This post was written on May 24, 2008!
It is still true!! At least as far as I know, as I hope. Life is still a blurry mix of a very happy reality and an elated surreality.
Minute to minute, as I go through the day with Chase and Ryder trying to anticipate their shenanigans, there is no time for me to think about the fact that I am pregnant. In fact as I am running around the playground or being used as a jungle gym it is actually quite easy to forget. But, then I will have a rare, quiet moment to myself and it will dawn on me. Holy cow I am pregnant!! I figure if I say it enough times eventually it will sink in.
I remember going through this when I was pregnant with the boys, thinking it could not be. Truth is there is no evidence. As mentioned I feel completely normal, I am looking for symptoms and still can't come up with any. With Chase and Ryder I had the comfort of weekly office visits verifying that despite my lack of symptoms I was indeed growing two babies. This time I have not even seen a doctor yet. So much for doing things the old fashioned way!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
It's true!!
This post was written on 5/23/08!
So I insisted Todd buy a new test. Yes, I made him go to the drug store and buy a pregnancy test that was NOT expired. I know, you are thinking what he was saying, an expired test would give a false negative before an unlikely false positive, but still, I needed verification. I had never purchased a pregnancy test before, I guess I still haven't. He brought me home a clearblue easy test, it does not get easier...you pee on the stick and after a few moments it says either Pregnant or Not Pregnant, I could not deny this:
So, its true, though its still surreal. I find these smiles randomly appearing on my face, out of nowhere. Todd will look at me and immediately he knows what I am thinking, HOLY SHIT WE ARE PREGNANT!! Then, we look at our boys and grin with delight...another one to love. I have always wanted a third, I am beyond thrilled, yet I am still a bit shocked.
I did call the doc and set up an appoinment. Maybe then it will be a bit more real?! #3, I love you already.
PS: As I had expected, Todd is utterly excited and already anticipating his newest baby.
So I insisted Todd buy a new test. Yes, I made him go to the drug store and buy a pregnancy test that was NOT expired. I know, you are thinking what he was saying, an expired test would give a false negative before an unlikely false positive, but still, I needed verification. I had never purchased a pregnancy test before, I guess I still haven't. He brought me home a clearblue easy test, it does not get easier...you pee on the stick and after a few moments it says either Pregnant or Not Pregnant, I could not deny this:
So, its true, though its still surreal. I find these smiles randomly appearing on my face, out of nowhere. Todd will look at me and immediately he knows what I am thinking, HOLY SHIT WE ARE PREGNANT!! Then, we look at our boys and grin with delight...another one to love. I have always wanted a third, I am beyond thrilled, yet I am still a bit shocked.
I did call the doc and set up an appoinment. Maybe then it will be a bit more real?! #3, I love you already.
PS: As I had expected, Todd is utterly excited and already anticipating his newest baby.
One Heartbeat!
This post was written on June 6, 2008!
One ultrasound later and despite, thankfully, seeing JUST ONE active heartbeat the reality is still not setting in. Soon enough my clothes will stop fitting and my belly will start growing and then I will feel those flutters and suddenly it will all make sense.
Most of my day goes on like normal though I am definitely more tired. But, when I can't sleep at night, as I lie there I swear I can feel zygie growing. My uterus will start to tighten and I feel light pressure. I know this is crazy since zygie is only about an inch long, but in that moment my yet to be born third child is letting me know all is well and for that brief moment I do know it is real.
One ultrasound later and despite, thankfully, seeing JUST ONE active heartbeat the reality is still not setting in. Soon enough my clothes will stop fitting and my belly will start growing and then I will feel those flutters and suddenly it will all make sense.
Most of my day goes on like normal though I am definitely more tired. But, when I can't sleep at night, as I lie there I swear I can feel zygie growing. My uterus will start to tighten and I feel light pressure. I know this is crazy since zygie is only about an inch long, but in that moment my yet to be born third child is letting me know all is well and for that brief moment I do know it is real.
Numbers Game!
This post was written on May 30, 2008.
When I first found out I was pregnant with the twins, verification came by way of a blood test which indicated my hormone levels. When a very pleased doctor told me that, one day past week 4 of pregnancy, my levels were at 900. I had no idea what that meant. Later I learned that a singleton pregnancy, at week 4, would have levels lingering around 300. It does not take a math genius to realize the numbers were indicative of multiples.
Here we are week 7 of this pregnancy and once again the verification of my levels came by way of phone. Once again, a very pleased doctor informed me my numbers were fantastic! When I had seen him at the office, just after taking blood but before the results, he mentioned the numbers 8000-9000. When he called, he said my levels were at 26000!! I admit it, I got panicked. I know very little about these numbers but basic math told me that was nearly triple the numbers he had mentioned and my first thought was "Twins Again!" I know how unlikely that is, and I know that there is no reason to suspect, but when all you know is twins you can't help but wonder. The doc reassured me the numbers were perfect for one baby at about 7 weeks. Of course, I will await the ultrasound, on Tuesday, for the final verification that there is only one baby in utero!
When I first found out I was pregnant with the twins, verification came by way of a blood test which indicated my hormone levels. When a very pleased doctor told me that, one day past week 4 of pregnancy, my levels were at 900. I had no idea what that meant. Later I learned that a singleton pregnancy, at week 4, would have levels lingering around 300. It does not take a math genius to realize the numbers were indicative of multiples.
Here we are week 7 of this pregnancy and once again the verification of my levels came by way of phone. Once again, a very pleased doctor informed me my numbers were fantastic! When I had seen him at the office, just after taking blood but before the results, he mentioned the numbers 8000-9000. When he called, he said my levels were at 26000!! I admit it, I got panicked. I know very little about these numbers but basic math told me that was nearly triple the numbers he had mentioned and my first thought was "Twins Again!" I know how unlikely that is, and I know that there is no reason to suspect, but when all you know is twins you can't help but wonder. The doc reassured me the numbers were perfect for one baby at about 7 weeks. Of course, I will await the ultrasound, on Tuesday, for the final verification that there is only one baby in utero!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Two Lines!!
This post was written on May 22nd, 2008!
Something shocking, something incredible, has happened today. We saw two lines!!!
We saw two lines on a test that is 2.5 years expired. That was all we had and the wondering was eating me up. So, we used it. And, we saw two lines.
My period was late. This is often a tell tale sign of a pregnancy, but I did not see it that way. For one, my cycle was not yet totally regular so I could only be late if I knew when exactly to expect my period. I had nothing more than a ballpark figure. Also, it did not seem likely that after my first experience of baby making, that it could happen without even really trying. Sure, it happens all the time, but not to me. And, I do not feel pregnant, I feel totally normal. Whatever normal is. Not more tired, nor hungry, nor thirsty, nor nauseous, just normal. Lastly, I just started weight watchers, two days ago. Finally after 22 months I decided to get the baby weight off, ironically, just to put it on. So, with all of these reasons I did not see a late period as evidence of much. I decided that if I did not get my period by Memorial Day, seven weeks after my last period, I would take a test. Only I could not wait. Despite my doubts something was telling me to test now!! The wondering was keeping me up at night. The wondering of if it could really happen that fast, that easy, that unexpectedly? So, we tested it. We took a test, an expired test from samples I was given, and as it turns out there were two lines. Holy Shit!! I think I am pregnant. Happy as can be, I am completely shocked. It does not yet seem real, nor possible, so I must just take a moment.
Something shocking, something incredible, has happened today. We saw two lines!!!
We saw two lines on a test that is 2.5 years expired. That was all we had and the wondering was eating me up. So, we used it. And, we saw two lines.
My period was late. This is often a tell tale sign of a pregnancy, but I did not see it that way. For one, my cycle was not yet totally regular so I could only be late if I knew when exactly to expect my period. I had nothing more than a ballpark figure. Also, it did not seem likely that after my first experience of baby making, that it could happen without even really trying. Sure, it happens all the time, but not to me. And, I do not feel pregnant, I feel totally normal. Whatever normal is. Not more tired, nor hungry, nor thirsty, nor nauseous, just normal. Lastly, I just started weight watchers, two days ago. Finally after 22 months I decided to get the baby weight off, ironically, just to put it on. So, with all of these reasons I did not see a late period as evidence of much. I decided that if I did not get my period by Memorial Day, seven weeks after my last period, I would take a test. Only I could not wait. Despite my doubts something was telling me to test now!! The wondering was keeping me up at night. The wondering of if it could really happen that fast, that easy, that unexpectedly? So, we tested it. We took a test, an expired test from samples I was given, and as it turns out there were two lines. Holy Shit!! I think I am pregnant. Happy as can be, I am completely shocked. It does not yet seem real, nor possible, so I must just take a moment.
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Fireworks Explosion!
We celebrated the 4th of July almost like we had many times before. By the beach, with Dave and Beth by our side. Despite the obvious changes, three and a half kids, mommies who can't drink, and daddies who can still drink but also tend to their kids, we had a great time. This Independence day included our late night hang out from the usual suspects and although I have not yet ventured out I am certain this July 5th will involve the same clean up as many 7/5's in the past.
This, however, was one of the first 4th of July's in a while where weather and circumstance did not prevent us from seeing a fireworks display.
We kept the kids up late, and at 8:30 headed down to the beach; 4 adults, three beach chairs, 2 strollers (a double and a single), 1 beach blanket, a few travel drinks, and a camera. We were ready. The kids were ready. One test firework in the air and excitedly both of my kids asked for more. I remained optimistic. Ryder houdinied his way out of his seat and ran about the beach, joyfully. Chase stayed glued, cautious. The show began and this story goes two ways; Ryder looked up in amazement enthralled by the colors and the sounds. He clapped at intervals and cheered and screamed in delight. He rolled around in the sand, stood on his head as he likes to, and then returned to his feet for more applause. It was seemingly one of the best times he has had since birth. I didn't see his reaction to the finale, but legend has it that he was stunned with amazement. His jaw dropped, his eyes big, and the words I like it were being uttered. What a thrill to see your kid so happy. This is exactly how I would have expected Ryder to act.
Meanwhile, Chase's story, different but no less animated, goes something like this: The fireworks began and at the same instant he began with a cry and a plea for mommy to hold him. I could not get him unbuckled and out of the stroller fast enough before he erupted into full tears. As I picked him up, he burried his face into the nook of my neck and shoulder and did not move again for an hour. He held me so tightly I wondered where he stores all that strength and he cried the whole time uttering the words No Like It! He asked me to cover his ears, too loud mommy, and since one was in my shoulder I put my finger in his semi-exposed ear. I rocked him and did a calming ssshhh in his ear, neither of which calmed him, and after I realized he was not giving up on this cry I started to walk home. Of course, walking home did not help, it was just as loud, he was just as upset, but I did not know what to do. The walk home, 25 pounds wrapped around me and no freedom to readjust my hold, was grueling and difficult, but you do what you have to do. Once home we sat on the porch, I rubbed his back, and felt him slowly calm as the fireworks had ended. Eventually, he pulled up his head, his eyes needed to readjust to the light, and he looked at me and grinned, as if there was no problem at all. He said goodnight to everyone, we went to his room, we put on pajamas and read stories like any other night and he was so happy. He looked at Todd and I, flashed his dimples and said "try again!". We asked him "try seeing the fireworks again?" And he said sweetly, "yes, try again!". We laughed and told him next time we will definitely try again. He went right to sleep without a whimper. I guess all is well that ends well.
This, however, was one of the first 4th of July's in a while where weather and circumstance did not prevent us from seeing a fireworks display.
We kept the kids up late, and at 8:30 headed down to the beach; 4 adults, three beach chairs, 2 strollers (a double and a single), 1 beach blanket, a few travel drinks, and a camera. We were ready. The kids were ready. One test firework in the air and excitedly both of my kids asked for more. I remained optimistic. Ryder houdinied his way out of his seat and ran about the beach, joyfully. Chase stayed glued, cautious. The show began and this story goes two ways; Ryder looked up in amazement enthralled by the colors and the sounds. He clapped at intervals and cheered and screamed in delight. He rolled around in the sand, stood on his head as he likes to, and then returned to his feet for more applause. It was seemingly one of the best times he has had since birth. I didn't see his reaction to the finale, but legend has it that he was stunned with amazement. His jaw dropped, his eyes big, and the words I like it were being uttered. What a thrill to see your kid so happy. This is exactly how I would have expected Ryder to act.
Meanwhile, Chase's story, different but no less animated, goes something like this: The fireworks began and at the same instant he began with a cry and a plea for mommy to hold him. I could not get him unbuckled and out of the stroller fast enough before he erupted into full tears. As I picked him up, he burried his face into the nook of my neck and shoulder and did not move again for an hour. He held me so tightly I wondered where he stores all that strength and he cried the whole time uttering the words No Like It! He asked me to cover his ears, too loud mommy, and since one was in my shoulder I put my finger in his semi-exposed ear. I rocked him and did a calming ssshhh in his ear, neither of which calmed him, and after I realized he was not giving up on this cry I started to walk home. Of course, walking home did not help, it was just as loud, he was just as upset, but I did not know what to do. The walk home, 25 pounds wrapped around me and no freedom to readjust my hold, was grueling and difficult, but you do what you have to do. Once home we sat on the porch, I rubbed his back, and felt him slowly calm as the fireworks had ended. Eventually, he pulled up his head, his eyes needed to readjust to the light, and he looked at me and grinned, as if there was no problem at all. He said goodnight to everyone, we went to his room, we put on pajamas and read stories like any other night and he was so happy. He looked at Todd and I, flashed his dimples and said "try again!". We asked him "try seeing the fireworks again?" And he said sweetly, "yes, try again!". We laughed and told him next time we will definitely try again. He went right to sleep without a whimper. I guess all is well that ends well.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Puppy Love!!
During our stay at the Shotz house while we were in the Pocono's Chase fell in love with a dog. Rocky is the beloved 5th child of my Uncle Steven, and is present, usually in Steven's lap, at all Shotz hosted family functions. Chase had met Rocky before and had a fascination with him, but this time he was really in love. He used to go in and out of phases of being scared of dogs. He was not scared of Rocky, though I am sure it helps that Chase is twice the size of the pooch. Here are some pix of the moments, including the picture that Chase himself took (with only a little help from Mommy.)
Chase took this one himself. Perhaps, the historian for the youngest generation?
Chase took this one himself. Perhaps, the historian for the youngest generation?
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