The Tovsky Tribe

Chocolates, Cocktails, Friends, Babies...A Girl Should Never Have Just ONE!!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Girls Weekend

I read a friend's blog who wrote "I am no longer a complete person without them {her kids.}" Then she went on to say " I like to think I have a few more layers, but I can imagine how one-dimensional my life seems through the lens of this blog."
She's right. None of us believe we are one dimensional, and I suppose it does us some good to try to be as multi-dimensional as time will allow, but we are certainly not complete without our kids. Our children who dictate our where's and our when's, have morphed themselves so deeply into our "selves" that we become only a part of who we once were.

This past weekend I had a girls weekend at the Hershey Hotel. Jenn, Rachel and I decided to put our responsibilities as mommies (and in Jenn's case, VP of Loan Servicing) on hold for a whole 48 hours and just spend time being us, together. We felt (and luckily our husband's agreed) that this was not only much needed, but much deserved. We had a fantastic time. We were not on a schedule (aside from the 4:30pm Friday massages) and we had very few plans. We just did our thing. We woke up in the morning and read magazines, took our time, waited in line for breakfast, browsed in stores, got manicures. Before our trip there was minor concern from one party of how we would kill our time. I suppose when you are so used to being at the schedule of your children, used to the fact that free time means cleaning up or supermarket shopping, you wonder what on earth you would do with 48 hours to yourself. I am happy to report we had no problem passing time.
I am also happy to report that having never travelled together (which we did not realize until breakfast Saturday morning) that all 3 of us travel well together. Being good friends this does not seem weird, only sometimes the traveller in a friend can butt heads with the traveller in you.

Before we were parents, we were young adults, who led a life as selfish as possible. We did what we wanted, when we wanted, with whom we wanted. For me that meant a lot of time with friends, and lots of them, usually over dinner and drinks (lots of them, too.) It meant time with family, including my niece (since parenthood it has become niece's) and when I was with her it could be just me and her. It meant late nights, trips to coffee shops, bookstores, and the movies. It meant reading books, watching unnecessary television, and spending weekends away. And, as I write this and relish happily in those days, I do not wish to go back because now I know what would be missing....the joys parenthood has brought me!!
Yes, deep within my layers is the person I once was, with the interests and the passions and the free time. I like bringing out those parts of me, as I was fortunate enough to do this weekend. But, now, when I spend the time being me, I do not forget that the largest part of me, the part that completes me, are my kids. You can take a weekend (or longer) from the responsibilities, but you can not shed the layer that holds it all together. I am, however, already looking forward to the next girls trip.

For a posting on a similar subject, written a year and a half ago, click here.

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