A Letter to my Son on his 11th Birthday! (Ryder)

Dear  Ryder,

Happy 11th Birthday

I admit it.  I was not still not used to the idea of you being double digits and, yet, you are now 11. Full-fledged in the middle of the tweendom, actually closer to heading on out of that phase.

We celebrated your birthday in many fun ways.  It began with a pancake breakfast before camp and then going to see the opening day premiere of Spiderman Homecoming in the highest audio and video quality possible, thanks to Uncle Rob.  (Sidenote: Uncle Rob has a similar passion for both superheroes and technology as you do.)  Quinn joined us for this movie as well as dinner.  The next day, after sleeping in (it's hard to be 11) and some swimming, we took a small handful of yours and Chase's friends to Treehouse World, where you played Archery Tag (awesome!); Rock Climbed up very tall trees, and ran through a park filled with tree houses, swinging bridges, and rope swings.  It was a fun day.  Then, we had the usual suspects spend the night.  On Sunday, we celebrated your birthday and Pop-Pop's with the whole family.  It was wonderful.

Happy 11th to my favorite twins

Pancake breakfast

Spiderman: Homecoming

Cargo climb at Treehouse World

Archery Tag

Tree "rock" climbing

The boys

I am not sure that on the day you were born I could have imagined what 11 would actually be. There's no way that I would have guessed that one year into your second decade you would be almost as tall as me (59.5 inches), weigh nearly as much me, and have a foot that is larger than mine (size 7.5).  I did not imagine that we would be sharing hoodies, flip-flops, and iPhones (this is a point of contention and a big part of your negotiation as to why you should have your own.) It's true that by the time you were a toddler it was obvious you were full of imagination, abound with creativity, intensely passionate, and loaded with an energy that was hard to keep up with.  We learned then that if we allowed you space to run you would never go further than the eye could see, but if we tried to hold you close you would fight us until you could run off.  But, we could not have guessed how all of that would translate into an 11-year-old version of yourself.  Because, even though you're still very much the same kid you always were- creative, smart, sensitive, kind, energetic, stubborn, and still in need of a reasonable amount of freedom- you are not a simple description.  You were never typically molded and are not easily classified.  You are not black and white, but instead, a million different shades of every color. You've always been and continue to be interesting and dynamic and varied, layered with many different interests and passions, and you often leave all of us who adore you having to guess what's next.

Ryder, my superhero, you are the kid who sits in his room (which has walls painted in a true red), on the bed that is surrounded by skateboard images and a display of your own artwork, wearing your lacrosse jersey while comfortable beneath a Phillies blanket, playing your electric bass. You don't fall into one category like most kids your age; not a jock, nor a skater, nor an artist, nor a musician, nor a rebel- yet, almost like patchwork, you are all of these things; a composition of so many unique and interesting talents.  You are a sensitive poet and a physically strong athlete.  You are wired with kinetic energy yet love to sit and read.  You are a deep thinker, an out of the box thinker, and have a great sense of  humor.  You can be quietly drawing or challenging gravity at a skate park, both with equal determination. You are tough, and brave, yet endearing and sensitive.  You are, literally, a kid who can find love anywhere, spotting heart shaped rocks, leaves, and erosion carvings everywhere we go.  I call you my Superhero because you truly are. You have been a hero more than once, running to the rescue of Decker, or a friend, or an animal on any occasion that presents itself. And, like many of your favorite heroes, what you present on the surface is just the very beginning of who you are. To know you is to explore the depths of you, and Ryder, you are fascinating.

Just finding a little love in the grass

You are a loyal friend, a trait that does not go unnoticed by those that are lucky enough to have you as one.  And, there are many.  Your friends are widespread and of all different types.  Your fun and energetic ways make you a friend amongst friends, just as your caring and sensitive ways make you a friend to those who could use an extra one.

This past year we celebrated Delaney's bat mitzvah which was a wonderful time for us all.  Also, you played basketball, began bass guitar lessons, learned to Olly on your skateboard, and started playing lacrosse.  Lacrosse is a different and fun sport and you enjoyed playing it.  You read many books, drew many pictures, and have started writing songs.  5th grade was a successful year.  Mrs. Cicchiello was an awesome teacher for you and, as many before her have, embraced your talents and explored your depth.  As with most things, you didn't always make it easy to understand your academic ways.  You are not a typical student (of course) and find standard learning from worksheets boring. You will master a topic but not show it in your test scores.  You claim to hate math, yet ended the school year with an E in said topic.  Or, you will skip answers on a test but can explain the material to your classmate with perfection (as told to me by Mr. Benson.)   You love to keep us all guessing, and it takes a team of us (teachers, support teachers, dad and I) to develop plans that allow your intelligence and your creativity to flourish and prosper within the standard public classroom. This past year, in an effort to build your own confidence in your academic competency, and because of your ability to help a person in need, especially younger children, the idea to assist a first grader with math became a part of your customized academic program.  This was something that you absolutely loved. Helping Jackson every Friday was a highlight of your school week.  All of your teachers have said how you would make an amazing teacher one day.  You were chosen by the teachers as part of the Conflict Mediator group (though I have yet to learn what you really do for this) and you are a part of Student Council on the Art team, you were in the chorus and in the school play.  You also did the Science Fair with Jake and were in the district Art Show. You always stay involved with Richboro Elementary.  You find many ways to succeed within the school walls.

science fair

art show

Delaney's Bat Mitzvah

Although you haven't worn a Superhero costume in many years, nor have you played with an action figure pretending to save the world from villains, you remain to be a self-proclaimed "superhero geek" and are extremely knowledgeable on all the facets of the heroes, their worlds, their powers, their villains, and their back stories.  You'll even chuckle at me when, thinking I have learned something new, I inquire "Ry, did you know...." and then you'll remind that you read up on everything there is to know.  Because of this diligent research, when we went to see the very gory, very violent, yet emotionally touching R-Rated Logan, and I asked you if you were scared at all when Logan was decapitating the bad guys with his Wolverine claws you said, "Mom, I know everything about this story and what is happening, it isn't real, there is nothing to be scared of."  I mean, I know you're right, mostly, but c'mon, Logan literally took off a head in the very first scene of the movie.  Lol.  However, it was a great movie,(in fact, it is your favorite movie that you have seen yet, with Spiderman: Homecoming in second) that got us both a little teary by the end.

I don't know when and how you do all the "research" that you do (it is clearly internet based) but you have a similar knowledge about Green Day, your all-time favorite band, and each of its bandmates. As well as Skate Boarding, and many other of your interests.  You do not take an interest of yours lightly. No, you fall in love with it completely and put forth a passionate devotion to learning about it. I hope this continues to be the way you do things and that you find a career to be passionate about with similar fiery.  (And, it wouldn't hurt to be this passionate about school work:)

Your favorite TV show is The Flash; (though we love to watch both Survivor and America's Got Talent together as a family.)  And, you laugh almost as hard as I do when we get to watch an episode of The Goldberg's.  Your favorite books series is The Magisterial Trials (though you also really liked the I Funny series by James Patterson; your favorite movie (as previously mentioned) is Logan; your favorite band is Green Day.  Your favorite sport is a toss-up between basketball and lacrosse, both of which you play in an organized league, but it is skateboarding that you like to fill your free time with.You love to take a bike ride, scour You-Tube, climb trees, go fishing, and play tag.  Your best friends are Ethan (who is like a brother) and Aidan and Jake, and your favorite color still remains to be red.  You love to write books and songs and comics.

This year you had your first camping trips, the first being with Ethan and Chase and GP, the second two being with our family and some friends.  You went on journeys on your bike, through Tyler and the neighborhood, and fishing trips that lasted all day long.  You went to Cape May for a week with a friend.  You have certainly had a year full of memorable moments.

Your tenth year was an overall great year, you've grown and matured and are really finding yourself. I know that things get hectic, and I know that we don't always agree.  I know that, sometimes, we will yell, and other times you will think that we are really tough on you.  But, agree or not, yelling or not talking, I am always beyond proud of everything that you are. I hope you know that it is the moments that we share, the conversations that we have, the laughs that are echoed, the games that we play that are the most cherished moments in my life.  Ryder, I have so much faith in everything you could become and hope you understand that your abilities are limitless, your heart is huge, and in addition to being brave, you are kind and sensitive and real.  These are your super powers, Ryder, use them and use them well.

Happy 11th birthday, Ryder!  I love you so.

Mom

The 10th birthday Letter

In the tent on our first camping trip

Brothers in Wildwood

The birthday shirt is just about the right size

Birthday interview

A Letter to my Son on his 8th Birthday!

Dear Turner,

Cool as can be

Wishing for the stars

This morning, while I was still lying in bed, I was presented with the Facebook memory of your 5th birthday video. This very day, just 3 years earlier. You were magnificent. Magnificently beautiful. Magnificently adorable. Magnificently hilarious.  You spoke, while grinning with delight, with confidence and humor and a sense of wisdom beyond your years. You were still 4 at that moment with just hours remaining until you were the "whole hand."  Your eyes were filled with warmth and sunshine and happiness. Your voice was raspy with imperfect words. Your thoughts were pure and real and amusing and, somehow, even profound...for a pre-schooler. Watching it brought me right back to that moment and I was delighted by the memory.

                                    

Then, when I thought about it, I was delighted all over again. Because, Turner, you are still very much that same boy.  This is proven not only by your same selection of favorite colors (that includes nearly the whole rainbow) but is proven everyday in the person you are.  You are that same sweet, smart, funny kid.  Your face looks exactly the same, your mannerisms are still as precise, and you're just as thoughtful and calculated in your words as you were then.

8!  8 is my favorite number and, perhaps not by coincidence, my favorite age. Eight is the brink of big boy hood while hanging on to the end of the little boy life. 8 gets jokes told by his big brothers while still enjoying some of his baby brother's toys.  8 is independent and capable yet still needing cuddles and attention.  8 is full of conversation and opinions and also full of hugs and kisses.  8 has friends and social activities but doesn't need entertainment all of the time and isn't expecting a full social calendar.  8 has more confidence in his abilities and is more willing to try new things. 8, as they often say, is great.

You are now in 2nd grade.  Your teacher, Mrs. Rowan, left on maternity leave in November and Mrs. Demusz has taken over.  You seem to really love 2nd grade and have settled in nicely to your friends and school life.  You like math and usually do pretty well with it but struggle a bit with your reading, something we are working on. We celebrated your 8th birthday, over Christmas Break, with your school friends at a really awesome virtual reality gaming center.  Everyone had a great time. I love seeing you amongst your peers.  Then, we will celebrate with the family on Sunday.

In so many ways you are still the same boy you always were.  There is nobody I can count on more than you to lend a helping hand or to know which way is up or where something is or where it belongs.  There is no one who knows the rules better or insists more that they be followed (even if you yourself don't want to always follow them!)  You love to run errands with both daddy and I and just want to be involved and be included.  You are curious and ask a lot of questions, and you often force those you are asking to think deeper and wider.  You are wise and have an intrinsic understanding about the world.  You love to sing and to dance and to listen to music and have been known to stop what you are doing just to bust out a few moves or a few lines Of song and then continue on with whatever it was you were doing before the music in your head started.  You like to play games and you like to be with us.  And, Turner, we all love to be with you, too.

In the recent past you have gotten more competitive and more aggressive and more physical, which is a change from the 5 year old who played soccer and would not dare try to take a ball away from the other team.  You started playing basketball this year and are having so much fun. You love going to the practices and love to practice at home and tell us what you learned.  Your first game is coming up this weekend and you are, we all are, very excited.  Your team consists mostly of 2nd graders from Richboro Elementary school so it is even more fun for you to play with your friends.  When we play basketball at home you have a good shot, aren't afraid to get in on the play, and have been known to win Knockout and Horse on many occasion.




You are also considering playing baseball this coming Spring.  We will have to see what you decide....speaking of decisions, you are still not a very good decision maker.  Your indecisiveness is based on your desire to never disappoint anybody and I think you are worried that you could choose "Wrong!"  There is very rarely a wrong choice in the decisions you have to make and you will never disappoint by choosing what is best for you instead of deciding based on what is best for others.  But, that is who you are, considerate, empathetic, concerned and thoughtful. These are not often traits found in children yet these are exactly the traits that make up a large part of who you are.

In the coming week you will begin guitar lessons, a hanukkah and birthday present given to you by so many.   You have been asking to play guitar for some time and I am excited for you to begin. Not only do you have a love for music but you have a way of committing yourself to your passions and becoming determined to be great at whatever is.  I hope you find a real connection to the music world and guitar becomes a thing you love.

You seem to make friends easily and get along well with most people (except for Ryder, at times!) and though you have a long list of 2nd grade friends (Chase, Grayson, Michael, Gavin, Alex, Billy, Zachary, Jake, Jagger, and Bram to name a few,) you are most often found hanging out with and interacting with the 5th graders.  Many of Chase and Ryder's closest friends consider you a friend, too, and it is pretty amazing to witness the bonds that you are able to form.

You are a little brother that loves to instigate and show your muscle when necessary, perhaps reminding your big brothers that you are not so little anymore.  But, you are also a little brother who looks up adoringly at his big brothers and knows just how lucky he is to have them.  And, don't worry, buddy, they don't always say it, but it is clear that they know they have a very cool and awesome little brother in you.

As a big brother you make every effort possible to take care of Decker.  Toddlers can be difficult, particular in ways, and yet unable to communicate their needs.  But, even if Decker makes it tough, you continue to show him that you love him, are there for him, want to help him and teach him and just want to be with him.  It won't be long before the two of you are outside playing together and the bond you two will have will be like no other.

I haven't had you to the doctor yet for your well check up but you still seem to be on the taller side for your age (and a little on the heavier side, too!)  

Turner, you have always been a special little guy and no matter how old you get and how big you are I am confident that you will continue to hold on to that little piece of magic that makes you the special person that you are.  I hope that your kindness continues to grow, your sense of humor continues to flow, your eyes continue to shine, and your mind continues to expand.  There isn't one day that goes by that I am not so very proud of everything that you are and I will always support you being whoever it is you are going to be.

8 year old video

Happy birthday, Turner.  

I love you so....

Mommy

Turner at 7

Growing in to the birthday shirt a bit more every year

Flaming basketball cake

And Then God Spoke....

Shady Brook Farm, a local farm that we support, does a really cool thing.  Every Friday night from May- September that host a wine concert.  For free.  Well, the food and wine is not, but entry is.

So, we went.  Although friends of ours have gone regularly for years, we never have, mostly because our Friday nights in the summer have always been spent in Margate.  Until now.  The night was beautiful, the music was good, the wine...well, the wine was not so good but, still, it is better than no wine at all.  Everyone had a blast.  Particularly Turner.   He had about 10 friends there in addition to his brothers and it did not matter.  He didn't pay attention to one of them.  Not one.  Because he never took his eye off the band.  This is how he sat for over an hour, in utter amazement....

He literally didn't move.  Until....

He got up to jam with the band.  Because, yes, we had to bring his guitar with us once he found out there was going to be music.  I didn't actually pull it from the car until the band said he could come up with them.  He strummed and danced and sang some sort of tune as if he really was a part of the band.

Then, this...

Listening as if God had spoken.

Yep, Turner had the time of his life!!


PS:  All the kids had a great time and do we hope to go back again soon

Strap On!

Although my 2009 Honda Pilot comes fully equipped with the warning bell that beeps incessantly if your car is not in park and the seat belt is not fastened I do not need it!! No, that alarm is unnecessary because I have Turner. My OCD almost two year old who will shout, in his ever commanding voice, "strap, strap, strap, strap...." until my seat belt is securely fastened. Then he smiles, happy to know I am safe!
He has this same insistence with the guitar strap. If he is playing, the strap must be on. If I am playing, the strap must be on. If Todd, or the grandparents, or hs brothers are playing it, they must be appropriately strapped.
It's just one of those things, for Turner if there's a strap it must be on!!