The Tovsky Tribe

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Thursday, September 8, 2016

A Letter to my Son on his 18 Month Birthday!

Dear Decker,





18 months, happy.  Although it is true I don't get to write these letters monthly, or even quarterly, it is also true that every month that passes, passes by happy.

The thing about you being a year and a half is that it is one of the most difficult phases we must deal with as parents.  I say this even amidst the mouthiness of tween-agers and the social issues that come along with being in 5th grade.  It is possible that I am forgetting, for the moment, about three year old tantrums, but we will go with this phase being the most difficult, being that we are in it, for purposes of this letter.  You are everything I expected from a toddler, everything I remember your brothers being...only more.  You are a climber, a mover, a shaker, a toucher, a feeler, a jumper, a runner, and a literal button pusher.  You have a physical capability that is amazing, and though I have grasped your capability and have almost embraced it most people are scared to death when they see how you climb to the top of the jungle gym and stand on the end, or walk parking curbs like a balance beam.  You can unscrew lids, do zippers, open doors, and are working on the buckles of your car seat. You are unbelievably strong and can hold your own in a tug of war with daddy or I or any of your brothers.  You mimic their every move and have shadow practiced your baseball swing and throw, your hockey swing, even a frisbee toss.  You try to dribble a basketball and do so pretty well considering, well, that you are one.  You can throw anything with straight projection and good velocity and can do so with both hands.  And, you are one hell of a little soccer player; capable of dribbling with both feet, kicking mid-stride, and striking a ball directly into a goal which is always a followed with both hands in the air and a "yyyaaaayyy!"

To the masses it's your eyes, your curls, your face that gets noticed and, literally, stops admirers in their step.  And, there is no doubt, that your blue eyes are bright and shine from your happy soul; your curls are long, and flowing, and enviable; your face is soft and pretty and dimpled, but to all of us who know you we understand that those physical attributes are not what make you WHO you are. You are a light in a room, a bounce in a step, a rare blooming flower on a warm winter's day. You are made up of a blend of unique and wonderful joys, like the look of delight that settles on your face and your smile with each small accomplishment. You are the way you excitedly nod your head for even the most simple of Yes's. And, it is the way you throw your head back, with your mouth open, and give a full belly laugh that causes laughing fits to anyone around you.  It is your persistent need to do and to learn and your impeccable understanding of words you can not say.  It is the way you grab a hold of my hand and take me to where ever it is you want to be and the way you smile when you see someone you love and give "huggies" upon request.  It is the way that you applaud small joys. And how, at a call for kisses, you pucker up your lips and will grace whatever lips come your way or how you suck in your cheeks to pucker up for fishy kisses. It is your "heh?" that is repeated after everything that is said to you, that should be annoying yet, coming from you, is somehow cute even if it does make me question your hearing.  It is the way you lay your head on my shoulder when you're ready for bed and will tap your hand on my back as we sing through the "D-E-C-K-E-R" song.  It is your love for books and the way you grab a few and crawl onto my lap to read them.  And, it is your love for puzzles and your need to keep trying until you solve them.  It is how you follow your brothers around and watch everything they do, and even more, it is the way they are with you- how you can get them to stop, to quiet, and to embrace you even when they are mid-moment of boy hyper.  It's all of this that makes you Decker and, though I take no credit for these attributes (they were truly gifted to you,) I feel privileged every day to have an opportunity to watch you grow and help cultivate the personality that is brewing and the person you are becoming.


Decker, at one and a half, you love books, and balls, and bubbles, and iphones.  You can navigate my phone swiftly and easily finding your apps within your folder and swiping right through each game. Unforyunately, however, you will throw an absolute tantrum if we take it away from you.  You love the playground.  The swings always get you laughing and you can never get enough of the sliding board.  You like yogurt, love your milk, and love applesauce. You prefer to feed yourself with both spoon and fork (in spite of the mess that causes) and are improving with that skill each day.  You sleep well, and often times will point right to your crib when it is time to go to bed.  We will lay you down on your soft, blue blanket and you will outstretch your arms and grab the ends and pull them in to your chest to cuddle.  It is just the cutest thing I have ever seen, and quite funny, since you are not a cuddler...not at all.  No, you do not like to cuddle (though you are happy to give hugs) and don't really like to be held, as you want to be able to be moving and doing at all times.


We took away the iphone!


You have a few words you use regularly; more and milk (both said while also using the sign); ball, and book and dad.  You say "Ry-yer" which is what you call all 3 of your brothers (though you used to call all 3 "Seis".)  Most of the other words that you have said; yes, fish, banana, bubble, lawn mower, Turner, Mama, you use sparingly.  Much like I remember Ryder being at a similar age, you seem to learn a word and then store it in your mind. You will start to use them all, possibly at once, at a later date.  For now, you communicate quite well with a string of grunts and noises and points and always seem to get what you need.

At 18 months you weigh 24.4 pounds and are 32.5 inches long, though that length is inaccurate considering you wouldn't sit still long enough to measure. You are light but solid and strong.  Your muscles have a definition that many of us could only wish for and you are coordinated and graceful in your movements.

We are busy and often on the go.  Between work and school and activities I often feel I don't get enough time to just be with you and that is why I cherish the Tuesdays that we have together.  And, though Tuesday is my favorite day, as I get to be with you, I am pretty sure your favorite day is the time you spend with Uncle Mat! No matter how busy or how hectic our life can be,you are the calm in our storm, the light in our day.  You keep me on my toes and are always in to something and I can't wait to see what is to come as we go through the days together.

I love you so......




First day of school

By the lake
Your Friday's with Uncle Mat!

One day, you pointed and grunted at this picture of daddy and Cousin Jaime until I handed it to you. Once I did, you looked at it, pointed at daddy and said "Da" then you pointed at Jaime, looked at me, and gave Jaime a kiss.  You know who he is without ever meeting him!!!

Turner at 18 months

So, this is twin toddlerhood

Chase and Ryder at 18 months