The Tovsky Tribe

Chocolates, Cocktails, Friends, Babies...A Girl Should Never Have Just ONE!!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Six Months with Three

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with Turner. I was blown away. I was a bit surprised, very excited, and I admit, I was scared. Perhaps scared is not the right word, nervous. Yes, I was nervous. I will be the first one to say I always wanted three kids, in fact, I wanted four but that is for another story. I pushed for a third child not unaware that I would be complicating our lives.
When I saw the two lines I was beyond thrilled for my growing baby. As my heart beat faster in delight it would, occasionally, also skip a beat in fear. Holy cow, how on earth would I handle three kids under three?
When Chase and Ryder were born I was told by many to get through the first six months and things would get much easier. Interestingly, be it the first time mom high, or the few years younger self, or even the thrill of knowing we had overcome so much to get that far, I did not find the first six months of thier life all that difficult. (Ask me about twin toddlerhood, and well, it is a different answer.) But, still, when that six month marker came I felt the need to say, "OK, we did it!"

Here we are six months into life with three and things are a bit different this go round. Turner is an angel of baby. I call him "my angel" because he is as laid back, easy-going and as flexible as they come. He laughs and smiles all of the time, despite minor neglect, a schedule dictated by his brothers, and form of love from Chase and Ryder that borders abuse.
But, happy baby aside, life with three young kids is even more hectic than I had initially been nervous about. Even more hectic than life with twinfants. Someone always needs something, always. Sitting only happens at night and by then it is more of an exhausted crash into the first safe and soft piece of furniture that my body passes. Chaos is just a natural part of our day, promptness is impossible, an absurd level of hectic is the new bar for normal, and until the recent potty training, the number of diapers we went through in a day was higher than my children can count. I have to find the time to squeeze in a shower, and I have not cooked a meal in way too long. I probably have not returned your phone call nor your email, and I mean to, both are probably sitting in the "saved message box" waiting for my first five minutes free. Waiting.

But, so what? All of this is just a hiccup, a minor hurdle into the rest of our lives. There was a time when I took a shower everyday, which was nice, but then I did not have a daily dose of a child's love.
Believe me, there are days when I crave nothing more than some "me" time and from the outside it may sound like walls are crumbling, but along with all of this chaos comes much more laughter, and much more love!

I have always felt honored to be a mom to twins. The relationship and dynamic of twins, or at least of my twins, is thrilling and interesting to watch, and irreplaceable. It was also all that I knew until January. Now, I know that the dynamic between older and younger siblings, at least my older and younger siblings, is thrilling and interesting and irreplaceable, as well. Only different.
I love watching as Chase and Ryder encourage Turner as he tries to crawl or sit up. They clap and they cheer and look at him proudly, as only a mentor could. True, Chase and Ryder encourage each other as, together, they learn new skills, and that too is heartwarming. But, they watch their brother through older, wiser eyes and you can see them wanting to teach, to help, to be a big brother!!
Turner looks up to his big brother's in every way. He laughs when they are in the room, no matter what they are doing. Of course, his laughter is the catalyst for a room full of hysterics because Chase and Ryder want to keep making him laugh so they act silly and before you know it we are all doing the crazy dance in our underpants. He wants to be where they are which is igniting his spark to crawl and as long as he is in the same room as them he will endure the smothering of hugs and kisses, the loud screams of excitement, and the occasional bop on the head. All of this, often, while skipping a nap.
We are climbing a mountain right now, we knew the beginning would be a hands full while tied in knots type of chaos. And, it is.
Want to come over? The door is open, but watch the toy in the middle of the floor! The house is messier, the laundry is unfolded, and if you need a plate we, apparantly, now store them in the dishwasher. It is clean, just unloaded.

Perhaps all of this has nothing to do with the three little kids and everything to do with the time management skills of the person in charge of it all? But, if you had a choice between folding laundry or playing a game of tickle monster with three adorable boys, what would you choose?

1 comment:

Pierce-ville said...

One of the best things you've ever written. I hear you loud and clear girl! And I can't even imagine. Love to you all. R