The Tovsky Tribe

Chocolates, Cocktails, Friends, Babies...A Girl Should Never Have Just ONE!!

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Last night I hung out with Susannah Forde. Susannah was my freshman year roommate at Penn State. Here's the thing about freshmen and their roommates, they are randomly selected from the mix of students in your graduation year, and the most you could have in common is that you are both becoming Nittany Lions. Unless, of course, you are amongst the exceptions. The exceptions could be the few who, scared of the random pick and being left feeling alone, hand-pick their roommate from either a choice of best friends who are coming along or even the jerk they never liked but at least they knew that jerk. The exception, as in my case, could also be the athletes. Yes, when I left for Penn State as a naive freshman, I was a student athlete recruited to play softball. This meant I was assigned to the nicer, more centrally located dorms (a disadvantage, I felt, in many ways because we were not with all of the other freshmen) and your random selection of roommate was exponentially reduced to other freshmen on your team. By random selection of freshmen softball players I was put with Susannah Forde and it turned out, in my case, random selection was a much better result than hand-picking a roommate ever could have been.

I remember when we met the first time and we instantly liked each other. She was a Southerner with just a twang of proof in her voice. I was the first Jew she had ever met in her life. And so it went! I really liked Susannah and she became a really good friend. I remember having fun with her.
Several months later I was cut from that softball team and I let it destroy me. As a result I pushed Susannah away due to a scarred ego. We did keep in touch once we were no longer roommates, but only to a degree.

Years passed since college, I had healed and laughed at myself from the softball debacle and, several times, I had searched for Susannah via the internet. The internet, however, had gotten me nowhere until along came facebook. Through the networking site I found Susannah and thanks to her work travel to Philly we were able to hang out the other night.

We had so much fun! Despite not hanging out in the last 15 years, we picked up right where we left off sharing stories of our lives, our husbands, our children. We ate a little, drank some, and laughed a lot.

I regret, still, letting the game I was unsure I even wanted to play in college corrupt a blossoming friendship, but am grateful we could both put it behind us in order to move on and share a bunch of laughs!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Little Love!

Ryder has always been a little lover. Since he was a tiny baby he made you want to snuggle with him. He had this way of curling into you forming a perfect nestle. He was warm, and cozy, and totally snuggable. He is very much still this way, though he may not always let on.

True, it is Chase who will ask so sweetly, "mommy will you cuddle with me and watch TV," a request that always has me drop whatever I am doing to oblige, and together we will sit entwined in a soft hug! I love those moments and cherish them while they last. Chase asks to cuddle a few times a week, and it could never, will never get old.

And, true, both boys will ask for a hug or to be held in a heart-melting sort of way, and it is no wonder I am often holding 30 pounds per hip.

But still, it is Ryder that has that natural way of cozying into you when you least expect it. He may not ask to cuddle for that is not his way. Instead, when the moment lends itself to a snuggle-up, he has this way about him that makes you want to hold him forever. At night, when I lay in bed with each of them on occasion, Ryder will lace his fingers in mine and lay nose to nose. He has a soft touch that quickly reminds me that below his fearless skin is my sensitive boy!

Two weeks ago we had my cousin Sarah's wedding. Chase and Ryder were the ring bearers and it was a wonderful event.
The photographer had taken the whole wedding party outside for group pictures. Chase and Ryder were amazingly cooperative as I stood back and watched with pride. Suddenly, Ryder ran away from the group and towards me. When I asked him what he was doing he looked at me and said "I just need to give you a kiss, mommy!". Which he did, then went back to the pose.
I was tickled like a school girl!

He does that time and again. He will be acting all cool and will stop to give his mommy a kiss, or a hug, or both!

The wedding party picture after the "kiss your mama" break!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Locked In!

We reversed the handle on Chase and Ryder's door. We did this so that the lock would be on the outside, a weapon required for victory during the bedtime wars (for more on this click here and here.) Eventually, the wars subsided, but the lock on the outside remained. Since we never were able to put "time outs" into effect the only punishment that came to be (other than taking away Barney or Hi-5 for Chase or Neil Young for Ryder) was to lock them in their room for timeout. They cry when we do this, and as a result my heart breaks, but there are times when our little angels need some disciplining;)
When we moved the lock to the outside we hid a tool inside of the room so that when and if the time came that I got locked in there, either by accident or because of Ryder's nimble fingers, we would be prepared. We hid the tiny little screwdrivers out of sight and out of reach from Mr. Observant (Chase) and Mr. MacGyver (Ryder). We were set.

Then one day, I am not sure how many months ago, the batteries died in the boys' remote control cars. And, for some reason on this day, at this time I felt as if they must have their remote controls available for play immediately. The batteries in their toys run out frequently, and to be quite honest, I am never in a rush to change them. Partly because there are so many noises all day that a toy without sound is great, and partly because, just like opening them for the first time, these manufacturers don't make it easy. Not only does everything take more batteries then we usually have but to change them you need a tiny little screwdriver! A tiny little screwdriver just like the ones we hid in Chase and Ryder's room. So, since now these cars have become an absolute must, I go retrieve the well hidden "lock prevention" tools and set out to change all the batteries I can.
When I was finished I have no idea what I did with the tools. Most likely, I left them out got distracted by a phone call, a bathroom break, three diaper changes, a bottle feeding, a juice refill, a load of laundry, a glass of wine, a DVR'ed episode of something unimportant, an email, and 30 other things. Before I know it weeks have passed, the tools are no longer out but I have no idea where they are. Luckily, I suppose, no other toys batteries expired. Perhaps the cleaning lady put the tools away, perhaps it was Todd. There is even a chance it was me, but that does not mean I will remember doing it nor where I put it. In fact, until the moment I am about to tell you about I had not thought about those tools, those neatly aligned various sized miniature screwdrivers.

Then Monday came. We were going about our typical bedtime routine. We had just finished baths and I had just finished dressing Turner and brought him into Chase and Ryder's room to give him a bottle. Chase and Ryder were still horsing around, stahling bedtime off as long as possible. Todd had gone to get the phone so we could put a call in to Bubbe Evie.
The boys jumped from bed to beanbag chair while Todd spoke to Bubbe Evie via speakerphone. She always loves to hear them talk despite the fact she rarely understands what they are saying.
After a cycle of I Love you's, Todd hung up the phone and went to leave the room. He does this! We will be in the middle of putting them to bed and he will walk out to floss his teeth. Because, it seems, just like the cars' needed batteries, his teeth must become plaque free at that exact moment. No, it simply can not wait until they are actually in bed. Tonight, however, it was good he has this habit at often inopportune times, because when he tried to leave we realized all 5 of us were locked in the room.

At least we were together.

First we laughed, because it was pretty funny. Then we looked for the aforementioned tools, which were not there making us keenly aware at that moment we were stranded. This made me laugh again, and grateful none of my children were on the other side of the door. Though, had Ryder been on the outside he could have rescued us, he likely would have needed to have a jam session, climb a wall, open a bottle, and put in a dvd first, however. We realized we had the phone and made a call to my mom, who on Monday nights works at the Richboro office. Unfortunately, she is there alone at night (other than my father who is with patients) so when she received this call, and after her hysterics, said she could rescue us soon, but not at that moment due to the influx of patients. Ok, so we would sit and wait. Then, I called Rachel. I know Rachel would do anything for us, a true benefit of having one of your best friends live nearby, but she has two young kids and her husband works nights, so this call was a gamble. Clearly she could not pack up her kids just to let us out of our cage. As luck would have it she was on her way home from an ice cream outing so they were all in the car. If you know Rachel, an ice cream outing for her is as likely as me not putting the screwdrivers back where they belong. So, Rachel came to our rescue, laughing the whole way. And, who could blame her, it was pretty damn funny.

Of course, the situation had us thinking, what if, as on most nights, we had not had the phone in the room? Well, to that I said, "it's a good thing we bought that fire ladder!" Then I remembered the fire ladder lives in the hallway linen closet. Uh-oh! Maybe we should move that?

Saturday, June 6, 2009

A Letter to my Son on his 5 Month Birthday!

Turner on his 5 Month Birthday!

Dear Turner,

Today you turn five months old! Despite being less than half of a year old you seem to show personality and expression well beyond your months. You are the happiest baby. You smile often and cry little. You are laid back and totally flexible, which is a good thing since we spend our time catering to Chase and Ryder's schedule that there has not been a real opportunity to set your schedule.
Life has been a bit more hectic these days, but you continue to be a breeze. You only cry, if at all, when you are tired. You laugh out loud when you are tickled and at your brothers' shenanigans. No one and nothing can make you laugh like them.
This month you found your tongue. You flex this muscle as often as you can, sticking it out, moving it around. It won't be long until you will be zerberting your drool!
You do drool, and you suck on your hands, and you often leave my shirt soaking wet. All of these, I believe, are the early signs of teething.
In addition to your four 8 ounce bottles a day, which for the record I should add you have been trying to hold all on your own, we broadened your palette this month by beginning food! It took about two weeks before you figured it out, but now you are pretty good at it. Unfortunately, your mother offers you no consistency in when you receive these meals. It is a good thing you are a very easy going kid!
So far you have enjoyed pears, bananas, and peas in addition to the oatmeal. Next up: applesauce.
Also this month, we spent Memorial Day weekend in Margate. We took you on your first beach outing, where you did great and really seemed to enjoy the salty, ocean air.
Although you do not roll over regularly still, there are times when I will see you attempting to get up on your knees. Oh my, is crawling in the near future?
You like music, your brothers', and when I clap your hands.
Your hair is growing in thicker and seems to be dirty blonde and curly. Your eyes continue to be a beautiful, light grey-blue. Your smile is rewarding, your demeanor is pleasurable, and your face is precious. Sometimes, when it is just you and I, I will run my finger down the side of your face. You love it! Your eyes half-close, your lips half smile- you are caught between being relaxed and being tickled!

You are my baby boy! You are a joy and a pleasure and you make me so proud. I see glimpses of the boy you will be and I get excited to watch your personality blossom. You bring joy to those who hold you, those who love you, and not a moment goes by that I am not thrilled that you are my son, my baby, my Turner!

I love you so,

Who found his tongue?

The laughter of little boys!

My happy baby boy!

Want to hear me laugh??