The Tovsky Tribe

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Monday, May 1, 2017

I'm 42 and This is My Birthday Letter

Somehow it is time for another birthday.  It doesn't come with too much emotion as 42 in and of itself offers about as much excitement as 41 did.  It does, however, come with a slight tinge of stress in knowing I have to carve out time to write another birthday letter:)  Another to-do, sigh!

I would say that, overall, life is on an incline.  It may be slight, and it may be gradual, but I probably couldn't handle it any faster or steeper anyway.

This past year I devoted a lot of time, A LOT OF TIME, to studying for the Series 6 exam.  It was a lesson in time management as well as in Securities.  I passed on my first try.  I never imagined this is where I would find myself in terms of a career but an opportunity presented itself and I decided to act on it.  I am happy I did. I like my job and welcome the idea of doing more, being more, having more.  As a result, I have been working a lot more this past year and I have been enjoying carving out this little piece of the world just for me.  Although the longer days make for more complicated early evenings, I do enjoy working and building towards something that I am earning, however small it may be.

We are kept ever so busy by the boys' lives.  Between the sports, and the activities, and the parties, and the sleepovers, there is very little downtime.  There is very little quiet.  Although I do get a bit frustrated by the volume at which everyone seems to exist, I do enjoy the noise- the signs of life and happiness- that fill my house and my ears.  And, though the schedule is not one for the faint at heart, I absolutely love watching the boys play their sports, play with their friends, and develop their personalities.

Todd and I have been going out socially much more often and it has been good for us.  We are social beings and it is helping us to find a balance by having some time that belongs to us and some more time together.

As my early 40's settle in to itself,  I have acclimated to this stage of my life with acceptance (even if I am in a bit of denial about the number!)   Each stage of life has its own unique qualities that define it.  This stage, being Mom first, and everything else second, is as fleeting as all of the other stages that are already passed and are missed.  I know this, and so I embrace it, endearingly, each for what they are, and for the mark they are making on my life, on my memory.  Moments in life are defined by the factors that surround it and, more importantly, the people that surround you.  Every birthday letter I write indicates how similar things are and,yet, how different.  Changes are fluid, albeit slow. Times are high, times are low, and strength seems to come disguised as pain.  I have learned that when you look back, the tough times were not so bad, and even if they were, you usually can't remember. And, you survived.  And, here you are.  And, the high times were there too, all along.  If you don't stop, take a breath, and look around yourself every now and again, you could miss it.  All of it. You could miss that ephemeral moment of magic that didn't seem to be quite what it was until it was in the rear-view mirror.  The magic of your toddler's laughter that is sandwiched between too many dirty diapers and crib jumpings.  The magic of your tween's smile and his confession of needing you wedged tightly between his stubbornness and his attitude.  The magic of your sons thoughtfulness hidden amongst his persistent whine. The magic of your husband's touch as you pass each other, hectically, in opposite directions.  The magic of love that bounces off the deafening sounds and fills the room.   I don't want to miss the magic, so I follow the flow of the moments I am presented with and do my best to be the best I can be on any given day.

Over the years it seems that the core of who I am has gotten a little blurred by the clouds of stress and life.  Either that or age has changed me.  Perhaps it is both.  But, when I close my eyes and not try to see it but, instead,to feel it, it can all become quite clear.  And, I should enjoy it while it is clear, because it may not always be.

The weekend was a fun start to what I hope is a great year.  Friday night, though not birthday related, we had a great night out enjoying a cooking demonstration with great friends.  I love cooking demonstrations, and the company, and unlimited wine.  It was a blast.






Saturday, my actual birthday, began with my FREE birthday reward at Starbucks (yay!) followed by an afternoon in New Hope with Stacie and Joe.


 We went to a charming place called Nektar which managed to have all of my requirements: outdoor seating (in this case, overlooking the river), small plates menu, and good drinks.  A flight of wine and a few small plates and I was a happy girl; not to mention the incalculable laughs that we've grown accustomed to having when we are with the Morena's.  After, we walked to Havana.  There we soaked in the sun while sipping on a cocktail and sharing wings. Then, we strolled some more, hit some of the New Hope stores and the chocolate shop before heading home to watch Ryder play lacrosse followed by Chase playing baseball. It was a fun day. Very fun.




On Sunday, after an enjoyable morning at Annette's bridal shower, we watched more baseball and more lacrosse before enjoying our annual birthday hibachi and cake with the boys.

Leyela, Sophia, and Lily in awe of the beaming bride to be

Cousins, and sisters, at Annette's shower


cake after hibachi with my favorite boys


Unfortunately, we did not get to celebrate with the families, as our weekend was jam packed but, hopefully, we will celebrate all of the good things these last few weeks have brought us on Mother's Day.

Read my 41st birthday letter

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