The Tovsky Tribe

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Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Letter to my Son on his 4th Birthday!

Dear Turner,




Today you turn 4 years old.   For a boy who never really seemed to be a baby, it is hard to believe you are now 4 years old.

At 4, the first word to come to mind to describe you is ADORABLE.  Absolutely, completely, and totally adorable.  Your cute factor overflows every day in the way you laugh, dance, smile, sing, and speak.  In the way you do just about everything.  It is your adorableness (is that even a word?) that precedes you into a room and follows you out, leaving all who were with you feeling happy after being doused with a dose of adorable!


And, though this is the first word to come to mind, it would be unfair and inaccurate to say it was the only word because, Turner, you are so much more.  You are kind.  Kind in a  way most 4 year olds don't know how to be, yet.  Kind in a way that I can only hope does not fade with age.
You are smart.  Street smart.  You seem to know everything there is to know, except for letters and numbers.  Really, but I'll get to that.  Anything we've discussed or done before is engrained in your mind, not just as it happened, but with a level of understanding that allows you to grasp the concept.  You understand tone, from sarcasm to anger, and are quick to tell and to get a joke. You have an extensive vocabulary, perhaps mimicked from daddy and I, but always used correctly.  You use words like, "consequently" and "actually" and "perhaps" and phrases like "Would you be so kind" and  "Speaking of which."  You use all of this in proper context leaving me dumbfounded each time.  Turner, you are also very competent in the things you do, once you learn it, and you  never do more than your own confidence allows. You'll always be able to fend for yourself which, though I still do for you, helps me rest easier at night.

You are also a caring friend and brother, aware of the needs of those around you.  You are thoughtful and sincere.  And, somehow, whether learned from Chase or innately stamped, you can negotiate your way through any discussion.  You are happy, and more than anything else you love to sing and to dance.  You claim yourself as a "rock star" and will perform just about anywhere, to any audience.  Whether it is at home for us, out in public, at a restaurant, your brothers sporting events.   You love to turn up the volume on your voice and start swinging those hips!!  It is enjoyable to watch.  You also love to watch  live music.  We've been places where a band has played and you watch with delight, and dance, and not pay attention to anyone around you.



You love school, your teachers, your friends, the activities you learn, and you always come home happy and reporting your days activities.  Your closest friends from school are Jagger, of course, Bram and Manny, though you are very well-liked by all of your classmates and are ALWAYS greeted at the doorway by each and every one of them.   Though when Aliyah looks at you it is clear she is smitten, and that is the same exact look you give to Avery.  You love Miss Robin and Miss Beth, and they love you right back.

You played soccer this year and seemed to enjoy it, though you enjoy most things.  I am sure it helped that Sawyer and Jagger were both on your team.  Although your competency at the sport is decent, you are unable to grasp the concept that you should steal the ball from the other players, kick it away from them, try to score a goal, etc.  You are the nice guy on the field, giving the ball kindly to the first person who "asks".  This makes me laugh.

getting a soccer medal


You potty trained a year ago.  Mostly.  Since you have trained, you have been pooping in a diaper.  A year, Turner.  Do you know how crazy that is? You do, in fact, since when you have to poop you'll say, "mommy, I know it's crazy but I have to poop, I am getting a diaper."  You get your own, as I refuse to do it for you in hopes of converting you to the toilet.  I also use cold and wet paper towels to wipe you.  I never carry diapers in public, hoping that at some point you'd have to go in public and just use the toilet.  So far, no such luck.  You have total control over the situation.  No bribes have worked and I may just have to wait until you are ready. But, still, IT HAS BEEN A YEAR.

I am not sure of your height and weight, and yes, I know I should be, but I can tell you are bigger than average, bigger than your brothers were at the same age and not smaller than most of your friends.   This is how third children are measured, Turner, not by inches and pounds or anything exact, just by the markings on the wall in comparison to those around you.  It's true, T, 3rd children, it's less monitoring and book keeping, fewer pictures and blog posts, more just being and enjoying and not worrying about statistics.   I was a third child, too.

You still love your bay-bay and are not willing to part with him, though your attachment to him is like one to a friend.  You want bay-bay with you, but don't get too upset if he is not.  He is still soft and in proper condition, which is amazing with the way he has been dragged around.  Yes, we refer to your blankie as bay-bay, and yes he is a he.

This year we had a trip to the E.R., for a set of staples, and a near broken finger slammed in the door, accidentally, during an intense game of hide-n-go-seek while spending time at the shore with the Fink's and the Betesh's.  You, unsurprisingly, were a great patient both times while I nearly broke out in tears just from seeing you in pain.

For your fourth birthday party we had, at your request, a rock star party.  It was great fun, your cake was a red electric guitar, and you did put on a show for all of your friends and we gave out a CD of all of all of your favorite hits.  You love to be Austin Moon and singing is definitely your favorite pastime.  You love clothes.  Not in a metrosexual way, but you love to choose "performing" outfits and often choose clothes that have an edge.




video
Watch Turner Perform!

You love school and are always on your best behavior.  You have no interest in learning your numbers and letters at this time.  Many of your peers are starting to grasp all 26, yet you continue to just know T for Turner and J for Jagger.  Miss Robin says not to concern myself, and I guess I won't, since I am pretty sure you know everything else in the world.  One day, out of nowhere, you will ramble off the letters and start reading words, but it is amazing that you have no interest at all.

You and your brothers have a unique and wonderful brotherhood.  A friendship if you will.  They never hesitate to include you, you never hesitate to be included, and you are also not afraid to take the lead with them.  For this I know I am fortunate.  When they are with their older friends you will join them, but never do anything you are not sure you are capable of.  Sometimes, you will just be in the room with them, watching, listening, learning.  One day, probably not too far from now, you will jump right in to their big boy game and you won't miss a beat.  That's just how you are.  You absorb everything around you and wait until you are ready to do most things.






Turner, it will sound crazy when we read back on this years from now, it won't be believable I am sure, that at 4 years old you have an amazing way of affecting people.  But, this is absolutely true.  I don't say this as your biased mother.  No, I say this as both a witness to this effect and as one of the affected.  I say this, also, in response to the words of all those who have witnessed or been affected by your good spirit,  Anyone who meets you loves you.  Your smile and delightful way are absolutely contagious.  You bring out the best in people from your friends to your brothers to me.  Your classmates tend to share better, behave better, and laugh more in your company, making you a popular choice for play dates, even for the most difficult child, who is always less difficult around you.  I admit I am beyond proud of the boy that you are, the kind and sweet soul, who is also funny and real.  But, mostly, I am simply amazed by you.  There really are few boys like you and I am astonished by your inherent good nature and your humble yet confident way. I hope that you are always this way and that life and time doesn't alter the wonder of your core.


Before I know it you will be 5, then 15, then 25.  Time will go faster than I want it to and I will regret the moments that I told you to wait, then to hurry, to sit down then to get up.  I will regret telling you you are too heavy to hold when asked to be carried knowing that before I am done blinking you'll be big enough to carry me.  I don't know everything, perhaps I don't know much, but I do know that every moment in my days with you, Turner, are enjoyable and happy and memorable.  Time will go quickly, but these moments seem timeless.  At least for now.


I wish you the happiest of birthdays and the best of years.  I wish for you to always be the wonderful boy that you are.  That you are always so happy about such simple things and that your laugh and your smile remain infectious.


Read about your 3rd~


I love you so....

mommy
xoxo

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