethan, Connor, and each other.  Of course, Chase includes Quinn on that list and Ryder, you have Aidan and Jake. You both keep your friends close and are a good friend to all of them.  You are navigating through a complex social world and are doing so with them by your side and you are all learning the ropes together.  Additionally, there's a list of other names who are good friends of yours (Luke, Connor L, Jonny, Bobby, Gavin...to name a few) and I hope you continue to maintain these friendships as you move on to middle school.

Chase, Ryder, Turner, and Ethan- the 4some
Ryder, Connor, Chase
Ryder, Jake, and Aidan
Chase, Quinn, Luke
Ryder, Connor L, Connor S, Chase, Ethan
We were busy with sports this year, as always.  Chase, this year you played your first year as a Pee Wee in hockey, playing for the Wildcats A National team. It was a team filled with a lot of good players and, though your team ended the season under .500, and you had to change your jersey number, you did learn to play better hockey and took strides in improving your own game.  You also played for Council Rock South's Middle School team. That team was the easy champion of the league and you were a great contributor to the team's success. Unfortunately, both hockey seasons were stunted due to a set of broken wrists that occurred in late October. This took you out of 6-weeks of the season, plus another few weeks of getting back in shape, which set you back a little when you returned to the ice.  But, you still did great.  You were the second highest point scorer for the middle school team trailing by such a small differential that had you played even one more game you probably would have surpassed him. For the Wildcats you were the 5th highest in points, most of which came from assists, which says a lot considering not only the time you missed but the line you were on had the teams leading scorer (goals and points) and you didn't get as much access to the puck as a result.  Your biggest accomplishment in hockey came after the season, however.  Two broken wrists may have set you back a little early on but when you went to evaluations for the upcoming season you proved that there was no holding you back from succeeding. One of the best players in all 4 evaluations you earned yourself a coveted spot on the AA team.  When it came time to decide if you wanted to play AA or play on A National with a coach you love and your friends you were thoughtful and decisive and chose what was best for your hockey. Although you have to split up from your hockey buddies to join this team, you are excited to be playing with these players who you say are "really, really good hockey players." I am proud of you, you earned this spot with hard work and determination. Additionally, you played soccer for Phoenix Fireballs last year. Well, you were supposed to play.  Unfortunately, the broken wrists prevented you from being a part of most of the Fall season and, though you played in the Spring, the team was a little deflated by then.  You do enjoy soccer and are hoping to get to play in middle school. You also made the decision to NOT play baseball this year.  This was hard on me but you were very happy with your choice.  You are a good, smart baseball player and I, being a baseball lover, would love to see you play again one day but I supported your decision to take a step back as you just said it wasn't that much fun anymore.  You and I both survived baseball season without playing.

Pee Wee A National
Two broken arms, one disappointed boy
CR SOUTH MSB Champs
#71 for one season

Ryder, you played another great season of basketball and lacrosse.  Though your basketball team wasn't much to brag about, you as a player showed great strides in improving, overcoming adversity, and dealing with a weak team and coach.  You practiced often and worked hard at each game and practice.  You really love the game. For lacrosse you also had a great season.  You moved from defense to attack which proved to be a successful move and allowed you to use your muscle and your skill and score a lot of goals with your very hard shot.  Unfortunately, the team wasn't all that great, but the enjoyment of the game was not lost and your skills improved tremendously.


Lax player #10
Up for the shot

We celebrated your birthday with a mix of friends over to swim, both boys and girls for the first time.  Since many of your friends were out of town on your birthday, this time we were able to include the girls without exceeding the pool's maximum capacity.  It was a  lot of fun, what a great group of kids.  After, Ethan, Sean, Quinn, and Gavin Block spent the night.

12th birthday party
Sleepover
You went to your first concerts this year.  The first one was Green Day, which was amazing.  We went with the Levin's and the Morena's and had an absolute blast.  No one loved it as much as you, Ryder, because Green Day is your all-time favorite band and what better first concert then Green Day? We then followed that up with an impromptu attendance at Imagine Dragons with Jenn and Ethan.  We had such a great time and, without expecting to, I enjoyed it so much and danced most of the night.  Although I do like their songs, my favorite part was Tom Petty tribute they played halfway through.
Tailgating at Green Day
#1 Green Day fan
Imagine Dragons- 2nd concert in two months


Other highlights from this year, to name just a few, included a viewing of the total eclipse of the sun, a trip to Niagara Falls (of course for a hockey tournament,) Chase's funniest Halloween costume yet, an Eagles Superbowl LVII win and the experience of their victory parade.  The year went fast with so many fun things happening.

 
Viewing of the Solar Eclipse
Solar Eclipse viewing glasses


Niagara Falls in January- It was beautiful

Chase as Dora (with two broken wrists)
Eagles Superbowl Party
Eagles Victory Parade

Although you look so much taller to us, and older, the scale at Dr. Abir's office has Chase measuring 57 inches and 80.4 lbs.  Breaking 80 is a big deal and it is an inch and a half growth since last year, but all of us think you look even taller than that.  Ryder, you grew 2 inches and now measure 60.5 inches and 124 pounds.  You are showing no signs of slowing down your growth.

You both enjoy playing any pick-up sport, especially basketball, riding bikes, swimming, watching endless youtube, a good movie (preferably a comedy or a thriller), and watching TV.  You both still love Survivor.  Ryder, you seem to know about and watch every show on television.  It is amazing when you say "oh, yeah, I have seen that!"  Neither of you prefers to read, but Ryder has more of a tendency to pick up a book and enjoy it.  Ryder, you also enjoy playing bass guitar, listening to music, and drawing.  You are an amazing artist and I wish you would pursue it more. You like to learn new tricks, enjoy playing video games, and are overly involved with Fortnite.   You are good kids, you are smart, and charming.  Ryder, you continue to be a dynamic and kinetic force of energy, full of passion, and creativity, and sensitivity, and stubbornness.  You are deep and interesting and cool as can be, even with, or maybe because of your fun and quirky side.  Chase, you are focused on what you want and a bit aloof to everything else.  You are quick-witted and funny and like to take it easy. You choose to succeed and are willing to put in the work necessary to meet your goals, and as a result, my dear boy, I expect big things from you.

 I am so proud of you both for your similarities and your differences and would never want you to be any other way.

Chase, as you move on to middle school and get closer to becoming a teenager I would like to see you open your eyes about to outside the Chase bubble.  Take it in and recognize the world that surrounds you a little more and start to see how you can have an impact on those things around you, for better or worse.  And, Ryder, I want to see you be less impulsive, particularly as you will have bigger decisions to make.  I want to see you take a moment to think and then use your very large heart and deep thinking mind to make the right decisions.  I want to see you both take on more responsibility at home, in life.  Continue to be good kids, good friends, good brothers, and good sons.  Continue to be who you are as you grow and mature. You are great kids, becoming great young men and every moment of every day I am proud to be your mom.

Birthday shirt
Birthday shirt








Happy 12th birthday,  I love you so.


Chase's 11th birthday letter

Ryder's 11th birthday letter

Saturday, March 3, 2018

A Letter to my Son on his 3rd Birthday!


Dear Decker-

Happy 3rd Birthday to you, my very special little boy.  You are turning 3 on 3/3, lucky numbers, lucky day.  And, though I hope that is true for you, it is really me who is the lucky one. Because, Decker, you are my son and your kind soul and sunshine filled eyes and funny sense of humor and wise ways are my, are all of ours, lucky gift today and every day.

In the last year, you went from a long, curly-haired toddler to a short, straight-haired big boy with an incredible amount of awareness and know how.  It is almost as if all of the baby in you was stored within those curly locks. Last summer, when they landed on the barber's floor, we had no idea that they would not grow back nor that your babyhood was being swept up with them.

2 year old Decker with curly hair


You are fun, Decker.  Moments, days, can be so easy with you because you make it fun.  Your voice is filled with excitement, and your steps bounce with positive energy.  You understand things you are told, like to follow most rules, are careful in the way you do most things, and are happy to just be with whomever it is you're with.  You can play quietly by yourself building towers or guns (😳) out of Legos, racing cars, or making me your special Mac and Cheese for lunch.  We can play together doing these same things, or working on a floor puzzle, or more recently, playing games like memory match. One of us has a very good memory and can find the match easier than the other- do you know which one?  Before bed you like to play Beyblades and see which blade will spin the longest. You love to play with "my guys," whether it be hide n seek, more gun games (😳) or the push game on the beds. Sometimes you'll sit and watch them play X-BOX.   They'll give you the extra remote and you'll think you're playing along too.  I just love it when you're all together.

Lego Tower

Just the guys hanging out

And, of course, there's Netflix. YouTube.  And, OnDemand.  Each available on the TV, the iPad, and the phone. Each of which you can navigate to and through on any device to find any of your favorite shows. On Netflix you usually opt for a movie: The Secret Life of Pets was the top choice for quite some time until we watched Sing as a family movie and you decided you liked the singing animals. It took some convincing to get you to try something new but when we finally did you spent a few months watching the original Toy Story which had every one of us stopping to watch a few scenes each time it was on.  What a great movie!!!  Your most recent choice is the Emoji Movie- originally watched as a choice for all but rose to the top of your watch list due to the poop emoji.  Nothing could be more amusing to a 3-year-old than a sarcastic poop emoji.  At least not to this particular 3-year-old who finds it absolutely hilarious to use the word doody in just about every sentence. Calling everyone a "doody butt" gets a laughing reaction from your brothers who encourage your behavior in the house.  Somehow you seem to understand that you can't use that language (or build or play with fake guns) outside of the house or at school.  You tell me "I know, never play guns or use potty talk at school."  And somehow, I am ok with this fine line.

Your language goes well beyond doody butt, however, with an extensive and developed vocabulary and a diction that is so pronounced that conversation with you is easy.  You even like to talk on the phone and can ask and answer questions with ease and clarity.  You know the alphabet song and sing it correctly most of the time, but are still learning your letters. You have a particular fondness for "H" pointing out each Capital H that you see.  You also point out each "D for Decker," "T for Turner," "R for Ryder," "C for Chase," and "E for Ethan," with enthusiasm.  It is funny, though, because so often you will point at a letter and proclaim it is a D but then when you say what it is for, (Turner, Ryder, Chase, etc.) you will associate the correct name to the letter, which is never a D. You like to sing and be sung to though I think you are learning that I am as bad of a singer as they come.

Your favorite food is cream cheese and jelly sandwiches which verifies you are my son.  You also enjoy cereal, soup, and Go-Go Squeeze.  You still love drinking milk, though prefer chocolate milk to "reg milk" whenever we let you have it.  Drinking milk is an activity for you.  You take your cup and your "banks" and go sit and cuddle the corner of the blanket while drinking the full cup without taking a breather.  You will negotiate for more milk, "just a little bit" you'll say as you squint your eyes and pinch your thumb and forefinger together.  Then, without hesitation, you will go into the fridge and grab the chocolate syrup and the milk, and then a spoon to stir it.  You make it difficult to say no.

You are funny.  Funny because you are a little boy and little boys say funny things.   And, you're funny because you're you and you happen to be funny.  And, silly.  And, exposed to sarcasm and comedy regularly.  You understand the concept of jokes even if you don't always get the punchline and you  know when we are being silly with you,sarcastic with you, or simply teasing you.  Nobody laughs harder at one of your brother's jokes than you and nobody makes any of us laugh nearly as hard as you do.

Silly boy

In school you have Ms. Fern and Ms. Nicole and enjoy going three days a week.  You mention the kids in your class quite often and will hopefully continue to grow up with these kids- Phoebe, Grace, Val, Jonathon, Casy, DJ, and Jaxon.  You still spend Fridays with Uncle Mat and most other days dull in comparison.  And, most Tuesdays, are still mommy day, which is by far my favorite day of the week.  We spend a lot of time at the hockey rink and you seem to enjoy the game.  In addition to playing mini-hockey with your brothers, you never seem to mind sitting through a game, nor the cold.  Though it's true, your favorite part is the Zamboni.

First Day of School in the 2's

Over the course of the year you enjoyed the rides at Great Adventure; spent a weekend in Wildwood and loved being on the boardwalk; took an 8 hour car-ride to Buffalo for a hockey tournament (what else!!)  You were great in the car-ride (though I admit I was worried), fantastic at the hockey games, loved running through the hotel well past your bedtime, and though you couldn't appreciate the beauty of Niagara Falls in the winter, you were a good boy, repeatedly said how beautiful it was, and just went along for the ride.  We were all happy you were there.
Wildwood
Niagara Falls

The most remarkable thing that happened this year is that the Eagles won the Superbowl.   We watched the game at our house with the Benjamin's, the Klaus' and the Van Aken's.  We celebrated during the entire game, cheering on our favorite birds.  Then, a few days later, we took you (and the whole family) down to the art museum to enjoy the world champion's parade.  You may not remember any of it but this was Philadelphia's first superbowl championship and, someday when you're older, you'll be happy to know you were in some way a part of the special first one.

Our Eagles Superbowl viewing party

An important lesson learned during Superbowl LVII

Eagles Parade

You love to hear what I call your song, Can't Stop the Feeling, and will ask for it by requesting "my song." When you hear music you love to "wiggle wiggle" and will often tell us to clap our hands.
You are fun, you are funny, you are sweet, and you are oh so smart.



Wiggle Wiggle

We celebrated you turning 3 multiple times.  First it was the Sunday prior with your grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousin.  By request we had ice cream cake that had cars on it and you ran around playing hide n seek and other games and toys with Max and Leo.  Then you celebrated on Thursday with your school friends.  Finally, today, on your birthday, we celebrated together.  You woke up to balloons tied to your door.  We spent the morning watching your brother's play some basketball then we did our traditional hibachi meal (lunch this time) before going over to the Little Pod.  There you had the devoted attention of your brothers for 2 straight hours of play time.  You and they had the best time and I loved watching them be with you so attentively.  It was a really fun day.

Happy 3rd birthday
Balloons at your door


Hibachi lunch
Making a wish
Brothers who whack moles together, stay together
You are 37 inches and 29.8 pounds. This is over 3 inches of growth and 2.5 pounds of weight gain since last year.  You are slight in your build and your little 3 year old body reminds us all of Chase at the same age.  Although you pee on the potty on demand and have control over your poops you are not expressing an interest in wearing underwear just yet.  We've promised you a big boy bed when you are out of diapers and this is not a bribe that is speeding along any desire for you potty train. You won't let us help you when you eat and though you can use a "boy boy" cup (big boy cup) you still prefer your milk sippy cup and your blue sippy cup for your juice or water.  You are a good boy at bed time in spite of the phase of not sleeping we all endured last fall, and you have a fondness for the bath that makes bath night pretty easy.

It is mind-blowing how big you are getting, how fast it is happening, and how you are skipping steps just to catch up to the "guys."  But, one thing that hasn't changed since the day you were born is that you are truly a light in all of our lives.  You bring joy and smiles to all of our faces.  In the hectic of our days, as we run from place to place, and bicker over homework and chores and activities, each one of us is calmed when we see you; each one of us wants to greet you with a hug and a kiss and a smile; each one of us wants our chance to play with you, hang out with you, be with you.  Because, you are a gift, a joy, a true ray of sunshine.  Turning 3 on 3/3 may be a lucky day but, as I said, it really is all of us that are the lucky ones.

Happy 3rd birthday, Decker.  I love you so......

Decker's 2nd birthday letter





Laughing with your brother

School picture- 2's class


One of the guys




Growing in to the birthday shirt

Playing with your favorite guys
Altitude Trampoline Park- our last mommy day as a 2 year old

Your new favorite camera face

The taste of your first cheesesteak in honor of Ethan's Birthday

Part of your illustrated day with Uncle Mat

Go EAGLES!!