A Letter to my Son on his 2nd Birthday!

Dear Decker,

The happy 2 year old

Happy 2nd birthday!!  2 years happy.  To say how hard it is to believe, though true, seems unnecessary because the passage of time continues to blow me away.  As does watching you grow and become your own person. Yesterday, when I asked you if I could take a picture of you on your last day of being one, you stopped mid-step, said Yes, then gave me a great smile.  Perhaps you knew what I was talking about because, typically, I can't take pictures of you because the minute you see my phone you want it.  You must have it.  You will whine and cry until you get the "phoney."  You can use it like a pro, finding your favorite apps, your favorite YouTube videos, and swiping any texts that come in right off the screen.

Today you woke up to balloons (one of your favorite things) and hugs and kisses and the surprise of Mom-Mom Jill, who had spent the night.  Then you spent the day with Uncle Mat (another of your favorite things) before coming back home for a quick dinner and cake before heading out to synagogue for Chase and Ryder's gimel shabbat.  You had cake.  We sang to you.  You were happy.  You also celebrated with cupcakes and your friends in school yesterday.  And, next weekend we will celebrate with your grandparents, your aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Last day of 1

The last few weeks you have been every bit the two year old you now officially are.  Adding new words to your vocabulary on a daily basis; crying if we tell you no; throwing books and other things across the room; touching everything; climbing most things; finding fascination in the smallest things; repeating the same things, daily, whether it be a routine or an episode of your favorite show; and laughing and making us laugh with ease.

Aunt Amy reminded me this morning that the day you were born it was a cold and dreary day.  There was an ice storm outside (that caused her and the girls to have a 2 hour ride to meet you) and a blizzard was en route.  I wasn't fully aware (or at all aware) of what was doing outside.  But, as Aunt Amy said, you were the only ray of sunshine that day and, Decker, at 2, you continue to be just that- A constant light in the room!  As the world perpetually changes- in our family we have had job changes, divorce, more babies born, bat mitzvahs, and more- in the world, we have had war, and economic volatility, Trump has, somehow, become our President and more- and yet, Decker, no matter what is going on around us you remain to be this little pocket of joy that can be taken with me where ever I go and, ultimately, joy gets spread.  It is quite a gift you have and I am beyond honored to be the person you call mommy.  Justin Timberlake wrote a a song called Can't Stop This Feeling, which I love.  In the song he refers to the Sunshine in his pocket.  That is you, Decker, everyday.  I love this song.

You are becoming quite the talker and are always saying new words and sometimes stringing two or three together.  You are constantly choosing a new word you hear from any of us to mimic, and add it to your vocabulary.  You say many words perfectly, and have come a long way from "ball" and "bubble", but you also have your own word for many things and if someone doesn't know your language they will have no idea what you are referring to.  For example, you know a dog when you see one.  You can point to one, chase after one, find one on a page in a book, or choose the dog puzzle but you always call a dog a "far far."  It is hilarious and I sometimes find myself calling dogs farfars, as well.  Two weeks ago we were in the Poconos with Uncle Rob, Aunt Jamie, Max, Leo and Sulky.  We had a great time and you spent a good amount of time chasing Sulky around the house calling "far far, far far."  You also know the shape star but consistently call it "high" while putting your hand up to the sky.  I assume you got this from Twinkle Twinkle Little Star because I always point up to the sky at the line "up above the world so high."  There is also Bah-bah-bah, which is banana, and should not be confused with Babba, which is Yo Gabba Gabba and "bebe" is actually what you say for a go-go squeeze, which you love.  Although you used to call milk,"Achun" you have recently learned to say it properly and can ask it for endearingly by saying "milky."  If you want to watch Imagination Movers, one of your favorite shows, you say "Tat-a-Tat" and refer to the book "Blue Hat, Green Hat" only by its hilarious point of "oops!"  Balloons are "La-loons" and though you can say "Cake" perfectly clear we should not confuse it with how you ask for ice cream, which is "cuuk."  You can say "Chase" and "Ry-yer" but Turner you called "Cock-er" until just the other day.  When you want to draw or color you will say "d" but when you ask for the markers it is "these."

And by far far I mean dog

He finally get's it right!  "Turner"

But, communicating with you is easy, even before you had so many words you had a way of letting us all know what you wanted or needed.  Whether it was a pull to the finger or the look in your eye or the motion of your hands, we always knew. And, now, as you string the words together to form near sentences it is such joy when you sit on the floor, look me right in the eye, tap your open hand on the ground next to you, smile, and say "sit. come play."  And, when I do it is always great fun that eventually leads to us laughing and you lifting your arm in the air and hitting the ground as you bend over, your way of saying "that is hilarious!"

You are a master at puzzles and have learned to match your colors and shapes flawlessly.   Although you typically answer blue first for most colors you know blue, red, black, purple and yellow by name.  You can only say the shapes "heart" and "high" (star) but can place all of the shapes into the proper sorting holes or puzzle spaces without fail.  You love books and enjoy the Barnyard Dance and "swinging your partner," "sliding with sheep," "Bowing to the horse," and "Leaping with the frog."  You also love Barney and watch the show and read our Barney book every day.  You like "choo-choo's" and kicking and throwing balls.  You like jumping on the small trampoline"boline" and playing basketball. You love the marble run (and so do I) and playing with the toy kitchen.

Three days a week you go to school with Ms. Donna and enjoy being with Grace, Casey, and Phoebe- whose name you say constantly.  On Friday's you still go to the best school around, Uncle Mat school, and are not easily dragged away on Friday afternoon.  And, Tuesday is my day with you.  My favorite day of the week. The one day I know I get to spend some one on one time with you and I love it more each week even if it is sometimes overtaken by errands.

You have your little "tricks" that you like to do, probably because it makes us laugh.  When you want to watch Teletubbies you stomp your feet on the ground; if we tell you to be a gorilla you pound on your chest; or an elephant, you do a raspberry noise while moving your arm like a trunk.  You can be a monkey with an "ooh ooh aah" and a giraffe by blowing up your cheeks and sticking out your tongue, a face you learned from the Charlie Monkey book.  You know what a rooster says, and will imitate the "cock a doodle doo," always with a pointed finger in the air, and your "meow" sounds very much like a real cat.  But not all of your tricks are animal related. You can hang from the pull-up bar, and ask to do so regularly.  You like to play "whoa" which is jumping on and being pushed down on Turner's bed.  You like to hide in the cabinet of your dresser, ask me to close the door, then crack up laughing when we knock on the door and open it up.  Often when we open it you are using the cabinet bar as another pull-up bar.  You can dab, but you think to dab is to wave, and explode fist bumps and give high fives.  You love to watch your favorite shows in the same spot in the living room.  You take the black chair and knock it over and sit in between the leg bars.  Every time.  It is rather adorable.  You love to watch and to feed the Froggy and the Fishies and have made it a part of your bedtime routine.  You love the "Barney, Follow Me" book and will follow me as I follow Barney's moves.  Your favorite part is when we do "scared as can be" which we imitate by putting the tips of our fingers in our mouth as if we are shaking.  When you go to sleep, usually without much hassle, you insist on your blanket having the design side up, and I have to blow lots of kisses under the blanket and trap them so that they can tickle your cheeks all night while you sleep. And, every single car-ride includes you taking off your shoes and your socks and, many times, chucking them across the car!

Your television viewing spot

You often make us repeat our words by saying "Heh?" and then, when we do, and you finally get it, you smile and say, "oh!"  You love to say "BYE" very loud and wave your little hand.  You say "Daddy, Bye" in the morning as we head out to school and then give an elaborate and adorable "BYE" to all of the teachers at Bright Eyes when I pick you up.  You delight in your brothers, who always make you laugh, and they are enjoying this new stage you are in as you are responsive to their little tricks.  They recently told you to "go tell mom you pooped your pants" and in to the kitchen you came running "mommy, pooped pants."  These 3 words had your brothers in stitches, which made you not only crack up but repeat the sentence again and again.  You have learned the word "fart" and laugh when you hear one, or even just the word. You are quick to entertain and once you get a response of laughter from any of us you will continue your little act.  You do silly dances and make daring moves (like jumping from the glass table to the couch) and your brothers and their friends get an absolute kick out of you.  They've taught you to play knee hockey, only you don't have to get on your knees, and to try to play Xbox.  You've also learned golf from Uncle Mat and, you love trying to talk to Alexa.  She doesn't respond to you yet but you crack up when we tell her "Simon says Decker you are cute" and she says "Decker you are cute".  We repeat this game with many adjectives.  When Alexa plays the Barney song or the Mickey Mouse song your eyes widen as if it is a gift just for you.

You skip when you walk, which makes me skip also.  Your voice rises on the end of every word just making whatever you are saying sound so very happy (like the pocket of joy that you are!)  Your smile is refreshing and your eyes are bright but there is nothing better than your laugh.  You laugh with your whole body and crack up into hysterics and it is impossible not to crack up also.  You weigh in at 27.2 pounds and stand at 33 3/4 inches.  It isn't always easy being the 4th son in our house.  We are very busy, often on the go, and our days are filled with a certain level of chaos even when things are calm. You are sometimes forced to fend for yourself, and we will find you playing nicely, doing puzzles, coloring, or looking through books.  I'll see you, and wish that I could join you for longer than a moment, and feel a little sad when I walk away to do laundry, start dinner, help with homework, run a carpool, clean up the kitchen, or anything else that someone needs, but I am happy that you are independent and content and happy.  And, Decker, you should know that no matter what we are doing, how busy we may be, how loud things can get, how many errands we must run, that you are loved beyond measure every single moment of every single day.  You bring all of us joy and laughter and a sense of peace.  You are the embodiment of good things, of true things, of real happiness and love, and I am thankful every single day for what you add to our family, to our lives.  I do not take credit for the joy that you are but I am certainly proud to be your mommy.  I love you Decker and I can't wait to see what this year brings.

Growing into the birthday shirt

Decker with his brothers and his "other brother, DT" on the frozen lake

Typically it is steps, beds, chairs he jumps off of- this is nothing

He didn't make the shot but he is working on that form

The sound of laughter.  "GO!"

Decker's 1st birthday letter

Turner's 2 year letter
Chase and Ryder's 2 year letter

A Letter to my Son on his 18 Month Birthday!

Dear Decker,





18 months, happy.  Although it is true I don't get to write these letters monthly, or even quarterly, it is also true that every month that passes, passes by happy.

The thing about you being a year and a half is that it is one of the most difficult phases we must deal with as parents.  I say this even amidst the mouthiness of tween-agers and the social issues that come along with being in 5th grade.  It is possible that I am forgetting, for the moment, about three year old tantrums, but we will go with this phase being the most difficult, being that we are in it, for purposes of this letter.  You are everything I expected from a toddler, everything I remember your brothers being...only more.  You are a climber, a mover, a shaker, a toucher, a feeler, a jumper, a runner, and a literal button pusher.  You have a physical capability that is amazing, and though I have grasped your capability and have almost embraced it most people are scared to death when they see how you climb to the top of the jungle gym and stand on the end, or walk parking curbs like a balance beam.  You can unscrew lids, do zippers, open doors, and are working on the buckles of your car seat. You are unbelievably strong and can hold your own in a tug of war with daddy or I or any of your brothers.  You mimic their every move and have shadow practiced your baseball swing and throw, your hockey swing, even a frisbee toss.  You try to dribble a basketball and do so pretty well considering, well, that you are one.  You can throw anything with straight projection and good velocity and can do so with both hands.  And, you are one hell of a little soccer player; capable of dribbling with both feet, kicking mid-stride, and striking a ball directly into a goal which is always a followed with both hands in the air and a "yyyaaaayyy!"

To the masses it's your eyes, your curls, your face that gets noticed and, literally, stops admirers in their step.  And, there is no doubt, that your blue eyes are bright and shine from your happy soul; your curls are long, and flowing, and enviable; your face is soft and pretty and dimpled, but to all of us who know you we understand that those physical attributes are not what make you WHO you are. You are a light in a room, a bounce in a step, a rare blooming flower on a warm winter's day. You are made up of a blend of unique and wonderful joys, like the look of delight that settles on your face and your smile with each small accomplishment. You are the way you excitedly nod your head for even the most simple of Yes's. And, it is the way you throw your head back, with your mouth open, and give a full belly laugh that causes laughing fits to anyone around you.  It is your persistent need to do and to learn and your impeccable understanding of words you can not say.  It is the way you grab a hold of my hand and take me to where ever it is you want to be and the way you smile when you see someone you love and give "huggies" upon request.  It is the way that you applaud small joys. And how, at a call for kisses, you pucker up your lips and will grace whatever lips come your way or how you suck in your cheeks to pucker up for fishy kisses. It is your "heh?" that is repeated after everything that is said to you, that should be annoying yet, coming from you, is somehow cute even if it does make me question your hearing.  It is the way you lay your head on my shoulder when you're ready for bed and will tap your hand on my back as we sing through the "D-E-C-K-E-R" song.  It is your love for books and the way you grab a few and crawl onto my lap to read them.  And, it is your love for puzzles and your need to keep trying until you solve them.  It is how you follow your brothers around and watch everything they do, and even more, it is the way they are with you- how you can get them to stop, to quiet, and to embrace you even when they are mid-moment of boy hyper.  It's all of this that makes you Decker and, though I take no credit for these attributes (they were truly gifted to you,) I feel privileged every day to have an opportunity to watch you grow and help cultivate the personality that is brewing and the person you are becoming.


Decker, at one and a half, you love books, and balls, and bubbles, and iphones.  You can navigate my phone swiftly and easily finding your apps within your folder and swiping right through each game. Unforyunately, however, you will throw an absolute tantrum if we take it away from you.  You love the playground.  The swings always get you laughing and you can never get enough of the sliding board.  You like yogurt, love your milk, and love applesauce. You prefer to feed yourself with both spoon and fork (in spite of the mess that causes) and are improving with that skill each day.  You sleep well, and often times will point right to your crib when it is time to go to bed.  We will lay you down on your soft, blue blanket and you will outstretch your arms and grab the ends and pull them in to your chest to cuddle.  It is just the cutest thing I have ever seen, and quite funny, since you are not a cuddler...not at all.  No, you do not like to cuddle (though you are happy to give hugs) and don't really like to be held, as you want to be able to be moving and doing at all times.

We took away the iphone!

You have a few words you use regularly; more and milk (both said while also using the sign); ball, and book and dad.  You say "Ry-yer" which is what you call all 3 of your brothers (though you used to call all 3 "Seis".)  Most of the other words that you have said; yes, fish, banana, bubble, lawn mower, Turner, Mama, you use sparingly.  Much like I remember Ryder being at a similar age, you seem to learn a word and then store it in your mind. You will start to use them all, possibly at once, at a later date.  For now, you communicate quite well with a string of grunts and noises and points and always seem to get what you need.

At 18 months you weigh 24.4 pounds and are 32.5 inches long, though that length is inaccurate considering you wouldn't sit still long enough to measure. You are light but solid and strong.  Your muscles have a definition that many of us could only wish for and you are coordinated and graceful in your movements.

We are busy and often on the go.  Between work and school and activities I often feel I don't get enough time to just be with you and that is why I cherish the Tuesdays that we have together.  And, though Tuesday is my favorite day, as I get to be with you, I am pretty sure your favorite day is the time you spend with Uncle Mat! No matter how busy or how hectic our life can be,you are the calm in our storm, the light in our day.  You keep me on my toes and are always in to something and I can't wait to see what is to come as we go through the days together.

I love you so......

First day of school

By the lake

Your Friday's with Uncle Mat!

One day, you pointed and grunted at this picture of daddy and Cousin Jaime until I handed it to you. Once I did, you looked at it, pointed at daddy and said "Da" then you pointed at Jaime, looked at me, and gave Jaime a kiss.  You know who he is without ever meeting him!!!

Turner at 18 months

So, this is twin toddlerhood

Chase and Ryder at 18 months

BALL!

Turner said his first word. At least we think he did.  Me, Todd, my mom, we have all heard ball.  Repeatedly.  Sure, it could be Ba...a babbling sound all babies make.  But, we think, perhaps, he said ball about an actual ball. 

A letter to my sons on their 16th Month Birthday!

Dear Chase and Ryder,

Today you turned 16 months old!!! We changed the clocks back on Saturday and as a result you have been waking up a bit earlier these past few days. And so, our day began around 7:30am. Which was fine since we had to be at the doctor by 9:15 for your flu shots....on your 16 month birthday??? The amazing thing about this was your mild reactions. Chase you were first and you cried a bit when I put you on the table and then again after I put you back in the stroller, only because you wanted to be held. During the shot you let out a faint whine. You were so brave. Ryder you went second and it was as if nothing at all happened. You did not flinch, grimace, cry or anything, you just fought me going back into the stroller (as usual) and I let you walk. I was actually surprised by such non-reactions. Then we went off to gym where you both had more fun today than anytime we have ever been there. You were running, playing, climbing, laughing and managed to not spend the whole time at the stereo. Ryder that is your absolute favorite annoyance...playing with the stereo, at home, at the gym, anywhere, but today you seemed to enjoy other parts of the gym as well.
At 16 months I am astonished by how much you learn in a given day. Chase, you learn a new word everyday. Your list now looks like this:
Bubble
Pooh
Flower
More
Apple
A-Boo (as in Peek-a-boo)
Tickle
Dirty
Airplane
Nana (Banana)
Shoes
Hello
Hi
Daddy
Mommy
Melmo (Elmo)
Cookie
Buh (Balloon)
Ball
Shower
No
Doodie
Hi
Doctor
Animal
Doll

The last three were just added on recently. It is funny how you use certain words. You are always asking for apples, but when we give you one you usually do not want it. You use MORE for everything and sometimes I have no idea what you need or want more of. You say MELMO for Elmo, which is cute. Doctor you just learned today, since we were going and animal you learned over the weekend when we went to the zoo. It really does amaze me that tomorrow you will learn a new word.

Ryder, though you are not quite as verbal as your brother your list of words does continue to grow. You also say MORE for everything and NO is another of your favorites. You continue with your tendency to say a word perfectly then not use it too often but you have added NANA, PLANE, and HELLO to your daily talking. You now blow kisses, which I love, and it is not uncommon for you to stop what you are doing and walk up to me and give me a big hug!! That is one of my favorite things.

Chase you finally got a 5th tooth last week (top right next to center) and it looks like number six is close behind. Ryder you nearly have a mouthful. You have all of your molars now and are just waiting for the 4 eye teeth to come in.

You have both begun to use forks. Ryder you are really good at it and Chase you are improving daily. You seem to like eating with a fork or a spoon, though the spoon is still quite messy, though you have not grasped the concept of a plate. You both have the terrible habit of throwing food on the floor when you no longer want to eat. This is much to the dismay of daddy and I. You also enjoy drinking from regular glasses and using cups with straws. It seems you both like Iced Coffee.

You have learned to follow small commands. I recently asked Chase to get me the Hippo book, and you did, without hesitation. Daddy then asked Ryder for the So Big book, and it was retrieved. I have asked you to bring me your shoes, or to please put the books back, both of what you did. The books, however, we are still learning to put back properly. It is funny, after you follow these commands you will often applaud yourselves.

The few times when I have either of you one on one there seems to be a difference in your reaction to things. Particularly Ryder, who seems to be more responsive when it is one on one.

Chase your new favorite book is Blue Hat, Green Hat by Sandra Boynton. It is a silly book and it makes you crack up laughing. Ryder your new favorite book is Charlie Monkey but you always skip to the last page because when you open it the flies light up and buzz and you love that. You love books. You will both bring some over to me and ask me, without words, to read to you. We put you to bed at night with a book in your crib and if you are not ready to sleep you will look through it. You will also "read" it in the morning when you wake up. This is something I hope you hold onto and perhaps my love of reading (and both of your mom-mom's) will be passed on to you.

You now love to sit on the big chairs, like big boys. You climb right on up and sit at the table. Unfortunately, you also stand on the chairs and sit on the table both of which we tell you are unacceptable. It is really cute when you sit at the table, though. You also love your little table in the playroom. You will sit there to eat a snack, do a puzzle, or watch television. You also love to knock over the chairs, but fun is not fun without some destruction.

You love technology, especially Ryder. Things with buttons and lights hold your attention for long periods of time. You love the phone and the cell phone and when I give you the old one to play with you will both hold it to your ear and say hello. Ryder you will study the phone forever. You have an interesting perspective of toys, which are not so much to play with as to examine, perhaps to see how it works.

You both love peek-a-boo and now will hide yourselves (under crib, blanket, in a corner) and wait for us to find you.

We celebrated Halloween this month and it was a lot of fun. You loved wearing your costumes, enjoyed trick-or-treating, befriended a jack-o-lantern, and enjoyed a chocolate candy bar. You were a lion and a dragon and you each wore each costume, once for the parade then you switched for trick-or-treating.

We also went to DC this month where we spent time with our Citrenbaum cousins. You seemed to have a great time with them, as they did with you and we hope we will get to see them again soon.
Then we spent time with Sawyer (and his parents) and it was fun to see all of the kids together. In DC we went to the zoo, where you got to see some of your favorite animals. A zebra, an elephant, a lion, monkeys. It was a fun time had by all.

You both seem to be very dexterous and agile. At the playground you enjoy the swings, anything you can climb and coming down the slide, often head first. As expected, Ryder you have no fear at the playground and run to every piece of equipment and get right on it. Chase, although you enjoy most things and do them all well, you are a bit more tentative and it seems you may be scared of heights. Often when walking on planks you will hold on to the sides (or my hand) very tightly. You are very good at holding hands and walking, but Ryder we are still working on that. You have very little interest in holding my hand, or anyone else's.

Our activities continue, which keeps us quite busy. Although you both still enjoy music, your favorite part is sneaking out the door and running down the hallways. Ryder you must do this 10 times a class, Chase only about 6. Ryder, sometimes, you sneak out without my knowing. It does not ever take me long to notice you are gone, but you do manage to slip out the door unnoticed. Chase your favorite part of music class is when Miss Marilyn brings out the guitar, and at the end when she lets you strum it.

Although we did transition to one nap a day, lately it as been a bit messed up. You are taking morning naps the last few days (probably because you each have a cold) and it has been your only nap of the day. I am not sure if you would prefer 1 or 2, so we are still working on it. Although you continue to be good eaters, you have definitely lost some interest in a few things, particularly the vegetables. Everyone said it would happen. Chase you do love salad, however, and will eat it right from my fork when I am eating one and you both love edamame, which is one of mommy's favorites.

Life is fun, you are two good boys and we really do have fun all day. You laugh often, smile lots, and cry little. We are so blessed.

I love you so......
Mommy