The Tovsky Tribe: A Letter to my Son on his 6th Birthday

Dear Turner,

(1/5/15)

I just spent the last few minutes cuddling with you instead of getting dressed for work. Now, I'm jotting this instead of putting on my make-up. But, it's ok. Because today is your last day of being 5. It's your last day of being in that baby 5-under set as you move to the older 6-8 group, where your brothers currently reside for a few months more. This is sad and exhilarating, emotional and memorable, as every child's milestones usually are. The oxymorons of parenting.

Rise and shine my 6 year old!

(Continued on 1/6/15)

My baby is 6. And, aside from your incessant "I'm the baby of the family whine,", you are so far from a baby that you may as well be 10. You have two lost teeth, have two loose ones, and are too heavy for me to carry, particularly pregnant. You are taller than most of your peers and creeping up on Chase, and at last measurement in July you were 44 inches tall and 47.4 pounds. I anticipate your growth to be over an inch since then.

To choose one word to describe you, Turner, I would say you are an absolute delight. Really. You are a pleasure to have around and to be around. You are well received and well-liked everywhere you go and you always have a smile on your face and a sparkle in your eye that infectiously spreads.

Although you still possess a bit of the shy tendency, you have mostly outgrown it, and prove to be a charismatic, funny, and extremely kind and thoughtful boy. Many days I am amazed at your empathy and consideration and wonder if I set nearly a good enough example for your kind ways.

It often feels like your infancy was skipped over, as if you came out of the womb as 2 1/2 year old eager to catch up to your brothers. And, as a 6 year old kindergartner, you are not so far behind them. You show signs of being the most responsible, are a rule follower, and somehow, despite your upbringing of chaotic harmony, you like order. Schedules work for you. And, you know where everything is. You play well by yourself, are extremely independent, and yet, can play with others showing confidence and leadership and never being anything less than kind. Except to your brothers, who you have, on occasion, tried to strong arm with a punch to the chest, or a pinch to the arm, or a kick to the nuts. They have shown great restraint with minimum response, but careful my boy, I can't promise that forever.

This year you learned to ride a two wheeler, learned to roller skate, to ice skate, and are beginning to learn to read. You've grown up in a ways that should surprise me, but don't, only because of the type of kid you are. You've made friends without my help, started two new schools all on your own, and developed a self-awareness that is enviable.

You've proven to be competent in most activities you try and usually the only thing holding you back is your confidence. I am not sure why you have such self-doubt but, Turner, you are a very capable boy. Keep it up. Always.

You've tried sports. You played soccer. You weren't terrible but you never grasped the concept of competing against another team. Perhaps, when you're older, you won't mind taking the ball away from someone in another jersey. You play hockey with your brothers, but when they play a game you mostly choose to be Ref. You can throw a football well and have dabbled a bit in baseball, but at this point, sports does not seem to bring you the most joy.

Music does. You love to sing and to dance and to act and to pose. And, earlier this year, you took Young Rembrandt's where you proved you also have a knack for drawing.You like to get dressed up on occasion and wear your clothes well. In fact, on your 6th birthday you chose to wear your full suit to school. The suit from Alex's bat mitzvah. I didn't fight you, despite the fact that it was snowing, as I was thrilled you got a second wearing out of it. And, you looked rather adorable in it, if I must say so.

We celebrated your 6th birthday at home. The traditional hibachi dinner was put aside because we just went last week and, instead, it was your choice of homemade mac and cheese (unfortunately, you prefer the boxed crap,) pickles, and out for ice cream. At Go Bananas we sang happy birthday to you, complete with cha-cha-cha's.

You are silly and funny and smart beyond your years. You are thoughtful and creative and kind and mature. You are beyond excited to be a big brother and I know, without a doubt, you will take the job seriously and do a fantastic job teaching little 4 the ropes. I can depend on you for a snuggle, a hug, a kiss, and an I love you just as much as I can depend on you for a laugh. I can depend on you to report the facts and I can depend on you to make sure all the rules are followed.

You may seem to be growing up too quickly but, I tell you all of the time, no matter what, no matter how old you are, no matter that another baby is on the way, you, Turner, will always be my happy baby boy.

Happy 6th birthday, Bugs! I love you so!

Mommy