A Hairy Situation

Ryder.   Ryder has always had a fashion sense.   From his costumes, to his ties, to his choice in shoes and belts, there was hardly a day that did not come with some sort of fashion war.  A war I believed was fought by girls. Over the years I have learned to handle his opinionated wardrobing and we have come to an understanding that makes our mornings much easier.  More often than not he wears what he wants and it will, without a doubt, have a unique look to it.  Down to the socks.  He actually does a very good job, and unique or not, he almost always looks handsome.

But, recently, Ryder has also grown obsessed passionate about his hair.  It began innocently enough choosing to gel his hair back on occasion to complete the Superman costume.   But the gel and the man of steel costume are no longer a package deal and most days Ryder spends a good portion of his morning routine in front of the mirror.  Wetting.  Gelling.  Combing. Parting.  Brushing.  Primping.

He is actually getting quite good at styling his mane and I can't say I am disappointed that he likes to look good, though I never dreamed I would raise a metrosexual.

But, things got interesting the other day when I received this part of an email from Ryder's elementary school teacher:

Well, today Ryder went into the bathroom, I thought he needed to go, and came out with his head soaking wet and soap in his hair. His shirt was wet as well so he went to the nurse to change shirt. He told me he wet his hair because he forgot to put gel in his hair today and he thought this would work. I talked to him about this and said that he looks great either with or without gel and that he can not do that again and we also agreed that if he forgets to put gel in that he has to leave his hair how it is. He was good about getting his work done and his focus was ok. But he did need a few reminders but he was a little distracted with his new shirt and wet hair.

For the record, Ryder told me about the incident BEFORE I received the email.  But, I was unsure of what he was actually saying until I read it in the teacher's words.  I admit it, I laughed at first.  I don't want to have a disrespectful kid, and I certainly am not raising a child to think that education is not important, but I laughed that he took the time to do his hair, in the bathroom, during class.   How could you not?  I am pretty confident that it wasn't Ryder's intention when he went to the bathroom.  Any one who knows him knows he pees.... A LOT.   Likely, he went to the bathroom to actually use the toilet, but when he looked in the mirror he was unhappy with how his hair looked.  So, he did something about it.  I am not sure when this hairanoia took over my kindergartners mind, but clearly he and I don't share THAT same gene.

I didn't let Ryder know how hilarious I found this situation, but I didn't pretend that he dumped an entire bottle of Walnut oil on the floor either.  Instead, I addressed the matter sternly but calmly and let him know that the classroom is not the time nor the place to do his hair (hold back the laughter,) that he should save his primping for home (tongue in cheek,) and that it is important he realize that everybody in the classroom is trying to learn and he has to respect their time as well.  Then I pulled the discipline card and told him that if he chooses, again, to disrupt the class with such hair antics that I will take him to Sarah Jane (our hair-dresser) and have her cut it all off.  SHORTER THAN TURNERS.  He said he didn't want that and I don't believe he was trying to cause a problem.  He also told me that Mrs. Delfini said that if it ever happened again he would lose his bathroom privilege, which would actually cause greater problems.

Truth be told, I can't guarantee it won't happen again.  He won't intend to, but, he will glance in the mirror and see an untamed cowlick or an uneven part and there will be no telling what will happen next.  Hopefully, it won't involve flooding out the bathroom.