The Tovsky Tribe

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Thursday, December 13, 2007


I know this sounds morbid, and I do not mean it as such, but I often times find funerals inspiring. I know, most people find them depressing and sad, which they are, but beneath the tears and heartache I sometimes find inspiration.
I went to a funeral of the father of a friend I have known almost 25 years. He passed away what seemed to be suddenly, despite being very ill. A respectable man who raised a respectable family, the news came as quite devastating to me and my parents. I could go on about all the reasons it is so sad, but instead I will focus on how a man I knew as a kid is affecting me posthumously.
As far as anyone knows you only get one chance at life. Though most of us expect to live forever, it seems that without much notice at all forever can become tomorrow.
I love listening to eulogies. I wish I never had to hear one in my life, and wish more that I will never have to hear one again, but in this case where wishes can not come true, I do enjoy hearing them. I love hearing the words of the mourning as they present the life of the deceased from their perspective...all the good parts of a person wrapped up in a single speech. A eulogy focuses on their strengths, their successes, their memories shedding the most positive of a light on a rather sad situation.
Some people, perhaps those people that inspire those around them while living, can inspire their wider circle in their death. When you hear about their kindness, or their courage, their energy for life, or their passions, the way they lead by example or by sheer lesson, it is inspiring. I find, often times, it makes me want to be a better person, or improve on the person I am. It makes me strive harder for the days between my birth and death to be enjoyable, kinder, more generous, shared with the people we love most in the world. I am reminded again to tell those that I love that I do, to give apologies, and accept them, when necessary. I am reminded to be a good wife, a good friend, a good daughter, sister, and most importantly, mother. I am reminded to set examples for my children that will hopefully mold them into the type of people who can inspire those around them.
I know everyday for the rest of my friend's life, she will think of her father and, despite her pain, will smile with the memories of the man that he was. And, I know that it would make her smile more to know that the man he was affected those around him, both in life and in death.

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