A She Here, A Her There

All along I've said publically that I think Zygie is a boy. For 33 weeks of pregnancy I did not waver once, which is very unlike me.
Last week something happened in my subconscious. Perhaps the indecision which has been dormant within is showing its ugly head, perhaps my subconscious knows something, but while I continue to say boy when I think about it, when I am not thinking she's and her's roll off of my tongue.
In one conversation with my sister I mentioned "she" three times, saying something about when she was born. When I looked at thank you cards last week I only looked at girls cards for the first half hour, until I realized. And, while talking to the manicurist yesterday I referred to Zygie as a her. Yet, if you ask me what I think I will still say boy. Last night I had a dream she was a girl, she looked like me, had dimples like my mom, and only a little bit of brown hair. Two weeks ago I dreamt he was a boy, with a lot of brown hair and he weighed 6 pounds and was born 4 weeks early. Clearly my dreams are conflicted. But, my subconscious is definitely trying to tell me something, perhaps I should listen??

Committed to the possibilty!

It is no secret that since Todd and I found out we were pregnant we both have thought this will be our third son. This is not a wish, just simply a hunch. Although we both would love to have a daughter, three sons would be pretty fun too, so either way we are thrilled! Everyone says this hunch is because boys are all we know and I suppose they could be right about that, but for me, something inside of me just says boy!!! The way I feel is an indicator, which is similar to how I felt when I carried Chase and Ryder in their extra large home. The food I eat is an indicator, again similar to the mass consumption I experienced the first go round. The way I am carrying, may make you think girl, but then my gut feeling takes over and I am right back to thinking boy. And, truth is, I know none of this means anything, the way I feel or the way I carry, so I just go back to gut, which is bigger than average at the moment. The people around us that offer their opinions, both solicited and not, all say it is a girl. They say it with such conviction that they nearly have me convinced. It's as if they know something we don't. And so, as my gut tells me boy, my mind, pregnesia and all, is committed to the possibilty that Zygie will have two X chromosomes. What does committing to the possibilty mean? Well, for one I am thinking about our life. Two boys and a girl, incorporating pink into our blue world, and adding tea parties and princess parties to the sports and the trucks. I am trying to find us a name that we love enough for our baby girl AND we agree on and I am just letting myself realize that, sure, the possibilty does exist.