Two Weeks New

It's only been two weeks.  It's been 14 days since Decker's arrival and, yet, I can barely remember what life was like without him.  He's joined our family without resistance from any one of us and the transition has been so smooth and so natural it is, as if, he was always here with us. Perhaps, he was, in our hearts.

Love is overflowing in these walls around us.  The 5 of us who lived here three weeks ago have each fallen in love, in our own way, with the newest family member, and none of us can actually picture a life without Dex.

As a result, I forget how young he is, how new to the world he really is.  I forget that he is supposed to be off-schedule and mix up his days and his nights, because that is what newborns do.

My littlest guy is new to this world and new to this family, yet it certainly doesn't feel that way.  He has always been a part of us!

Death Grip on Babyhood!

There are tons of little moments that remind us our babies are no longer such.  They happen despite our death grip to hold on to their infancy, to their babyhood, even their toddlerhood.  They happen no matter how much we beg to freeze them in the moment of time when they cuddle on your shoulder and tuck their head into the crook of your neck, or snuggle into their cribs with their toosh in the air, or at their absolute hysterics over a simple game of peek-a-boo!
Today, Turner had one of those moments, in fact a string of those moments, and as much as I wanted to knock him down when he was first learning to walk there is nothing to do to stop his inevitable steps over big boyhoods threshold.

Chase had a doctors appointment all the way out in King of Prussia.  With Todd in Florida visiting his Mom-Mom this could not have come at a more inconvenient time.   But, appointments at CHOP are hard to come by so I went in the middle of the day.  With both my mother and sister tied up with previous commitments I had to find other "babysitting" for both Turner and Ryder.

Ryder went home from school with his buddy Oren.  They had a blast and Jeff had no reports of negative behavior.  And, in a story I do not want to repeat here, the boys became even more of blood brothers than a costume sharing gesture could ever prove.

Turner went home with Nikki, Jagger, and Brody.  Or, as he says it, Ninik, Gagher, and Baby Broyee!  Every morning when he wakes up he asks if it is a "Barbara's House" day?  After I told him that it most certainly was (and, ultimately, after his grin of delight) I filled him in on the fact that he would be going home after school with Jagger.  "Ok, mama!" was all that I got.   I dropped it for a moment.   We got dressed and went downstairs.  Over breakfast Ryder and I discussed how he would go home with Oren after school.  He did a fist pump and an "AWESOME!"  I looked at Turner and said, "Turner, who are you going to go home with?"  "Ninik, mama!  Gagher and Baby Broyee!"  He said it so matter of factly, as if he always goes home with people other than me.  Then he continued, "I hold Broyee at Ninik's house?"  I told him I thought that could be arranged.

Apparently the date went great.  Turner gave Nikki a hug as soon as he saw her.  At her house he played and shared with his best bud Jagger.  He got to hug and kiss and change the diapers of Brody.  He got to walk the dog and watch her pee.  He got to play rock band.  And, from what I understand, he never stopped talking.  This came as a surprise to Nikki, but to me, not so much.   That boy never shuts up.  Ever.  Unless of course he is being out-talked by Chase.  Which is likely.

Although all of these, on his first play date without his mommy, are examples of those reminder moments none of them are my real indicator that Turner is not a baby.  He is in school, he speaks in sentences, he plays with his brothers, and he has an opinion and, yet, I can continue to deny his obvious growing up.
What came to me like a smack in the face was when I asked Turner about his day, if he had fun with Jagger and what he did, I got a full response.   He told me, in his words: "I hold baby broyee.  I kiss him."  I asked, did you help Nikki?  and he said "Yeah, momma, I help Ninik change Broyee's peepee."  He paused.   "I walk the doggie.  doggie made peepee."  I continued, "Turner what is the dog's name!"  He smiled, "Sophie!"  Sophie he repeated several times.

He clearly had a blast!!

My baby boy will always be my baby but he is giving me not so subtle hints that he is no longer an actual baby.  I will try to enjoy the moments that he lets me know he is a big boy, admiring his milestones with both pride and (slightly bitter) joy.  And, in the meantime, I will also cherish the few things I have left to hold on to my baby's babyhood.   His snuggle with his "baybay and friend."  The way he grabs the corner and rubs his finger on the silk.  And, how his mouth starts rooting when he is tired.  The grin that lights up a room and the giggle that is childlike and fun.   And, for now, I will even cherish the fact that he still wears diapers, still sleeps in a crib, and still cries for his mommy, sometimes.

And, without being too much of a braggart, I am also very proud that my boy, my baby, was able to show to others what I already knew...that he can be a big boy!!!

Holding Hands with his Best Friends sister

Hugging Brody

Holding Baby Broyee

Little Rock Stars