Happy 41st Birthday to me!!

It is after midnight, which means it is officially my birthday.  Although I do not know the exact time of my birth, I do know we are nearing the time (approximately 2am), 41 years ago, when after being 5 days later than due, I rushed into the world and took my first breath in the back of the very police car that was hightailing it to the nearest hospital so that a baby wouldn't be born his car.  This remains to be my most interesting fun fact in spite of any experiences life has given me.

I don't know how I am 41.  I understand chronology and numbers and have a mathematical understanding of time yet I can't grasp the passing of it. I can not comprehend how decades literally span 20 or 30 years yet pass fugaciously by like a dream. You look back and it seems it all happened when you blinked.

It is an interesting thing- having a baby just  7 weeks prior to a milestone birthday. Not so much because it marked the said milestone but because his aging is an increasing tally of the time past since that particular day.  When it seems impossible that a year could have gone by I have this remarkable little human clock that tells me it is isn't only possible, but real.  All of the amazing things that Decker has learned and has become serve as my evidence that time is passing, in the very best of ways, and I do not need to feel one day older for me to know that another candle is added to my cake this year.  The truth is, it seemed impossible that I turned 40, so 41 is like some sort of science fiction fantasy that only could be made for television, yet I did, I am...well, I was.    Impossible things happen all of the time, or so it seems.

41 is that age where you just kind of hang out, uneventfully, in your early 40's.  Enough days have passed to get over the shock of the 4th decades arrival and yet another milestone is still far enough away that there's no real excitement in the new age.

This past year has been an unexpected dream come true as we watched our baby's first year.  It has also been a year of personal high's and lows. I have worked more, and enjoyed it, and have found some ways to let my creativity flow. I am studying to get my securities license, and though I do find it difficult to get the time in to study, I find I am making it happen (though slower than anticipated) and it proves if you make time things can get done. I am trying to make time for the friends I don't see, something I found more difficult than desired during baby's first year.   I lost a good amount of weight and am thinner than I may have been at 31 and in exchange I have gained a few gray hairs and more than a handful of "laugh lines."  I have said on more than one occasion, to any of my younger friends who have recently joined this club, "don't fret, 40 is the best yet," and I actually have meant it each and every time.  I mean, true, I am not having nearly as much fun as I did in my 20's, my patience is less, my memory has dwindled, and my pockets are far more shallow.   But my fun is different, my confidence is more, my memories have grown, and my heart is deeper.  Mathematically it seems to balance out. Life is a series of moments.  Hopefully, more positive ones than negative,  and it is about embracing and handling each of those moments and occasionally looking around at those who surround you and just being grateful.

I know in what will seem like a rather short time I'll be 51 and wondering  where my 40's went, looking for that decade as if it were Waldo hidden in the crowd. So I'll just embrace these days, the chaos, the busy schedules, the into everything toddler and the mouthy almost ten year olds who are confusing the onset of double-digits with teenhood. I'll embrace the weekends of kid activities and sports and birthday parties and accept that paychecks are for bills and groceries  and kid activities and sports. Because I know it is just a passing phase of life that, even if hard at times, will be missed when it is gone. 

Life is a series of phases that cascade upon you often with out warning.  In my 40's I've become aware of this and settle into my wisdom with calm and collection. In each phase there are highs and lows, of course.  I find it is best to handle the problems one at a time while clinging to the highlights all at once grasping them by the handful and stamping them on my memory.

Each year will be met with the same disbelief as the one before it, perhaps even more. I just hope each year is met with a similar positive attitude and overall happiness.

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(Continued on 5/1/16)

My day was spent on a lunch date with Todd to our most favorite of places, Kisso.  We have had so many special occasions spent within those bright orange walls and this one was no different and sure did not disappoint.  The rain outside dampened our shoes but not our spirits as we indulged in Alex's food and savored each and every delicious bite.  We enjoyed catching up with Alex, as we like to do, and didn't hesitate to sip on the sake.

After lunch we had to head back home so that we could spend the early evening at synagogue where Chase and Ryder were called to the bimah to accept their B'nai Mitzvah date.  Yup, that really happened.  If that isn't evidence of how fast time passes then I do not know what is.  After synagogue we had some pizza and some cocktails with good friends before heading over to watch what remained of Chase's baseball game.  Another birthday on a ball field....I love that!!

(And, of course, we had our traditional hibachi dinner the night prior.)

Another birthday, another wish made, another year gone by. Happy birthday to me!!

It's not a birthday picture without Alex

We've been coming to Kisso for almost 20 years and this is our first picture under the name!

This was MY 40!