I was in no hurry to get him out of his crib, nor out of his diapers, but I thought a little motivation would be a good thing. So, I told him that when he started using the potty he could have a bed. This shut him up for a while since he had no interest in the potty, at all. Except maybe to stand at one, which I think had more to do with his interest in his penis than in the potty itself.
On August 1st Todd began working from home again. Which means our guest room became his office and the bed....was moved to Turner's room. No big ceremony. No potty peeing. No hyped up excitement. He just went to bed in a crib on July 31st. And on August 1st he went to bed in a queen-sized bed. He wasn't upset about it but didn't seem overly excited, either, about giving up his crib. He did great on the first night, and every night since.
My original plan was to paint his room and give him the bed as a surprise when he was trained. So, now, we tell him when he is trained he can have his room painted. This is actually exciting to him.
Here is what his big boy bed looks like:
6 weeks later he sleeps well, he naps well, and he has learned that a bed that big for a boy his size is perfect for jumping on!!!
I am not usually a basket-case. There is a long list of things you can call me: forgetful, sarcastic, late, to name a few. But I am normally not a basket-case. I don't tend to get worked up over little things and I often assume things are going to work out as they are supposed to.
Chase and Ryder started Kindergarten on Tuesday. It was one day late due to the aftermath of Irene.
The night before (really, weeks before) the excitement started to build. The boys went to bed hours past their bedtime because they couldn't stop jumping on their beds.
They picked out their clothes. Ryder had picked out his clothes weeks in advance and was so excited that he could wear a tie on his first day. Then laid in bed, together, apart, together, apart. They did finally fall asleep. I don't know what time. They did sleep in separate beds.
The morning of I had a glimpse of what high school would be like since I had to wake them up. When I did, Ryder rolled over, pulled his blanket over his head and gave me a groan that sounded like a dying frog. Chase took a moment, a slow moment, then smiled and jumped out of bed, needing to be the first one ready.
The boys dressed themselves, wet, combed and gelled their own hair. Their hair looked much better than my bathroom. After a breakfast they didn't eat they ran outside for some pictures before heading to the bus stop. The bus was the biggest part of their excitement. Riding the big yellow school bus that, somehow, still, in this day and age, you can get away with riding without seatbelts, is a a huge milestone into big boyhood and that was, probably, the thing they were most excited for.
They rushed onto the bus, in front of the big kids, they never gave me hugs, not kisses, not even goodbyes (though, Chase did turn around and wave....to Todd!) And, they were off.
And something didn't sit right for me. Maybe it was that my babies were now in Kindergarten. Maybe it was that they, for the first time, were being separated in school. Maybe it was that my son was wearing a tie to school, on his first day of Kindergarten, and I feared he may get beat up. Maybe it was knowing my boys were growing up, quickly, and didn't want to hug their mommy anymore.
In the end I think it was mommy's intuition for the fiasco that was about to happen.
The bus stop to school is right in front of our house. This is a convenience that I know will prove its worth time and again as the years pass. Their bus stop on the way home is at Ohev Shalom. This is because you can only choose one stop and the boys will be doing enrichment there three days a week. Ohev does not start until next week. I told the boys several times that they were to go there after school and that I would meet them. Yet, I was nervous. I called the school to verify that this was the proper arrangement. That they would, indeed, be dropped off at Ohev even though school was not in session. They told me that was ABSOLUTELY the case. In an out of character moment, I called twice, not convinced this was going to run smoothly.
I arrived at Ohev at 11:05. The bus was not expected until 11:50. I wasn't having a dyslexic moment...I was just nervous and arrived early. Very out of character. While waiting for those 45 minutes I paced. Paced. I was starting to think my body had been taken over by someone who didn't fly by the seat of her pants. It turns out, I had reason to be nervous. I knew what was going to happen before it did. The bus driver did not drop the boys off at Ohev. Even after I called a third time and they told me to stay put.
It was 1.5 hours before I found my sons, my new kindergartners. It was 1.5 hours later that I picked them up at Richboro Elementary School. It was 1.5 hours later that I turned into a complete basket-case.
Like I said, I am not usually like that. Perhaps it was the final straw on the not-so-great year we have been having. Or it could have just been that my kids were lost for over an hour when they were under the care of their school. It's just not supposed to happen that way.
In the end, we are all over it. The boys recovered much faster than I did, as usual. I had never been so grateful to have twins as I was during that mess, thrilled that they weren't alone for what they said was a "very long bus ride!"
Although this is a first day of Kindergarten I will not soon forget, for them it was an otherwise great day. They both seemed happy with their teachers and their classes. Neither of them seemed to be upset that they were separated. They each made a new friend. And, they both came home telling stories. Particularly Ryder, who had much more to say on the topic than chatterbox Chase.
I hope they have a fantastic year. I hope they make new friends and learn a lot. I hope they carve their own paths and mold their own interests. I hope that there is never another bussing snafu again. I am not sure I can handle it.
Boys, you may be the little guys in the big school but you'll never be the little fish. I have no doubt of all that you will be and all that you will accomplish and this is just one small step towards all that you deserve. I am so very proud of both you and I love you so!!!
Not sure if this video portrays their actual excitement, but.....
There are tons of little moments that remind us our babies are no longer such. They happen despite our death grip to hold on to their infancy, to their babyhood, even their toddlerhood. They happen no matter how much we beg to freeze them in the moment of time when they cuddle on your shoulder and tuck their head into the crook of your neck, or snuggle into their cribs with their toosh in the air, or at their absolute hysterics over a simple game of peek-a-boo!
Today, Turner had one of those moments, in fact a string of those moments, and as much as I wanted to knock him down when he was first learning to walk there is nothing to do to stop his inevitable steps over big boyhoods threshold.
Chase had a doctors appointment all the way out in King of Prussia. With Todd in Florida visiting his Mom-Mom this could not have come at a more inconvenient time. But, appointments at CHOP are hard to come by so I went in the middle of the day. With both my mother and sister tied up with previous commitments I had to find other "babysitting" for both Turner and Ryder.
Ryder went home from school with his buddy Oren. They had a blast and Jeff had no reports of negative behavior. And, in a story I do not want to repeat here, the boys became even more of blood brothers than a costume sharing gesture could ever prove.
Turner went home with Nikki, Jagger, and Brody. Or, as he says it, Ninik, Gagher, and Baby Broyee! Every morning when he wakes up he asks if it is a "Barbara's House" day? After I told him that it most certainly was (and, ultimately, after his grin of delight) I filled him in on the fact that he would be going home after school with Jagger. "Ok, mama!" was all that I got. I dropped it for a moment. We got dressed and went downstairs. Over breakfast Ryder and I discussed how he would go home with Oren after school. He did a fist pump and an "AWESOME!" I looked at Turner and said, "Turner, who are you going to go home with?" "Ninik, mama! Gagher and Baby Broyee!" He said it so matter of factly, as if he always goes home with people other than me. Then he continued, "I hold Broyee at Ninik's house?" I told him I thought that could be arranged.
Apparently the date went great. Turner gave Nikki a hug as soon as he saw her. At her house he played and shared with his best bud Jagger. He got to hug and kiss and change the diapers of Brody. He got to walk the dog and watch her pee. He got to play rock band. And, from what I understand, he never stopped talking. This came as a surprise to Nikki, but to me, not so much. That boy never shuts up. Ever. Unless of course he is being out-talked by Chase. Which is likely.
Although all of these, on his first play date without his mommy, are examples of those reminder moments none of them are my real indicator that Turner is not a baby. He is in school, he speaks in sentences, he plays with his brothers, and he has an opinion and, yet, I can continue to deny his obvious growing up.
What came to me like a smack in the face was when I asked Turner about his day, if he had fun with Jagger and what he did, I got a full response. He told me, in his words: "I hold baby broyee. I kiss him." I asked, did you help Nikki? and he said "Yeah, momma, I help Ninik change Broyee's peepee." He paused. "I walk the doggie. doggie made peepee." I continued, "Turner what is the dog's name!" He smiled, "Sophie!" Sophie he repeated several times.
He clearly had a blast!!
My baby boy will always be my baby but he is giving me not so subtle hints that he is no longer an actual baby. I will try to enjoy the moments that he lets me know he is a big boy, admiring his milestones with both pride and (slightly bitter) joy. And, in the meantime, I will also cherish the few things I have left to hold on to my baby's babyhood. His snuggle with his "baybay and friend." The way he grabs the corner and rubs his finger on the silk. And, how his mouth starts rooting when he is tired. The grin that lights up a room and the giggle that is childlike and fun. And, for now, I will even cherish the fact that he still wears diapers, still sleeps in a crib, and still cries for his mommy, sometimes.
And, without being too much of a braggart, I am also very proud that my boy, my baby, was able to show to others what I already knew...that he can be a big boy!!!
