Crash and Burned

Six weeks ago my computer died. As I was sitting paying bills, the horrid blue screen appeared and that was it, dead as can be. I survived, barely, five long weeks without a computer. This survival was due only to the fact that I have a blackberry, which is not a replacement for the computer but became merely a survival tool. It is a very difficult world when you must live without a computer. You may not realize, however, how dependent you are until it is too late. Kind of like losing use of your thumb. Last January I had MRSA on my right thumb. It is extremely difficult to function without your dominant thumb.
Anyway, when I got my computer back, it was stripped of everything that made it mine in the first place. You know when you use someone else's computer and nothing is where it is supposed to be, none of your files are on there, nor your cookies, no saved passwords or log ins? That is how it was, a stranger in a familiar shell. The only thing that made this same old computer with a new hard drive mine was that it was in my possession. On the bright side it functioned a whole lot faster than I remember it ever functioning. Slowly, but surely, I am making it my own.
Last week the external hard drive containing all of the recovered data from my dead hard drive was delivered to my door. I was rather excited to see it and felt optimistic in what I would be able to reclaim. Turns out, nearly a thousand dollars later, a lot of my pictures are toast and the two most important files I had (and need) are totally corrupt. My hard drive truly crash and burned.

Fifth!

At our wedding, being introduced for the first time as husband and wife

A wedding day portrait

Today marks the five year anniversary of our wedding day!! Five in itself is special, but this year it is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving just as it was the night of our wedding, the biggest party night of the year. Yesterday, marked the eleven year anniversary of the day Todd and I started dating, significant for many reasons but mostly because without it we would have nothing to celebrate today.
I remember our wedding day as if it was yesterday. It was the most perfect day, everything went as planned, and is one of the best days of our lives. The memory of it still makes me smile, I imagine it always will.
Our marriage also makes me smile. I love being married and am amongst the fortunate. I married my true love and my best friend. We still know how to have a really good time together, and yet we can deal with all of life's responsibilities together, as a team.
Together we have begun building a life, and everyday we appreciate what we are building.
Things are different from when we met as young kids bouncing around the city. We live in the suburbs, have two homes, two kids and one on the way. We can't put ourselves first anymore, but we do often put each other first, as we should. We don't go out six nights a week anymore, and we don't vacation as much as we would like (particularly Todd.) We've traded those things in for something better, a family, and we would never trade in each other.
Our anniversary was supposed to be celebrated two ways: First, with a visit from our friends who we met on our honeymoon. They were honeymooning too and our friendship was inevitable We were going to get together for our joint fifth, with our kids who are all the same age. We were all looking forward to it. We were also supposed to go away for this celebratory anniversary, and do so with great friends. Unfortunately, circumstances with Zygie prevent us from enjoying these activities. Instead, we will celebrate with a nice dinner tonight, and a weekend in a hotel next weekend. Sure, it's not Jamaica, nor time with far away friends, and yes we are disappointed, but we will be celebrating our togetherness together, which is what matters most in the end. Frankly, there is nowhere else I need to be, than just with Todd.
Five years has passed quickly, sometimes it is hard to believe, but I have enjoyed every minute of this journey. I would do everything exactly the same to this point and I love trekking through time with Todd. Five is special indeed, but it is still just the beginning. Happy Anniversary Todd, I love you!

Expect the Unexpected

I am not the most prepared person. Although I was a brownie, I ditched the girl scouts for athletics, so if preparedness is their motto, as it is in the boy scouts, well it never became my motto. I am not one who rushes to the supermarket before a predicted snowstorm, just in case we get the unlikely blizzard that locks us down for three days. I don't have a hand bag full of things you may never know you need, and I don't keep a first aid kit and a case of bottled water in my car. Perhaps, I should do all of these things.
However, today as I headed to my amniotic fluid check/non-stress test, I was actually trying to prepare for the unlikely, at least to a degree. After being admitted to the hospital for 72 hours last week, being instructed to rest and to hydrate, both of which I find difficult, the possibilty/fear of being readmitted was dancing in my head. Although my gut, yep the same one that insists this baby is a boy, says all will be fine, my mind is playing devil's advocate. So, I did some minor preparations, just in case. To the girl scout, these preparations are probably just a joke, afterall I did not leave a dinner prepared in my fridge, or worthwhile instructions for my children's care. No, what I did do was charge my phone, take a shower (yesterday), bring my anniversary cards with me, leave Leila's money at home, and packed all the pictures I have been meaning to sort into a bag, just in case, so that Todd could bring them to me if I were laid up. And, hopefully, it will all be for nothing, as I am thinking it will. But, I figurd the more prepared I was the better my chances of not needing any of it. Hmmm, should I transfer this philosophy to the rest of my life?

And, in case you were wondering, the test is done, I did pass both and am not being admitted but the instructions to rest, rest, rest and drink, drink, drink remain. Until next week....

No, I'm Chase

That was his answer to the question "Are you handsome?"
I guess modesty can go a long way.

Committed to the possibilty!

It is no secret that since Todd and I found out we were pregnant we both have thought this will be our third son. This is not a wish, just simply a hunch. Although we both would love to have a daughter, three sons would be pretty fun too, so either way we are thrilled! Everyone says this hunch is because boys are all we know and I suppose they could be right about that, but for me, something inside of me just says boy!!! The way I feel is an indicator, which is similar to how I felt when I carried Chase and Ryder in their extra large home. The food I eat is an indicator, again similar to the mass consumption I experienced the first go round. The way I am carrying, may make you think girl, but then my gut feeling takes over and I am right back to thinking boy. And, truth is, I know none of this means anything, the way I feel or the way I carry, so I just go back to gut, which is bigger than average at the moment. The people around us that offer their opinions, both solicited and not, all say it is a girl. They say it with such conviction that they nearly have me convinced. It's as if they know something we don't. And so, as my gut tells me boy, my mind, pregnesia and all, is committed to the possibilty that Zygie will have two X chromosomes. What does committing to the possibilty mean? Well, for one I am thinking about our life. Two boys and a girl, incorporating pink into our blue world, and adding tea parties and princess parties to the sports and the trucks. I am trying to find us a name that we love enough for our baby girl AND we agree on and I am just letting myself realize that, sure, the possibilty does exist.

Thirty Weeks and counting....

Today I am thirty weeks pregnant. Technically, there are 10 weeks remaining, but since we have scheduled my c-section for 1/6/09 I officially have exactly 8 weeks remaining. 8 weeks minus the one I am on vacation and minus 2.5 weeks of holiday time, leaving me with just over 4 weeks to get a lot done for Zygie. Hmmm...that is not much time.
Zygie is superactive. Moving around all of the time, it's incredible what I am feeling inside of myself. I do not remember the boys being this active, or perhaps they just did not have enough space for so many flips.
Zygie moves all of the time. In the rare moments when I can sit and watch, I can actually see my belly morph into some odd shape, a watermelon birthing an alien if you will. It amazes me to see body parts float beneath my skin and I love feeling the activity of our soon to be third born.
I have over-indulged in cookies and ice cream, and find apples and clementines to be the most refreshing, enjoyable snacks. The world is still guessing that zygie is a girl but I continue to think boy...in 8 weeks we will know once and for all.

That Would Be Great!!!!

Chase has a new expression. Words that, when delivered, make you crack up laughing. If you ask Chase if he wants to, for example, read a book, he will look at you, flash his dimples and say with delight "That would be great, Mommy!" Chase, do you want to go to the playground? "That would be great, Mommy!". Whatever it is we are asking him is never nearly as exciting as the tone of his voice complemented by the gesture of his hands, often mimicking a fist pump. Though his enthusiasm is contagious, I have not gotten him to answer this way to the question; "Chase, do you want to take a nap?"

Big Boy Beds Update

The transition to big boy beds was easy. So much so that I am left wondering if I should have done it sooner and perhaps would have prevented those sleepless nights.
Despite the fact the naps are on their way out, eveything else is smoothe sailing. They go to bed at bedtime, sleep through the night, and do not fight us to stay in bed. They have not fallen out of bed and just like their mommy when she was a kid they find the bed to be most comfortable in every other position then the one expected. Sometimes they are perpindicular, or angled, or even half way on the table at the head of their bed. But, they are asleep, soundlessly.
Chase and Ryder seem to love their beds. This is proven by the fact that they tell everyone they talk to they are in big boy beds and then proceed to tell them the color (Chase, blue. Ryder, red.).
My babies are growing up fast, next will be potty training.

The Turtle and the Zebra

Ryder the turtle

Chase the zebra

The Tovsky's

The animal farm (minus a turtle) with the vet on site.

For an adult, Halloween, like birthdays, become special all over again once you can experience it through your children's eyes. This year's Halloween was no exception.
Although I thought briefly about being supermom and making costumes, I quickly came to terms that was a dream that would never be realized. So, I searched the catalogues. After our trip to Florida where the hotel had a turtle pond, the boys had become quite fond of turtles and when I saw the turtle costume I knew we had to have it. Ok, one down. Later I found a zebra that was just too cute to pass up. And so it became, Chase and Ryder would be a turtle and a zebra. Although we did not decide who would be what, I knew we had several events (my gym, parade, halloween) and we could switch them up. Once the costumes came in the mail, however, the boys claimed their own. I had no idea how excited the boys would be to wear costumes, dress up if you will. As soon as I took the costumes out of the bags Ryder went right for the turtle and Chase for the Zebra and they could not wait to get the suits on their bodies. Once they did they looked so cute and suddenly I could not wait for Halloween. I had to fight with the boys to take the costumes off and had to hide the costumes afterwards in order to stop the incessant begging for the turtle and zebra.
The My Gym party was cute and the boys took right to the same costumes, only they did not want to wead the headpieces. Unfortunately, due to rain, the parade was rescheduled and we were not available on the rain date. The morning of Halloween began with the Phillies victory parade and concluded with birthday celebration/trick or treating at Ellie's. We all had a great time. Surrounded by all of the grandparents the kids played, dressed in their same costumes- no switching necessary, and trick or treated. The boys loved it. Coincidentally, all the kids were animals so it was the 2 year old animal farm trolling around the neighborhood. They ran up to the homes in Northampton Hunt and said with delight "trick or treat, I'm a zebra (or turtle)" as if the candy giver could not tell. They were so excited as they ran from house to house collecting their candy in their pumpkins, still talking about seeing the phanatic on the truck.

Two and a quarter

Two years four months! And, for such an age, you both continue to amaze us. Your language skills are way beyond your years, participating in full conversations using sentences consisiting of 4,5,6 words. I am actually amazed by some of the things you say, Chase in particular who has recently told Randi ,"I got all dressed up for you" never mind that he was in pajamas, responded "yes, I will, I would love to" in answer to the question of will you play peek a boo with the baby, and "I want to get on the airplane with you, I am already dressed" to Aunt Bonnie as she was getting ready to head out for her flight home.


These boys remember everything and I better sharpen up, as they use names I mention just once or ask for specific scenes from a show they watch that I may not have noticed. Chase has keen observation skills (clearly he gets this from Todd) and asked me where the flags were at the playground. Truth is, I had never noticed flags before but assumed he was right and said they were put away for the winter. Do they put flags away for the winter? Scary when you trust your two year old's observations more than your own. Both of them will notice a tiny picture of a dog, or Mickey, or Elmo or whoever, in obscure places and point it out. I find myself looking high and low and only sometimes do I actually see what they are referring to. Like when Minnie was on the back of a little girls sweatshirt at the zoo and I could not see it despite their claims that there was Minnie. I always know they are correct in what they see, it's me who can't find Waldo in the crowd.


The boys are doing great with school, including the recently added lunch hour. They seem to love Ms. Sue and though they do not talk much about their day they do enjoy going and come home happy. They seem to really love Shabbat, the Rabbi, and Cantor Paul and his guitar.
Ryder still loves his guitar and both boys love to sing. They are really into coloring, particularly Ryder, who focuses very deliberately on the artwork at hand. They have drawn rocket ships, me, mom-mom, fishies, and rainbows all of which look exactly like the same scribble.
Ryder loves a challenge. He will sit down and work on a puzzle or toy for some time so long as it challenges him. When he completes something he will clap and say "Ta Da" and always wants us to recognize his accomplishment.


The boys remember particular pictures from their books and ask to see that page. It's never the overall picture, but some small detail, which I am forced to pay attention to in order to know what they are talking about. For example, in the book "Never, Ever, Shout in a Zoo!". There is a page towards the end of the book where all of the animals are lined up. The way the artist drew the picture the zebra's head is on top of the elephant's tush. At first glance the drawing seems completely normal but when the boys ask to see "biting the elephants toosie" this is the page they are referring to, a reference they came up with all on their own. In the book "The Hippo's go Bezerk," when the hippo's are partying with delight all throughout the hippo night there are some hippos on the roof of the house in the picture. Again, you may not have noticed, but Chase and Ryder call this page the "be careful up there" page and will want me to skip right to it. They notice details, like the cookies the cat is eating in "Tumble Bumble," though the story does not mention it. Are all two year olds so detail oriented? They seem to have a sense of humor, love to be silly, and have inherited their father's love for potty humor.


Although I can't get them to go down for a nap, they will sleep for some time if they fall asleep in the car. They go to bed in their big boy beds with out a fuss.
I can't believe how quickly the time has passed and how our baby boys have become these little people with personalities. The boys always look out for each other, which we love, and though they sometimes fight like brothers, they are really becoming best friends. They play together now, which is not only touching but also is very helpful in that they do not always need us watching over them. And, they both seem genuinely excited for this baby which is soon to come. Twin two year olds, it is not always easy, but it is certainly never boring!

Living through History

What an amazing time in American history we are living through. I am thrilled to know that my third born will enter a world where the Phillies are the defending World Champs and our President is a black man. Zygie will likely never understand that prior to late fall 2008, the Phillies were the losingest team in baseball and a black President existed only in the "I Have a Dream" speech of Dr. Martin Luther King. Zygie will never know, what we know, how things are suddenly changing.

Sea of Red

On Halloween the city of Philadelphia celebrated the victory of our World Series Champions. Our city was so starved for a celebration of such kind, not to mention it was a perfect fall day of 61 degrees, that over 2 million people filled the streets dressed in red, chanting and cheering.
We decided to take the boys to the celebration so that, if nothing else, later in life they can say they were there. We let them play hooky from school due to a case of Phillies Phever, dressed in our Phillies gear, and packed a days worth of snacks and toys. We planned on taking the train, and the boys were excited to ride their first choo choo. Only it seems all 2 million people heeded the advice of the media to use public transportation and the trains were so crowded you could not get on and they were hours behind. We decided to drive, hit no traffic and got to town in less time than it takes in the middle of the night.




Once in the city we put the boys in the stroller and headed to Broad Street.
It seemed like any normal day in the city, but as the blocks ascended and Broad Street drew closer you could feel the energy and hear the noise. We parked ourselves in front of the Capital Grille, between Chestnut and Sansom Streets and awaited the frenzy.


Todd, Erik, and Dave took turns, two at a time, heading into the bar for a beer or cocktail. They were kind enough to have one of them stay with me and the boys most of the time. Although Ryder did have his first bar experience when all three of the grown boys needed to have the last drink of the day together.

Ryder also had his first taste of body surfing when, in an attempt to get back to our spot, the overcrowded corner of Broad and Chestnut had the guys deliberately navigating through an excited crowd and Todd held his two year old above his head, as if Ryder was flying. Not surprisingly, our little dare-devil loved it.
At our spot we just waited. Surrounded by excited but respectful people, we watched as red filled the streets. We listened as horns blew. And, we cheered as shouts echoed.

Chase and Ryder were so good. They seemed to enjoy the frenzy and only had a minor breakdown of about five minutes each throughout the entire day. Though we did go through most of the snacks and juices, I never had to break out one toy.


And then at about 12:40PM , as indicated by the eruption of millions of simultaneous screams, the parade turned the corner at Broad Street and we got to see our beloved Phils.
Atop the shoulders of the guys, Chase and Ryder were able to see "the phanatic on the truck" as they say, which made the whole experience worthwhile for them.


I did not get to see much but the energy I felt was worth the trip. In fact, it left me wanting to do it all again in 2009.

Let's Go Phils!

Alter Egos

All of the great Super Heroes have Alter Ego's. Superman is known as Clark Kent without his cape and when Spiderman is not a spider he is simply Peter Parker. Chase and Ryder are no exceptions.
They love to wear their blankets as capes. They have been doing this for several months where we tie the blanket around their necks and suddenly it is a cape. At first I told them they were Super Grover, figuring it was the only thing they knew. Occasionally we would tell them they were Superman, but we knew they had no idea who Clark Kent nor his alter ego were.
Recently however, they have developed their own alter egos. On the street they may be Chase and Ryder, but once they don their capes they become Sup-per Morgan and Sup-per Lane. I was amazed when they named themselves, and laugh when they ask to "be Super Morgan" as Chase hands me his blanket. Ryder soon followed suit. And, people say middle names don't mean anything.

Let's Go Mama!

For the last two weeks we have been chanting "Let's go Phillies!" within our home. It took some practice before the boys got it down, but in time for the final victory and the parade that followed our boys chanted like life long fans.
With the series ending (and very much in our favor) and the chants quieting, Todd started last night with "Let's go Obama.". He asked the boys to repeat it, which they did, to the best of their ability, and spent the rest of the night walking the house chanting "Let's go Mama!" As the mama, I did not correct them.