A Letter to my Son on his 11th Birthday! (Chase)

Dear Chase,

Happy 11th!

11. I don't know. It doesn't seem possible, yet it is.  You've always carried yourself with a certain maturity- an old soul you've been called time and again- and, recently the extra inch of growth and meat on your bones :) (55 inches and 73.6 pounds,) means you now look and act very much like tween that you are.  Whether I want to believe it or not.

We celebrated your birthday in many fun ways.  You went to camp and then after we went to see the opening day premiere of Spiderman Homecoming in the highest audio and video quality possible, thanks to Uncle Rob.  (Sidenote: Uncle Rob has a similar passion for both superheroes and technology as Ryder does.)  Quinn joined us for this movie as well as dinner.  We all loved it. The next day, after sleeping in (it's hard to be 11) and some swimming, we took a small handful of yours and Ryder's friends to Treehouse World, where you played Archery Tag (awesome!); Rock Climbed up very tall trees, and ran through a park filled with tree houses, swinging bridges, and rope swings.  It was a fun day.  Then, we had the usual suspects spend the night.  On Sunday, we celebrated your birthday and Pop-Pop's with the whole family.  It was wonderful.

Spiderman: Homecoming

Archery Tag

Since you were an infant, back when your large dimples were bigger than your preemie face, you've had a way of demanding our attention- without ever demanding. An infectious smile, a contagious laugh, and a magnetic charm have always drawn people to you, and still do. You are funny and clever and can be silly when you want to be but you also have a natural ability to carry on intelligent and meaningful conversations with anyone.  You can teach and explain to those you know more than and can contribute while learning when talking to adults.You present yourself as well-mannered, beguiling, and sagacious.  And, yes it is true, you are all of these things, so it makes us laugh (and sometimes pull our hair out) that you can be rather dense at times.  Completely unaware of what is going on around you, or not completely sure where you put your jacket or your shoes.  We joke you live in a Chase bubble, and in many ways it is true.  But it is not a selfishness that keeps you there, rather it is a sincere hyper-focus on the things that are important to you.  Whether it is your school work, your sports, your magic tricks, whatever it is, you want to be the very best at it and will work hard until you find a success with which you are satisfied.

At the very top of this list is hockey.  Your love for the sport goes beyond the game itself.  You want to play all of the time.  If you're not playing on the ice then it is on the street.  Or on the X-Box.  Or, watching others play it.  You want to get better.  You want to do great.  You want to win.  And, though you don't always get the W, you have been doing well and getting better each year with the sport.  This year, your second year playing on a club team, you were awarded with MVP of the team.  This made you so proud, as it did us.  But, even more than earning the MVP, your season was a highlight of the year, if not your hockey life, because you had great coaches who taught you the game, and a great team, where you made real friends and formed friendships that will last a lifetime, even if you are not teammates.  In addition to hockey, you still play baseball and guest play for your old soccer team any opportunity you have.  You love to compete and we love to watch you play.

You have a dynamic personality and are well-liked by your peers.  You tend to hold tight to your best friends and keep them close.  Ethan tops the list and falls in to the brother category.  Connor remains as your best friend since 2nd grade and the friendship you two have fostered is really wonderful.  Quinn may have started as a hockey friend but he has also become one of your very best friends and you work to maintain your friendship in spite of not going to school together.  As well as Luke, who your bond with hasn't dulled even though you are no longer teammates and go to different schools.  I am very proud of the friend that you are.  You are smart, and you are funny.  You can be silly or clever or witty and are always up for telling or hearing a good joke.  You are a good kid who likes to follow the rules (though not always at home) and though you're still learning the ropes of the world it is evident you want to be the best you can be while remaining humble and respectful to all.

Ethan

Connor

Connor and Ethan

Quinn and Luke

In school, as in most places, you have found so much success. Your 5th grade year with Mr. Benson was one of your favorites and Mr. Benson ranks as your favorite teacher.  You maintain very good grades and want to do well and most of it seems to come easy for you.  I hope you continue to thrive, continue to learn, and continue to succeed. At school, you were chosen by the teachers as part of the Conflict Mediator group (though I have yet to learn what you really do for this) and you were a part of Student Council on the Service team. You were in the 5th grade chorus and in the school play and stay involved with Richboro Elementary. You find many ways to succeed within the school walls.

Beyond sports your interests vary.  You like magic, and biking, and fishing.  You like to climb trees and play tag and shoot hoops.  You like to learn about crimes and solving them and you have a fascination for storms.  You scour YouTube for pranks, and for jokes, and for puzzles and riddles and enjoy trying to solve them.  Your favorite TV shows are Survivor and America's Got Talent and you are always up for a good comedy like the Goldbergs.  You like 21 Pilots and a lot of the pop songs on the radio but music is not your real passion.  Instead, you focus on the Flyers!  The Eagles, Phillies, and Sixers can hold your interest as well.  You like to be connected to things that are going on amongst your peers and you always seem to have one ear listening to the adult conversations around you.


This year we celebrated Delaney's bat mitzvah.  This year you had your first camping trips, the first being with Ethan and Ryder and GP, the second two being with our family and some friends.  You went on journeys on your bike, through Tyler and the neighborhood, and fishing trips that lasted all day long.

Delaney's Bat Mitzvah

In the tent on the first camping trip

Your tenth year was an overall great year, you've grown and matured and are really becoming quite the gentleman. Our life gets a bit hectic, and we are all trying to manage an abundance of different personalities.  Sometimes we disagree and that is ok and,since you are a master negotiator, your point of view often carries a lot of weight.  I know we often expect a lot from you but, Chase, we do not expect more than you can handle.  In fact, we could probably demand more and get it.  Because your capabilities are beyond even what you realize.  Your talents are still being uncovered. Chase, I am your biggest supporter.  If I am pushing you it is because I know you can do it and I believe in everything you can be.  You are kind, you are smart, you are funny, and you're talented.  Use your strengths to do good in the world, lead by example, and set forth towards positive things.  I am always proud of everything that you are and my belief in you is limitless for everything and anything that you want to do or be. I hope you know that in my moments with you, the conversations that we have, the laughs that we share, the games that we play,  along with these same moments with your brothers and daddy, are the most cherished moments in my life.  I am so very proud that you're my son.
Happy 11th birthday, Chase!  I love you so.

10th birthday letter

In the tent on our first camping trip

Wildwood

Beach Blast medal winners

Brothers

Boulder Field

Happy birthday to my favorite twins

Growing in to the birthday shirt

birthday interview

A look at Age 2

This is each of the boys at age 2.  Not necessarily in life, but in these 4 photos I see Chase and Decker looking similar and Ryder and Turner.  What do you see?

Camping, Biking, and Poison Ivy

Chase and Ryder had the very fortunate opportunity to go camping with Ethan and his grandfather, lovingly known as G.P.  The Van Aken's are a very outdoorsy family; biking, hiking, kayaking, camping, it is all a part of their normal, everyday lives.  I love all of those things and wish they were a part of my everyday life but that is certainly now how neither Todd nor I were brought up.  But, we are more than thrilled to get to experience these things, and more so, allow the boys to do them, with our very dear friends.  So, when this opportunity came about, for Chase and Ryder to camp- for the first time- with Ethan and G.P., everyone was very excited.

I do not consider myself nor Todd to be helicopter parents by any means and I believe we give them a decent amount of rope.  I feel strongly that kids need real life experiences in order to learn.  With that being said, however, it took a big gulp of "holy shit" for me to be at ease with the fact that they were going away for 4 days, camping for the first time, with a grandfather who doesn't know them too well, to "about 50 miles North of Harrisburg" without a cell phone to check in with.  Even with the big gulp I was never fully at ease but since I trust Jenn fully with our kids and she trusts G.P. I relaxed and was just simply excited for them.  And, off they went. With a long list of medicine dosings (for Ryder, mostly) in hand and cooler full of easy to prepare food they set off on August 8th for what would become the second of their 10th year of life memories (the first being the birthday bash) and their first parentless journey.

We got lucky because Bryce's phone was left home since he was at overnight camp so the boys took his phone with the strict instructions of using it to text us and call us each night and to send us the occasional selfie.

We did hear from them each night and all 3 boys sounded great each time.  Though the phone calls were brief and not very detailed (We went fishing.  We took a bike ride!) they all sounded happy, healthy, and like they were having the best of times, the way best friends should. They even told Turner they missed him and he should come next time, which made him so very happy (and, me too!) Jenn and I were thrilled.  We also received what Jenn and I consider to be the best selfie ever of the 3 smiling boys.

Wednesday night, their last night away, we got a call as always, an "I love you," and a "we will see you tomorrow" before hanging up.  But, after the call I received a text of a photo of Chase's bare tush, with the words, Chase has poison ivy on his butt.  After they sent it,the phone died, so they never answered my question of "Is this real or are you boys just sending me a full moon?"

Turns out, it was real.  When Chase got home I learned he took nature by storm and used leaves for all sorts of things; including a poison ivy leaf to wipe with.  The poor kid had a poison ivy outbreak in hard to reach places that caused him some good discomfort but was also quite funny.  I mean, how could you not laugh at that?  Even Dr. Abir found it amusing.  Chase was a sport about it.  He knew it was funny even though he couldn't stop itching.  And, now that it is healing nicely, we are all having a pretty good laugh.

Their stories of their time away  were about biking, including some reckless downhill off-roading that had Chase falling off his bike and faceplanting (luckily not into a patch of poison ivy) and Ryder nearly falling off a cliff, both of which were the highlight of Ethan's trip. There were stories about catching lots fish, including Ryder's 16inch fish which was the highlight of his trip (and the new fishing rod that G.P. bought him.) And, the cats that nearly lost one of their nine lives by crossing through the boys' reckless bike path.  And,of course, stories about taking dumps outside.  They made fire and roasted food; they made their own lunches (it's a miracle) and they stayed up late in their very own tent (G.P. had his own tent next to theirs) telling stories and laughing uncontrollably.  I would say that is one successful camping trip.

Thank you so much to G.P. and all of the Van Aken's for their kindness.

A letter to my sons on their 10th Birthday!

Dear Chase and Ryder,

 

Double digits. A decade. Two whole hands. The start of tween-age-dom. There are many names for this milestone but they all mean the same thing; TEN.

Ten. It makes me shiver. An eye-popping, head-scratching, let me re-check my math type of shiver. I can double and triple check but, the fact remains, my double first born are ten.  And, by looking at you, talking to you, knowing you, there is just no denying it.

As I write this letter, 5 of you (Turner and Ryder fell asleep before the fort transfer) are cuddled up in a fort for a sleepover party; the aftermath of a 17 boy birthday celebration with swimming, gaga, trampolines, and man hunt.  The party was great, albeit loud, and a true indicator of the great kids that you have both chosen for friends.  Although, I admit, I like hearing the laughter and the chatter and the discussion of girls, it truly is time for bed!!!

Last year, I commented on how 9 brought so many things but, most substantially, it marked the halfway point of your childhood.  Which means that this one, and every one from here on out, takes us, takes you, further from your childhood.  As your parent, that reality is baffling and also makes me a bit weepy.

 

Ryder, my sensitive superhero, every day you grow bigger, stronger, taller. Your shoulders are broad and your back is vast.  Your feet are bigger than mine though I do still have you by just a few inches in height...for now. I can't lift you, not even close, but you can and do lift me.  At 97 pounds and 56 inches you are solid as a rock and you're my go to for help carrying heavy things or moving furniture. You love that you have the strength required to help.  For all of your brawn, however, you're this deeply sensitive guy with an imagination and a creativity that can only be described as kinetic. Your body, your mind, your thoughts, your imagination are always, always in motion.  You've developed into an extremely self-aware and confident kid and you are comfortable with the person you are and are becoming. You're not afraid to be your own person and you recognize the wonderful in your very unique talents. You are thoughtful and passionate and, really, you are who you have always been, just more mature and more secure in your being. 

Fourth grade was a year of growth. You had an amazing teacher in Mrs. Carey and an awesome class. You embraced new friendships and cultivated deeper relationships with existing friendships. You've learned that you can be different than someone and still have a lot in common with them and you learned that  true friendship can be found where you least expect it. You've come to realize that you are one of the boys despite being your artsy self.   And, the boys are lucky to have you, because when it comes down to the nitty gritty of what being a real friend is there are not a lot out there that are better than you.  I hope you see the value in being a "true friend."  It makes me very proud.

Of all the things that you are at the top of the list is big brother.  You are absolutely amazing with Decker and he responds to you in kind.  You just seem to "get it" when it comes to a baby, or maybe you just get him. Either way, he adores you and you him and I know I can always count on you to care for him. You love him like you love most things, with passion and devotion and loyalty; that's just who you are.

           

As we begin this new decade I am hopeful to see you become more responsible, more thoughtful before acting, a little less impulsive.  I would like to see you dedicate yourself, through your talents and passions, to trying and being the best you can be at whatever it is you're doing.  Whether it is school work, art work, friendship, or daily chores- put your super large heart into it and just try and be the best you can be.  My faith in you is unwavering and my support is unconditional. Your possibilities are limitless, like your creativity, and I hope your desire catches up. 

You played basketball again this year, for Coach Bill again, and really enjoyed it. You improved a lot and did a great job on defense.  You enjoy playing and you practice often and I know you will continue to get better and better.  You also took Bass lessons at school and did great performing at the Spring Concert.  Your favorite color is still red. You've fallen in love with skateboarding and have embraced it and practice as often as you can.  You are trying to understand the sport from the bottom up.  Boards, building them and taking part, all the way up to the tricks of the trade. You love to read, are a YouTube phanatic, and love the band Green Day. You love television. You could watch all day if we would let you. And, though you are far less of a gamer than you used to be, you're still an electronics junkie whose face is often in my iPhone. Snapchat. Instagram. Musical.ly. FaceTime. Group chat.  I could go on.  You've become very social and outgoing and tell stories with detail and excitement. You took a drawing class and did well and your talent is just blossoming. Your closest friends are Ethan and Connor and Jake and Aidan. And, of course, you're still close to Joey and Ryan. 

 

I can't wait to see what this year brings. 

 

Chase- my determined and disciplined superstar- you have grown taller and stronger (64 pounds and 54 inches), though you are still quite lean, and your back has broadened indicating a slow to come growth spurt that certainly has taken you out of the "smaller" category. Your lean body is pure muscle and your hands and feet move quickly and gracefully.   You are agile and fast both physically and mentally and have a heart that fuels itself on desire and competition.  Although you have recently lowered your own bar (just a bit) you still want to be the very best you can be at almost everything.  You are willing to work and to practice and to keep on trying until you master whatever it is you have set your mind on.  That discipline has served you well, most recently it was with the Rubik's cube that you vowed to solve.  And solve you did. I still don't understand how you can use ten different fingers to rotate each of the layers in many different directions at once, nor do I get how to solve it, but none of that matters. You can and do solve it swiftly and easily and continue to practice to do it better, faster. I hope this inner desire to win and the discipline to work continues to grow within you and keeps you striving for success.

4th grade was a good year for you in many ways.  Originally disappointed that most of your buddies were not with you in class, you were able to accept new friendships and came to realize that different people have different and wonderful things to offer.  You were impressed by your classmates smarts, or different hobbies, or silly personalities and accepted with your typical charm that not everyone loves sports. Mrs. Jaggers seemed to be a good match for you in the classroom (not to mention that she is Meg's best friend, a little fact that makes me happy!) and you excelled in almost all subjects. You were excited to learn, took it seriously, and as you do, tried to be the very best student you could be.  You love math, your skills in the subject have really taken off, and it won't be long before I will be completely unable to help you.  Luckily, you won't need much help in that area.

This year you traded your soccer cleats for ice skates and spent your first full season on a travel ice hockey team.  You missed soccer a bit, and were fortunate enough to play as a sub on many occasions, but overall hockey was a wonderful experience.  In addition to playing great hockey and improving your game, you made terrific memories and even better friends.  You are a very good hockey player and you love the sport and it shows in every way every time you are on the ice.  I am confident that you will continue to improve and develop as you play more and more.  You also had another enjoyable season of baseball.  For in-house you played for Coach Steve on the Falcons in the American League, which had you playing up with kids up to 12 years old.  For travel you played for Coach Steve as well.  This year's Bombers team had a lot of new (to you) kids on it and gave you an opportunity to play with some new boys and make some friends.  You played 1st base for the Bombers, which was a new experience.  Although you missed playing shortstop a bit more regularly, you embraced first base and played it very well.

 
Your favorite color is currently orange, which is no coincidence that it is the Flyers color. You love all Philly teams especially the Phillies and the Flyers. You like movies and magic and telling jokes. You're quieter than you were when you were younger, you keep more things close to your chest. You are still social, though less so, and continue to have a charming way about you.  Your closest friends are Ethan and Connor. In this new decade I hope that you can be a little neater and a little more thoughtful when it comes to the people and things around you. You have a tendency to get caught up in "Chase's bubble" and forget there's a big world out there.  You are a very smart kid who doesn't always think things through and I am hoping your tenth year can bring you a bit more of that and a bit more responsibility.  Childhood is for fun and memories and for learning so that you can be a responsible and respectable adult.  I want you to enjoy your childhood, as you are, and I want you to embrace the opportunity to learn.  I have no doubts about what you are capable of and I have a faith in you that can't be questioned.  I will always support you and I have no doubt of the success that will follow you.  I am so excited to see what this year brings you.

 
Everyday is an adventure with the two of you, the four of you, really; loud, hectic, often smelly and usually silly.  I love every minute of our life and I am beyond proud of both you, each of you, all of you.

You make me proud every day and I hope to continue to guide you so that you can make yourselves proud as well.

I love you so....
mom

Growing into the birthday shirt

Almost bigger than the birthday shirt

The 9 year old letter

You Say Ya Want a Revolution

After a year of begging, and a year of Rec hockey, Chase has given up soccer to play ice hockey.  He is on Philadelphia Revolution Squirt White and is loving every minute of the "cool" sport.

He has improved dramatically in just these first two months and I am excited to see where he ends up by season's end.

He is an offenseman who shuffles between right wing and center.  He is learning to skate better, is making new friends, and is having a blast.  Here's to a great season!  Let's go Rev!

Hockey Tough