Bikini Body

I don't think I ever really had the perfect body for a bikini. Maybe that is being kind, I know I did not. Despite this self awareness, I did always wear them anyway. Sure, at times I was a little insecure that my belly, yet to be inhabited by my spawn, lacked the washboard look and instead resembled more of a kangaroos pouch. But, I did not let that stop me, afterall a tanned muffin top is better than a stark white one. In times of need, perhaps during the periods when additional weight decided to spend the summer around my middle, I had the tankini. The tankini had almost the coverage of a one piece, but the ease of a two piece. It has been the answer many times before, but is it now?
You see my belly, in addition to the muffin top appearance it had even in my best of shape, now carries an additional two digit number in post-partum weight. And, even as I continue to lose it (though not on this trip,) the marks and stretching evidencing my recent pregnancy resemble the peel of a watermelon and must be hidden. So, a one piece suit became a mandate for my sunbathing. I was fine with this, I found a few I liked and was ready to wear them. But the problem, I realized, the reason why two piece suits are far superior to one piece suits has little to do with tan lines or sex appeal and everything to do with the bathroom. Going to the bathroom in a one piece suit, particularly a wet one, makes even the quickest of pees a complete pain in the ass. Yes, having to go the ladies room is the reason I must find my way back to a bikini, or at least a tankini. Will these stretch marks ever fade enough?