The Tovsky Tribe: A Letter to my Son on his 9th Birthday

Dear Turner-

9 year old Flyers Fan

Happy 9th birthday! Your final year in single digits, your approach to tweendom. I am constantly saying (usually with teary eyes as my children laugh) how quickly time flies and before I even realize you'll all be grown. And, it's true. But, somehow, with you, your actual age confuses me and the whole concept of time. Because Turner, you have always been beyond your years in so many ways that, sometimes, it came as a nice reminder that you were only 8 when we so often thought of you as older.

Turner, this birthday comes as all the others, too quickly, almost without warning. But, unlike each one before it, this birthday marks a significant milestone in your life's timeline. Today is the halfway point of your childhood, the median between infancy and adulthood. Prior to this day, the moments whizzed passed us, creating memories of coos turning to giggles and then to fully belly laughs; crawls becoming awkward steps before becoming long-stride gallops; emerging sounds that eventually formed into words before developing into sentences then ideas. It all went so quickly. Ahead of us lies your journey to adulthood; your body will grow, your mind will expand; I hope your hugs stay the same. Your legs and arms will lengthen, but time won't. Soon enough you 'll be taller than me, wiser than me, the one in charge. The second half always seems to go faster than the first. I just want to reach out, grab you, and hold you back- just a little. Maybe just slow you down. But I wouldn't. I couldn't . Not you. You have too much to offer and so much to share. You thought outside of the box before you even knew what a box was and you'll continue to offer the world, particularly those of us that think the world of you, so much joy that slowing it down is both impossible and unfair. This moment in time, this halfway mark, all I can do is pause, stare at your round and gorgeous face, see the baby boy that once was, tattoo it again on my mind, kiss those full cheeks, and hug your still small(ish) body. Then, life will continue at what will seem like double time, and I will marvel as you morph into the man you'll become, a gentleman I know I will be so very proud of.

8 was great in so many ways, even if you often acted as an 11 year old. You had an amazing year of growth. You cultivated a fantastic group of friends - the crew, the squad, the meatheads- and when you're all together we are amazed at how great your group is. You were disappointed going in to the school year that none of your boys were in your class, yet your friendship with each of them has stayed intact while you've had an opportunity to foster new friendships with other boys as well. Making friends has never been hard for you. After spending the summer at camp with Jagger, you and he are still good buddies, and your squad of boys is Alex, Greyson, Chase, and Michael. And, there's Jake and Gavin and James and James. And, of course, there's Ethan, he's your friend, your brother.

The Squad

You've found passion in both playing and watching sports, and have risen to the status of biggest sports fan in the house. You love to watch all of the Philly teams, and all of your brothers' teams as well. You'll watch with an analytical eye and discuss the plays, the errors, everything afterwards. You know stats and figures and who is in contention for MVP. You know team records and which team is playing who, when. Sometimes you use words that I don't understand. But I'm trying to learn too. We find that you will know a random sport fact and when we confirm it with Google you are always right. It's amazing to see the depths of your passion. You love the Eagles and Carson Wentz. You love the Sixers and Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid. You love the Flyers, in spite of them sucking, and Wayne Simmonds is your favorite player. Whenever you watch Chase or Ryder's teams play you watch with the same discerning eye and have the same discussion of errors and nice plays. You like to get opinions on who is the best player on any particular team and have your own opinions ready to share. Your favorite birthday gift from your friend was your 200 football cards! Yes, indeed, Turner you are an avid sports fan.

Happy with your football cards

As for playing sports, this year you were a 3 sport athlete. After participating in Beach Blast last summer with Gavin B you loved soccer and wanted to play again this year. Although you were on a team that didn't win one game I was extremely proud of your season. You hustled, you were aggressive, and you played some nice soccer. You also chose to play goal tender. You did very well and if you could get some real training you will do just fine. You are also playing basketball again this year, and are, once again, on the team with your squad. You guys are so good and so much fun to watch. It's amazing that there can be so much talent within one grade at one small school. Yet there is. And, this year, you learned to play lacrosse and will begin you first season in just a few weeks. I am excited to see where you go with this sport. The sky is the limit with you for sure.

Your first soccer game

Receiving your medal at Beach Blast

And, as deep as your passion may be for sports, you're not a "jock." You're an athlete, sure, but your personality, at its core, is not jock. You're kind and sensitive and thoughtful in the most endearing of ways. You have a creative side, and have also learned to play guitar this year. Although you're doing well with it you could certainly afford to practice more. ;). You still love to break out in song or dance and I still love to see it happen. You went to your first concert this year, Green Day, then a few weeks later followed it up with your second concert, Imagine Dragons. Both were awesome and you loved it. You like to play games, play cards, or cuddle up and watch a movie. You still like to give and receive hugs and I hope this is something that never changes. You like to climb trees, ride bikes, go fishing, and play outside. You like to just play. I love that about you.

First Concert- Green Day Revolution Radio Tour

Imagine Dragons concert- Evolve Tour

This year, on one of your many fishing excursions with your brothers and the Van Aken's, you had an accident that, now that you're ok, is sort of funny. When Ryder went to cast his final line of the day you walked in the path of his cast and he hooked the biggest fish he ever caught....YOU. He hooked you right in the shoulder blade. You handled the whole incident amazingly and even when we tried to take the hook out, and dug into your skin, you were brave and you were strong and you never once blamed anyone. You had to go to urgent care to get it removed, you endured one stitch, and we were grateful it hooked your back and not your precious fae. You still love to fish and this story is one we will tell forever.

At school, in 3rd grade, you have Mrs. Cerra. She is so nice and you absolutely love her. At school you are a true gem. The first thing Mrs. Cerra said about you at conference was "KIND, KIND, KIND" and I could not have asked for anything more. She said you are so nice and so helpful to everyone and show true signs of leadership. This makes me so proud. Not just a leader, but a kind one. You bring home "caught being kind" notes often and people are starting to learn they can really count on you. You like math and are learning multiplication. You like learning science this year. You are working hard to improve your reading and I am optimistic you will get where you need to be. You spent the first 4 weeks of school at the top of the Dojo classroom leader-board and though you continue to get points regularly Mrs. Cerra has decided to award other kids too. You're a pleaser and a doer, making school a place where you find great success. Keep it up, my boy!

Your birthday party this year was once again celebrated during Winter break. In typical Turner fashion you announced last April, after spending a half day of school's afternoon escaping a room, "this is where I want my next birthday party!". And, so we did. You and your boys all successfully escaped before the squad came back to the house for a sleepover. We served your favorite- tacos (your crew calls you Taco Turner), ice cream sundaes, and sweet and spicy chili Doritos. The night was spent playing Madden and NBA Live on X-Box, playing mini-hockey, and talking football and doing football trivia. It was so much fun. Unfortunately, we had to move your family party back a week as we all are recovering from illness, but we spent your birthday at a hibachi lunch and watching Chase play hockey.

You escaped the room with 3 minutes remaining

A room full of escapees

Happy 9th birthday

The tradition continues with Hibachi lunch

By the numbers, you are now 53.5 inches, over 2 inches of growth since last year. You weigh 90 lbs. You wear a size 3.5 shoe. Your growth is not slowing down.

Turner, you have always been your own person, and you should be proud of that. You are the reason we all know the rules; you're the reason we know where things are; you're the reason why things get accomplished, as you always are the first to offer a helping hand. This bothers you sometimes, that not only are you the first to help but sometimes the only one to help, but try not to let it, because being your helpful, kind self is who you are and you should be proud! You are fun, and funny, and love to party. You are well aware of your surroundings, pay attention to details, know the answers to anything that you've been taught, told, or overheard. You are empathetic and thoughtful and easy most of the time. Although you LOVE to instigate your brothers, and often to tattle on them, there is no doubt in my mind that you love all 3 of them with every bit of the deep heart you have. They love you right back. The bond the 4 of you share is amazing and can't be shattered by constant bickering even if it makes dad and I a little nuts.

Band of Brothers

Brotherhood

Like your big bro

Always making your baby brother laugh

Brother to brother

As you turn 9 and begin this second half of childhood I wish for you so many things. I hope you continue to try and learn new things. I hope you continue to dream big. I hope you continue to put music to your thoughts. I hope you retain the piece of magic within you that makes you the special kid that you are, one that everyone loves to be around, the life of the party. I hope you continue to be thoughtful and make good choices. I hope your sense of humor continues to mature and develop. And, mostly, Turner, I hope you stay true to yourself in all that you are and all that you want. I hope you know I support you and trust you and am so very proud to be your mom.

Happy birthday, buddy. I love you so....

Mommy