The Tovsky Trifecta

No, You are Just Mommy.

2012-01-24T21:31:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I call Ryder Rooster. He hates that name. I do it anyway. It started a long time ago when I would call him Ryder-roo. Then I got lazy and started calling him Roo. From there it became Rooster. He would argue "My name is not Rooster" to which I would ask, "What does a Rooster say?" and he would respond, "Cock-a-doodle doo!" And, I would say, "See, you are a rooster!" He would laugh, but still, never liked the name. I still call him that sometimes. I think it is cute.

Chase, being Chase, got upset one day that I didn't have a nickname like that for him. I understood and so we decided to come up with one. He sat there for a moment and then our conversation went like this:
CMT: Well, if he is Rooster then I should be Chicken.
ME: Chicken?
CMT: Yeah, it makes sense. Since Rooster and Ryder both have R's. And Chase and Chicken both have Ch's. And, both Chickens and Roosters are birds.
ME: Ah, I see. You are right, Chase. I mean, Chicken. Good point.

Then he paused. And Continued:
CMT: And, Turner. Turner should be Turkey. Ya know, because of the T's. And the bird thing.
ME: Yeah, I know. The T. And, the bird thing.

Pause for more thought.

ME: So, is that it? Chicken, and Turkey, and Rooster.
CMT: No, maybe Daddy should be Duck.
ME: Ok. What about me? Do I get a nickname?
CMT: You? No. You're just mommy.

I admit I was impressed by all of his reasoning and found his thought pattern to be quite interesting. But, still, I felt a little slighted. I mean couldn't he come up mockingbird? Or, meadowlark? Or, mallard? I guess, in t he end, mommies are always, just mommies.

A Monkey in Monkey Underwear!

2012-01-24T20:58:00.001-05:00

There were times, before this one, that I thought Turner was going to potty train. Like eight months ago. Or, back in September when I dropped the last diaper I had with me in the toilet. But, neither time was Turner really interested in spite of his having good control of his bladder. He told me this, whole heartedly, as he would shout "I am not ready to wear underwear!" It did not matter that Jagger wore underpants. Nor his brothers. He liked his diapers and rarely gave me a hard time to change him. So, I let him be.

I am not one who believes in forcing the situation. It is much easier just to wait until they are ready rather than stay house bound for three days and take the kid to the bathroom every 20 minutes. That way of training is just not for me, I didn't think. I did, admittedly, work the bribery angle a bit, as it was already decided, by him, that when he trained he, similarly to Ryder's potty present of a guitar strap, would get a case for his guitar. But, he could wait for it. Instead he pretended he had a case and would tell me, with a pointed finger, to "watch out for my case right there" as I would approach him while he was strumming his favorite instrument.

Then, on Martin Luther King day, ten days after his 3rd birthday, Ryder was sick. We were going to be in the house all day, anyway. With nothing to do. And, Turner is a kid who has control. A bit of obsessive control, sometimes, but that is another story. So, I had a lot of faith in him and decided that MLK day, a day of service, would be the day. We discussed it the night before and he jumped on Ryder's bed, with delight, chanting "I'm ready now, I am ready now!" And, when we woke up Monday morning we put him in underwear.

I became someone new for that particular Monday and did things that I think I may have said I would never do. Like move the Elmo potty down to the first floor and set a timer to take him to the bathroom every 30 minutes. Ew. And, we had a great day. After the second timer went off and I told him it was time to go he looked at me and said "I don't feel it yet. I don't have to go." And, being instantly reminded of Chase training, I believed him. And, I didn't set another timer and he spent the rest of the day telling me when "I feel it, mommy" and we would run to the potty and he would go. There was never an accident. Never an almost. Never an issue.

Until he had to poop. Then he pooped in his underwear. He told me he was going to. He even asked for privacy. But, when I grabbed him and put him on the potty he wouldn't go, he refused. We read, we sang, we played guitar and all the while he kept his bung hole shut! Then we got up and he pooped in his underwear.

The next day we went to the guitar store to "look" for case. He found the one he wants but knows he can't get it until he poops in the potty. At least once. He seems to be ok with waiting. I also went and bought him a fresh pack of Paul Frank monkey underwear because he didn't seem to think his brothers hand me down Superhero pants were good enough. Plus, it looks cute to have a little monkey in monkey underwear.

It's been a bit over a week now. Turner is 100% pee trained and has been since day 3. He has great control, can hold it for hours, and despite insisting on using only the Elmo potty at home (which is now ONLY in the bathroom) he will use a regular toilet when out of the house. He always tells me "I feel it" when he needs to go, and sometimes enjoys aiming for the cheerio (or the goldfish) when he stands. He even wakes up with dry diapers.

As for the pooping. I have tried to get him to go on the potty but he won't. He does, however, always ask for diapers, promises it is just to poop in, and then lets me change him and put his underwear right back on. It took Chase about 3 months before he put he pooped in the proper receptacle, so perhaps it will be the same for Turner. When he decides he wants a case, I suppose he will use the toilet. I still have almost a full case of diapers left so until they start to run out, I guess I can wait too.

It is a bittersweet moment as another milestone is achieved. A bittersweet moment as my baby boy grows up before me.

Short and Spikey

2012-01-24T20:04:00.001-05:00

We've got lots of hair in our family. Both sides of the family have A LOT of hair, and all types of hair. We've got straight, curly, frizzy, thick, thin, light, dark, darker, long, short, shorter. We pretty much have it all. Even the boys have 3 different color, types, and style hair.

Todd and I o~~ften~~ always disagree on hair cuts, hair styles, hair lengths, etc. It is an interesting situation. We've been disagreeing about the boys hair since they're first few haircuts. He likes it short to show off their faces. I like it longer, with style, and a little of bit their personality represented in their locks. Every 4 weeks we argued over it as I took them (or not) for yet another hair cut.

Around the time that Chase and Ryder turned 3 they started having their own opinions about their hair and every time we went for haircuts they directed Sarah Jane themself. Last year Ryder started getting even more passionate about his hair and would spend a good amount of time in front of the mirror, styling, gelling, combing. It became his thing, so much so that it even led to this hairy situation.

So, last week when Ryder (after only a little prompting from me) decided to cut his hair, everyone was surprised. Especially Todd. And, we no longer had to disagree about how their cuts look.

After 4 years of long and shaggy, Ryder cut his hair into a short and spikey do. A style that allows him to still use his gel and combs. A style that makes him look older, but no less in handsome! A style that, now, makes me think I have identical triplets.

Before

During.....though I think this could be Turner

After

A handsome and happy short haired Ryder

They all look alike, now

I won't be surprised if he, eventually, lets it grow again, but for now we love the way his hair looks short.

Welcome Home!

2012-01-16T22:47:00.004-05:00

All good things must end.  

And, many times, all good things begin again.  

Today, a little over ten years after its inception, Associated Staffing is closing its doors. It is not dead, just re-emerging within the walls of another space. Associated Staffing is bringing its successes, its experience, and its open Job Req's back to where it all began. Judge.  

The Judge Group. It is so very natural to say. It is, not only, where Todd began his career, learned his recruiting skills, and became the professional that he is, it is where Todd and I began. Almost 15 years ago. Secretly and, what we thought was discreetly, we sneaked kisses in the elevator then feigned friendship in front of friends and co-workers. I still smile from those memories.  

Judge. It was always a positive in his life. In my life. In our life. A place where you worked hard, you played hard, and in our case, you loved hard!

 Todd began there as a driven young man, worked hard, and succeeded. After 7 years there was change. The market changed, the environment changed, Todd changed. So, he offered up his most firm handshake, a direct look in the boss's eye, and his word of good faith, and left it all behind.

  He began again on his own. As his own boss, Todd found success and freedom, and the roller coaster ride of sole propeitorship. It was wonderful and it was prosperous but, as a decade passed, things changed. The market changed, the environment changed, Todd changed. Feeling the loss of camaraderie and craving the ability to teach others his strengths, he was left at a crossroads: grow his business, or join forces with a bigger beast.  

Judge offered him all of the opportunities he was looking for. And, more. The opportunity to work with other champions in the industry, an opportunity to return to the city, an opportunity to build a team and be a mentor, and an opportunity for growth for many, many years to come. Judge offered him an opportunity to come home!  

Today is his first day. Other than an email saying it was "awesome" I have no idea what Todd's experience will be. But, for me, its a new beginning after a full circle. It is comforting to know that, Judge being as they are, Todd will be taken care of, like family. It won't all be the same, in fact it is mostly different, but, still, when you go home after so much time the trees may be bigger, and the neighbors may have changed, and it isn't exactly how you left it, but it is, still, home!  

Good Luck, Todd

How Michael Jackson's Life is Relevant to Martin Luther King Day

2012-01-12T20:57:00.002-05:00

As Martin Luther King Day was approaching, the boys learned all about it at school. They learned how people were discriminated against because of the color of their skin, a lesson they have learned many times throughout their years at pre-school.

On one particular day, while there were some parents in the room observing, Mrs. Wagner was discussing with the class how sad it is that people would be treated differently because of their skin color. She went on to say, "You certainly cant change the color of your skin."

To which Chase raised his hand and said: "Only Michael Jackson can do that"

This got quite the laugh from all of the adults in the room.

A Letter to my Son on his 3rd Birthday!

2012-01-08T21:01:00.003-05:00

Cool as can be!

Dear Turner,

Today you are 3 years old. This is, indeed, a fact that I say with a frown leaving you to ask: "Mommy, why does it make you sad?" The answer, my dear, is this:
I am not sad, no, not sad at all. I am proud, and thrilled, and ever so touched by all that you are, and all that you become each day. I am happy to see you aging and thriving and growing and maturing. But, as every mommy knows, letting go of your baby, death grip and all, as he steps over the big boy threshold is ever so bittersweet.

In many ways, Turner, you are far beyond your years. You are wise, and funny, and bright, and compassionate. You are deliberate in your words and keenly aware of your surroundings. You are kind and sensitive and, still, tough and strong. Every day you amaze me with the sentences you use, and the context in which you use them, and the words you choose. You have a street smart about you that would indicate you were raised somewhere other than this in this bubble in which we raise you:)

You are social and friendly. Most kids your age don't even play "with" others and, yet, and you seem to embrace your friendships with passion and loyalty. You have an ability to be boisterous and silly and show signs of leadership. Then, just as easily, you can be quiet, and bashful, and shy, yet charming. You will stop talking and just smile, and let your eyes and grin speak volumes.

Over the last year you started school. Last year you didn't talk one time, probably because you were hot for teacher, but this year you are showing signs of a quiet leadership. At school, you are helpful, and behaved, and happy. You are compulsive about cleaning. You come home singing all of the songs and ask every morning if it is a school day. You love Ms. Kathryn and Ms. Eileen. Jagger is still your best friend. Bram is your buddy. And, your girlfriend is either Haley or Dalia, both who turn your cheeks red when I mention their name.

You are the creative type. You love to paint, you love to use stamps, and your favorite is to jam out on your guitar. You sing. ALL. DAY. LONG. Every song you can think of (most, which you learn in school) and will strum your guitar every chance you get. You set up your chair, your guitar with pick, your microphone, and your strum away. Tapping your foot and making sure I am listening the whole time.

We moved you to a bed in August, a transition that was easy and natural. You are still a good sleeper (though, lately, have been waking in the middle of the night and asking me to sleep with you) and still nap most days, though not ~~always~~ usually in your own bed. You are not a big TV watcher, though you will never pass up an episode of Mickey Mouse. Your new favorite show, however, is Imagination Movers.

Although you have been to a handful of movies (at the theater), you are not interested in sitting through a whole movie. And, each time, we have had to walk you into the hallway. You are a busy boy, who can entertain himself. You are independent and self-reliant when you want to be, and will beg for me to hold you and play with you at other times. You are the best errand buddy there is. You don't sit still much, but are not overly rambunctious and it seems you are always developing thoughts and ideas in your head.

Although the last three years have passed too quickly, since the time you were an infant you seemed like a big kid. Your persona and your smile can fill up a room in a big way. You are fun. Fun to be around, fun to have around. You have a grin, sometimes open mouthed sometimes closed, but always, always, noticed. By everyone. Not a day passes that I don't receive a compliment on your great smile.

You have a special relationship with your brothers, whom you call the guys, and they with you. It is such a nice, warm feeling to watch the three of you engage in your horse play and know that you love each other beyond any fighting and teasing could ever indicate. I love that you are not scared to fight back with them and I love that, in the end, all 3 of you look out for each other in a way that I could have only hoped for.

At your three year old check up you weighed in at 32 pounds and stood at 37 inches. That falls as exactly average for both. You are bigger and taller and thicker than either of your brothers were at this age. (Chase 30 pounds, 36 inches. Ryder 29 pounds 35 2/4 inches.)

Your 3rd birthday was celebrated in wonderful ways. We woke up on the morning of your birthday and you were greeted, instantly, by all of us with loud "happy birthdays" and "I love you's." You went to school where you were the shabbat boy. Me, daddy, and mom-mom Joan came to your classroom to share in the special day. You were adorably quiet but we all had fun. After, Chase and Ryder joined us for lunch at Jakes. That night the 5 of us celebrated with our traditional dinner show at Mt. Fuji. We had an absolute blast. When we came home we spent at least an hour playing and laughing and celebrating you. I hope you can remember even some of this birthday because it was so much fun. The next morning we had your birthday party at Dominic's Pizza with Tom the Magician. Amazingly you had asked, relentlessly, for a magical party. I suggested three or four other things for you (New Hope Train, Messy Play time, Gym) but all you wanted was a magician. I am glad I listened to you. Not only was Tom fantastic but you were an amazing apprentice. For all the tendencies you have to be shy when attention is on you, you reveled in the magic show and enjoyed every single second of the act. A great time was had by all.

This past year was not a very good one in general. We had some bad luck, a sad loss, some acts of nature against us, and a down economic year. Everyone has their crap. But, through it all, there was always you and your brothers. Your laughter echoing within our walls, your smile lighting up a room, your hugs, your kisses, your "I love you's," to remind us that our blessings don't always come to us by way of easy times, but by love and laughter and sons.

I wish I could freeze you just as you are today because every second with you is an adorable good time. But, I can't. So, instead, I enjoy these passing moments and look so very forward to what is ahead. To your continued growth. To your continued smiles. I look forward to continuing to learn from you as you learn from me. I look forward to hearing more of your music!! Everyday.

Every moment of every day I am reminded why I am the luckiest Mommy in the world and how very proud you make me.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Turner Luke!

I love you,

Mommy

Thankful!

2011-12-14T12:31:00.003-05:00

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite time of year. The fall air, the four day weekend, the over indulgence of food and drink, the chaos, and the lack of religious overtone makes it a near perfect holiday.

This years thanksgiving was no different. It began with a home cooked family breakfast around the kitchen table that in addition to eggs and bacon and an ample serving of grateful remarks, a huge dose of laughs, and a morning music provided by Turner! It was exactly the weekend brunch I dreamed about having.

We had a weekend guest of Aunt Bonnie, whose presence is always filled with laughter, and as a result had a turnstile of visitors, which was so nice. We also spent the day on Friday in the Poconos with much of my extended family and it was so wonderful being wth everyone, near and far, on a non-religious occasion. All the kids, and adults too, loved Boulder Field, being together, and our "Thanksgiving Dinner part 2" with the Levin's was really wonderful!

The holiday is also, not by coincidence, the weekend of our wedding anniversary.

My wedding was my most favorite day of my life. On Thanksgiving eve, and the biggest party night of the year, all of our closest family and friends were with us, making us ever so thankful.

The party was great, the room was beautiful, the view was perfect, and our future was bright. Looking into the eyes of my beloved and vowing forever was the easiest decision I had ever made in my life.

This year we celebrated our 8th year of marriage. 8 has always been my lucky number. With the way my luck has been this past year.....I hope my favorite number proves its worth in the next 12 months.

As I celebrate this day with Todd I reflect on our beginnings, our courtship, our honeymoon years, our life. I reflect on all that was, all that is, and wonder all that will be.

You see marriage is a lot of wonderful things. Most of which I wouldn't change. The give and take, the compromise, the arguments, the teamwork are all a part of love and marriage. But, I wouldn't say marriage is easy. Not all of the time.

When things are good in life, the pockets are deep, everyone is healthy, the kids are behaving, the bills aren't piled high, sure, that is when marriage is easy. That is when it is easy to hold your partner's hand and proclaim "I love you and this life that we built!"

But, what about when things are tough? When you're sick and tired and cranky? When your kids are all that and more? When money is tight? When tension is high, as is stress? When nearly every stroke of bad luck possible has hit you? That is the true test of a love. Can you still hear the laughter? Do you still get chilled by his touch? Do you still look into his eyes and know, that through it all, you chose right back then, you'd still make the same choice today?

I have never doubted my marriage. I have never doubted the man Todd is. I have never doubted our love. But, as I think about our anniversary, and look back on our "we've had better" year, I am even more sure than ever before. Holding Todd's hand through the good is rewarding, holding it through the bad is comforting. Sometimes life sucks, but it might as well suck with the people you love!

At our wedding

For the first time as husband and wife

Happy eight years, Todd. Happy Thanksgiving, All.

He Learned it from his Brothers

2011-12-13T21:01:00.001-05:00

Turner and I were walking around the shopping center of the Little Gym. We do this a lot after his class. We went to Learning Express, then to Pier 1, then we went up to the upper center to go to Bagel Junction. On our walk back there was a jack hammer in the parking lot by our car. It was loud, Turner does not like loud noises. He looked at me and said "mommy, that is so loud I can't hear myself think!" I, of course, cracked up and asked him who taught him to be so funny he said, "oh, Chase and Ryder did!"

I love that!!!

School Pictures

2011-11-21T21:10:00.002-05:00

School Pictures usually prove to be....interesting. Chase and Ryder's first school picture, though decent, had Chase looking like he had a jew-fro and Ryder's hair seemed to get a bit mussed along the way. A catastrophe by way of his 5 year old standards.

In 2009, I liked it at the time, apparently, but looking back am not sure why I liked Ryder's picture. Chase, however, did pretty well.

In 2010, their pictures were fantastic. Head shots. And, for a reason I can't explain, I never posted them to this blog. DUH! I will get them and scan them because they were the keepers.

So, here we are in 2011. This was Turner's first year with a school picture and Chase and Ryder's first year with school pictures through Council Rock. On Richboro Elementary School's picture day Chase was sick and missed it so he is now not in his Kindergarten picture. Awesome. And, Ryder, who dressed to the 9's (as usual) in suit and tie, and did his hair with a hardened gel look did not take his very best picture.

So, with that being said I was looking forward to "retakes" at Ohev. Turner, as influenced by Ryder, let me put gel in his hair and spike up the front. Ryder gelled his hair to his idea of perfection AND dosed out the pommade for the whole class. Chase wouldn't let me comb his hair at all because "I AM NOT LIKE RYDER, I DON'T WANT GEL" and was being rather difficult but still bared his best smile.
Here are the photos from this year's shoot:

Just for purposes of record Keeping:

KE 2011

Miss Stephanie Roth, Mrs. Kari Spivack

Jonah Hattingh, Eric Jaffee, Andrew Zazoff, Aaron

Drew Freeman, Chloe Connors, Eli Segal, Riana Dion, Micah Mercado, Ellie Betesh

Chase Tovsky, Drew Borden, Oren Fuchs, Ryder Tovsky,

The 2's

Eileen Kaufman, Jordana Shapiro, Sophia Adelman, Kathryn

Ethan Pachman, Haley Genovesi, Dalia Hattingh, Bram Kose

Manny Sigman, Jagger Fink, Turner Tovsky, Addison

WE ARE....PENN STATE!

2011-11-11T11:08:00.001-05:00

DISCLAIMER: Defending Penn State, or even Joe Paterno does not, in fact, make me, or any of us, pro-child abuse, sexual abuse, or pedophilia.

I went to Penn State. Main Campus. I lived, unhappily, in Happy Valley for four years.

Most alumni from the ever great STATE address that same first sentence boldly. Perhaps, in CAPS. Most alumni bleed blue and white.

I am not that alumna but not because I am not Penn State proud. I do believe Penn State, Happy Valley, is one of the greatest places on Earth. I chose Penn State because of the pride on the streets, the pride that travels across the country, across the ponds. I chose Penn State because, most of us, bleed blue and white.

I am not over-dosed with State pride solely because of the state of mind in which I existed during those 4 dark years. Lost, unsure, scared, and completely insecure of my present day and the future I was supposed to be preparing for, I was not able to revel in the glory of State. That glory, however, did not go unrecognized. And, somehow, despite the wall of steel I had built and the sticky resinous shield I carried, that glory managed to seep through. I am glad that it did.

I also was a student athlete. My stint was short lived. So short that I hardly earned the right to say “student athlete.” But, it was long enough for me to learn that being a Penn State student athlete earns you certain privileges. Sure, we were held to higher standard but, still, privileges come with the title. I am pretty confident that my first privilege was the acceptance letter I had received.

I put all of this out there so that I can be clear in my point of view as I write the rest of this….opinion.

I can state and re-state what the world is screaming…that this scandal is horrific. I can use any of a handful of adjectives and my point would be the same. I can shout just as loudly that these poor boys were victimized in ways that nobody ever should be; that these crimes are unforgivable; that there is no proper justice.

But all of that has been said.

So, where do I stand?

I stand behind Penn State. What has happened is disgraceful, unconscionable, and unforgivable. But, if I am to walk away with my back to my Alma Mater over this than I, like everyone else, am making Football larger than the University. It is not. It never was. It never will be. The fact that people believe it is, is the first offense that allowed all of these other crimes to come to be.

Sandusky is a heinous villain hardly worth my mention here. No good he has ever done can outweigh the crimes he has allegedly committed. He deserves to die.

I have mixed feelings on Joe Paterno, his role in this scandal, and his legacy. So much so that I have had a hard time properly stating my point. JoePa is a football coach, and a legend. He is the embodiment of everything Penn State is. Or was. He has dedicated his life to the University and, so it goes, he can dedicate his downfall to the University. He did report the “crimes” to the proper channels though he never went above their heads to proper authorities. Let’s say, for a minute, that he assumed that everyone did what they were supposed to do. He did. So should they. And so, he went on with his job of being football coach. I am not saying he could not have done more. I am not defending his actions nor his inactions. But, it is very easy to judge a situation that we were not in. It is easy to say what you would do until you are there, presented with issues that go way beyond anything we have read in grand jury reports, or through media scandals, or facebook statuses. And, as the facts indicate NOW, JoePa did not witness anything and he had no proof. One can’t go to the authorities on hearsay, despite that fact that it would be Joe Paterno saying so.

Although it may be weak, or far from the perfect standards of a legend, it is not illegal to act cowardice when one needs to be brave. Most people are cowards in spite of the tough talk they spill from the outside in. Still, the right course of action is Paterno being dismissed from football. From the University. His time has come. For better or worse.

And, so must the others. They all must walk away, step down, get fired. They must take that same pride in Penn State that they feel elevated them, that same pride that may have forced them to sweep such atrocities under the rug, and realize they are now causing more harm than good. And walk away. Goodbye.

As for the rest of us. The Alumni, the faculty, the students, and the future students. Those of us innocent of all moral and legal crimes related to this scandal. We must not walk away. Not now, not ever. Because it is of vital importance that we let the whole world know that Penn State is not just Sandusky, Curley, McQueary, Spanier, or Paterno. Penn State is not just football. Penn State is an institution of greatness above and beyond all of this and it is our responsibility to prove that. We must be brave and hold our heads up high because if we are not than we too are nothing more than cowards.

There are such things as good and evil, and we must burgeon with the good, the greatness of Penn State. Otherwise, we will perish with the evil. The evil does not represent us, it does not represent Penn State. Unless, of course, we let it.

Witness

2011-11-11T10:59:00.000-05:00

Last weekend I had the honor of signing the ketubah for Rob and Jamie. I was thrilled to witness their union and honored to be chosen, an allowance only acceptable by the fact that their ketubah was an inter-faith one. I have always loved Jamie and am so thrilled to have her in the family and am so happy that Rob and I continue to cherish our friendship even in our different adult lives.

At the rehearsal dinner I gave the toast below. I shook like a leaf the whole time but managed to deliver it clearly enough to induce proper laughs.

Their wedding was a blast and I am so happy we got to share in their memories.

For those who don’t know me, I am Rob’s cousin, Wendy. I’d like to thank Uncle Marc for having all of us here tonight. I’d also like to welcome the Fenerty’s to the family. Good Luck. There’s a lot of us.

Rob and I were more than just cousins growing up. Raised like brother and sister, twins in fact, there are few memories that don't involve him right by my side. We were best friends. We understood each other better than most, and argued better than most. Rob, as you all know, is a very good arguer!

Growing up, I've served as the skins for Rob's drumming practice, the target for his throwing practice, and the scratched victim of the Wolverine claws he believed he possessed. But, also thanks to Rob, I was inspired to read classic books, exposed to great music, and shown the power of a great debate.

Together, we've driven endless miles to nowhere, trekked through 8 countries, and skiied many mountains. Growing up, during high school, and even right through college we shared friends, good times, and laughs!

Because of all of this, I assumed that when it came time for Rob to marry that I would help choose his wife. This was a selfish assumption as I wanted to be sure that I would love her like he did. That she and I could be friends and our hanging out and our arguing could continue as it had. In fact, I thought I would just pick one of my friends for him. I had never discussed this with him and, instead, he went out and found himself a wife.

When Rob brought Jamie home there was never a doubt that she was perfect. We all fell in love with her also, and we kept our fingers crossed that she would one day be family. Their courtship was nothing short of… long

We all waited, so long in fact that we were starting to lose patience, so much so that I was considering choosing her over him had they parted ways.

But, over all of these years things have changed in Rob. For instance, now his tardiness has been reduced by half. Also, it turns out that Rob does actually have a bedroom floor. And, we have all benefitted from the fact that Rob cooks more often now that he has someone to cook for. And, when Rob was single he watched all 82 games of the Flyers live or on DVR. And, now that he has Jamie, he STILL watches all 82 games of the Flyers live or on DVR.

On behalf of Todd and myself, and perhaps the Bernstein family, I'd like to thank the Fenertys for giving Rob a place of his own to stay at the shore. Of course, I think it will take the desire of a kid of his own for him to actually want to spend time on the beach.

Rob, I thank you for finally proposing. I thank you for choosing a girl I can call my cousin, my pseudo sister in law, my friend. And, I thank you for not making me choose between you!

Jamie, thank you for your patience and for welcoming our tight knit family into your heart with wide open arms. I hope your welcoming from me and from all of us has been just as wide

To you both, Todd and I, and Chase, Ryder and Turner, love you and are so excited to be a part of this wonderful new chapter in your life.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T22:42:00.000-04:00

Halloween is highly anticipated every year. Around November 5th Ryder starts thinking about what costume he wants to wear next year. This year costumes were chosen, officially, about 3 weeks out.

Chase chose Bumblebee the transformer, which was a surprising choice. Turner's Smurf costume was chosen by me when he didn't have an opinion. Because he knows I love the Smurfs, and because he saw the movie, he was perfectly happy dressing as the cute little blue guy. Ryder chose Michael Jackson. He has a new obsession with the King of Pop and his costume had to be altered and corrected before he would wear it. My mom had to take apart and resew the glove so it would fit him, and the cheesy pull-over coat was less than perfect for Ryder because he really wanted the REAL jacket, THAT ZIPS. I told him I wanted the real one too, back when MJ wore it.

Halloween included a week in advance pumpkin picking, a snowtober day of carving, a party at The Little Gym, a (lame) Halloween Parade at the elementary school, and a night full of trick or treating with our neighbors. Everyone had a blast.

Ryder busting out the moves!

Neighbors

Our pumpkins: Phineas (without the Ferb,) A "don't confuse me for Pooh" Mickey, and Jayden the red Power Ranger Samurai's fire symbol. All chosen by the boys themseles.

The best part of the night...laying out the candy.

Until next year:

Read about Halloween's past:

Halloween 2007

Halloween 2008

Halloween 2009

Halloween 2010

Dork!!

2011-11-02T22:12:00.001-04:00

I am a biased mom and I think my sons are gorgeous. All of them. I think they each offer something different to the eye and to the camera. Although we are constantly complimented on each of the boys, Ryder, however, has always been the pretty boy. The one that people notice, if they have to choose one. Lately, with his desire for perfect clothes and perfect hair, he may be in the fast lane to Hollywood.

But, then, he comes home with THIS school picture. His hair is gelled, he is wearing a shirt, a tie, and a vest. The combination could be awesome, or well....the opposite of that. In this case, when you add the goofiest smile you can come up with you get....the class dork! I never thought that would be his title but if you look at the Kindergarten picture it is possible that this is the consensus.

We will be grateful he has another chance when he takes the enrichment picture at Ohev. We will show this picture to his girlfriends, at his bar mitzvah, when he is crowned prom king, or just at his wedding. But, for now, we will just laugh about it.

Ryder had no opinion that he spoke of regarding this photo:

Chase missed picture day due to an illness. He did not seem upset about it and I suppose being: NOT PICTURED HERE is a slight promotion from class dork?

A Hairy Situation

2011-11-02T21:53:00.001-04:00

Ryder. Ryder has always had a fashion sense. From his costumes, to his ties, to his choice in shoes and belts, there was hardly a day that did not come with some sort of fashion war. A war I believed was fought by girls. Over the years I have learned to handle his opinionated wardrobing and we have come to an understanding that makes our mornings much easier. More often than not he wears what he wants and it will, without a doubt, have a unique look to it. Down to the socks. He actually does a very good job, and unique or not, he almost always looks handsome.

But, recently, Ryder has also grown ~~obsessed~~ passionate about his hair. It began innocently enough choosing to gel his hair back on occasion to complete the Superman costume. But the gel and the man of steel costume are no longer a package deal and most days Ryder spends a good portion of his morning routine in front of the mirror. Wetting. Gelling. Combing. Parting. Brushing. Primping.

He is actually getting quite good at styling his mane and I can't say I am disappointed that he likes to look good, though I never dreamed I would raise a metrosexual.

But, things got interesting the other day when I received this part of an email from Ryder's elementary school teacher:

Well, today Ryder went into the bathroom, I thought he needed to go, and came out with his head soaking wet and soap in his hair. His shirt was wet as well so he went to the nurse to change shirt. He told me he wet his hair because he forgot to put gel in his hair today and he thought this would work. I talked to him about this and said that he looks great either with or without gel and that he can not do that again and we also agreed that if he forgets to put gel in that he has to leave his hair how it is. He was good about getting his work done and his focus was ok. But he did need a few reminders but he was a little distracted with his new shirt and wet hair.

For the record, Ryder told me about the incident BEFORE I received the email. But, I was unsure of what he was actually saying until I read it in the teacher's words. I admit it, I laughed at first. I don't want to have a disrespectful kid, and I certainly am not raising a child to think that education is not important, but I laughed that he took the time to do his hair, in the bathroom, during class. How could you not? I am pretty confident that it wasn't Ryder's intention when he went to the bathroom. Any one who knows him knows he pees.... A LOT. Likely, he went to the bathroom to actually use the toilet, but when he looked in the mirror he was unhappy with how his hair looked. So, he did something about it. I am not sure when this hairanoia took over my kindergartners mind, but clearly he and I don't share THAT same gene.

I didn't let Ryder know how hilarious I found this situation, but I didn't pretend that he dumped an entire bottle of Walnut oil on the floor either. Instead, I addressed the matter sternly but calmly and let him know that the classroom is not the time nor the place to do his hair (hold back the laughter,) that he should save his primping for home (tongue in cheek,) and that it is important he realize that everybody in the classroom is trying to learn and he has to respect their time as well. Then I pulled the discipline card and told him that if he chooses, again, to disrupt the class with such hair antics that I will take him to Sarah Jane (our hair-dresser) and have her cut it all off. SHORTER THAN TURNERS. He said he didn't want that and I don't believe he was trying to cause a problem. He also told me that Mrs. Delfini said that if it ever happened again he would lose his bathroom privilege, which would actually cause greater problems.

Truth be told, I can't guarantee it won't happen again. He won't intend to, but, he will glance in the mirror and see an untamed cowlick or an uneven part and there will be no telling what will happen next. Hopefully, it won't involve flooding out the bathroom.

My Brother Did it!

2011-10-25T22:05:00.002-04:00

Admission of guilt does not come easily by the boys. Chase will tell a lie somewhere between little white and not so white as to what happened. Ryder pleads the 5th, doesn't say a word, and looks at you with big eyes of wonder. Todd and I have gotten good at discerning truths. When in doubt we ask Turner who, somehow, is the most accurate of reporters and a rule follower.
Tonight we went to dinner and I allowed Chase to take in the DSI which, just so happened to be Ryder's. He played for a bit before dinner came, then put it away as instructed upon the foods arrival. After the dinner he did not eat he returned to the gaming system only for its batteries to run out. He put it aside.

I've made it clear since the day the boys got their DSI's that if they are careless and lose them or break them they WILL NOT be replaced.

So, after dinner we left the restaurant. And, as usual it took us some time to get out of the parking lot. Lucky it did, because our kind waitress came running out, DSI in hand, telling us we forgot it.

I looked at Chase, knowing it was he who had forgotten it. He looked at Ryder then said "look, it's Ryder's!". Which it was, technically.

I asked calmly, "which of you left the DSI inside" the two boys looked at me considering the question, looked at each other, and in the most twin-like gesture of their lives, they each pointed an outstretched finger on a limp wrist at the other one. They didn't say a word. I, being the queen of discipline, had the natural response. I laughed. Loud. It was funny. They hardly ever have the moment of "exactness" and yet, here it was, over the dumbest of matters.

After my laughter subsided I reminded Chase that he took it in to the restaurant, and that he was lucky our server got it to us or he would have to sacrifice his DSI to his brother.

I wish I had a picture of the moment because these words are hardy emphasizing the humor.

Every now and again, in spite of their differences, the do remind me that they are in fact twins!!

The Guys

2011-10-17T21:30:00.003-04:00

Ryder calls Turner Buggy. He says he got this nickname from us but we don't use it with any consistency. Not like Ryder, who I don't think has called his younger brother by his given name in quite some time.

Turner refers to himself as Buggy when he is talking to or about Ryder. Which is too cute for words. Turner also calls his brothers "the guys!" I want the guys to see it. I want the guys to watch with me. I want the guys to play with me. When will the guys be home from school. I refer to them as his brothers, but I suppose, I should take a cue from my youngest and realize that Turner is just one of the guys!

Last Year of his Thirties

2011-10-17T21:27:00.001-04:00

We had a blast celebrating Todd's 39th.

Is this how Peter North was as a Toddler?

2011-09-24T15:27:00.002-04:00

Turner is hilarious. He has a personality that will certainly precede him as he gets older. He can be the entertainment in the room or be red-faced and shy depending on who is around. One area where Turner is not shy is below the belt. It must be a boy thing since I know he is not too different from his brothers, but he is obsessed with his penis. He loves to put his hand in his diaper and he loves to pull his penis out. He loves to question me about it:
"Mommy, why is it sticking straight up?" My standard answer is that he must have to pee, but I want to tell him that if he continues to touch it all of the time it will always stick straight up.

The other day we were having dance party he stopped mid-stride to say "ok, now take your pants off!"

Of course I laughed but I can't help but be mildly concerned that this is how Peter North may have been as a 2 year old.

Big Boy Bed

2011-09-24T15:21:00.001-04:00

Around the time Turner turned 2 he started asking for a bed. Like his brothers. On many nights he would beg his way out of his crib and would sleep, happily, in the guest room bed.

I was in no hurry to get him out of his crib, nor out of his diapers, but I thought a little motivation would be a good thing. So, I told him that when he started using the potty he could have a bed. This shut him up for a while since he had no interest in the potty, at all. Except maybe to stand at one, which I think had more to do with his interest in his penis than in the potty itself.

On August 1st Todd began working from home again. Which means our guest room became his office and the bed....was moved to Turner's room. No big ceremony. No potty peeing. No hyped up excitement. He just went to bed in a crib on July 31st. And on August 1st he went to bed in a queen-sized bed. He wasn't upset about it but didn't seem overly excited, either, about giving up his crib. He did great on the first night, and every night since.

My original plan was to paint his room and give him the bed as a surprise when he was trained. So, now, we tell him when he is trained he can have his room painted. This is actually exciting to him.

Here is what his big boy bed looks like:

6 weeks later he sleeps well, he naps well, and he has learned that a bed that big for a boy his size is perfect for jumping on!!!

Potty Training....Again!

2011-09-24T15:06:00.002-04:00

I am in no real hurry for Turner to potty train. This is probably a continued attempt at holding on to his babyhood with a death grip, but I convince myself it is because it is easier. And, it is.

About six months ago Turner showed an interest in underwear. And, in standing at the potty. He showed absolutely no interest at in in actually peeing it. Since then, there has been nothing. Until the other day.

We went out for our traditional birthday dinner show to celebrate Todd's last year in his 30's. I took Chase to the bathroom and, as usual, Turner insisted on coming. Once there, he told me to change his diaper. I had sent Todd to the car to get me a diaper and the one he gave me was resting on top of the toilet paper cannister because at that moment Turner decided he wanted to sit on the potty. I knew it would be a useless cause but....I layered the seat with too thin toilet paper and set his toosh down. He sat there for a few seconds, then said "Mommy, this just isn't working out!"

His phrasing had me laughing so hard that, as you'd figure, the only diaper we had fell into the toilet.

Uh-Oh!

Turner wanted me to fish it out, which I did as to not clog the toilet, but then threw it away, of course.

Turner is a good boy, he follows instructions and doesn't want to cause too much trouble. Most of the time. I got down to his level, I looked in his eyes and said, "Turner, you're going to have to go without a diaper until we get home. Try not to pee in your jeans. If you have to go pee-pee, just tell mommy, and I will take you to the bathroom!"

These instructions seemed so simple and easy and then it dawned on me I was talking to an untrained 2 year old.

"Ok, Mommy!" Was all he said.

We returned to the table where he told his brothers and his daddy, with a laugh, how mommy dropped his diaper in the toilet. We were at the restaurant another 30 minutes and had 3 return trips to the potty. We had exactly ZERO pees in the potty and the same number in his pants. That was a win for me.

When we returned to the car I found another diaper. I put it on Turner and we headed home. He peed in his diaper and announced it, then he apologized for not peeing in the potty. Curiously, I looked at him and thought, perhaps we are on to something.

When we got home he went directly to the potty, sat, and peed. He was so excited he showed all of us, gave us each hugs, and chewed happily on his m&m's. A part of me thought we were done. He was trained.

It is 5 days later. Turner is using the potty with an increased consistency and seems to have good control of his bladder. Sometimes he wants to pee in his diaper, sometimes in the potty, and it seems he is working up to a level of comfort for himself that will make him give up the diapers all together. He still gets excited each and every time and does not want to wear underwear at all. He seems to be scared, or uninterested, or both, to have an accident of any kind. Turner is the type of kid that when he decides to wear the underwear he will be ready. No caution to the wind in that boy.

Although I am not really in any rush, it would kind of be nice to NOT have to buy another case of diapers when I run out of these last 44.

Keep you posted.

2011 Portraits

2011-09-16T12:40:00.001-04:00

These are my tough guys. All wife beaters and macho. You should be scared. But, not really. Anyone who knows them knows they are harmless. But, still, this picture cracks me up. This was the favorite shot from this years portraits. Chase and Ryder are 5, Turner is 2 1/2. See below for other photos.

First Date

2011-09-13T21:52:00.001-04:00

Ryder took me on a date. Really. Just he and I.

Let me back up. Not too long ago Ryder said:

"Mommy, is 12 old enough to date?"

Intrigued, I answered "Yes. 5 is old enough if there is someone you want to date. Is there?"

He smiled, his eyes got big, he nodded his head, "Uh-huh!"

I blushed a little, thinking it was Zoe his adorable new crush at school, when he said with a pointed finger, "you, mommy!"

I couldn't deny my boy his first date. And, admittedly, I was flattered and happy to still be his first love.
So we went. I used this opportunity to teach Ryder about the ways of dating. I am not old-fashioned nor am I conservative. When I was dating acts of chivalry were not that high on my list of expectations, but I do feel the absolute need to raise the boys as complete gentlemen. Farting, burping, pooping gentlemen.

He wanted to go to Jakes, a local favorite. He wanted me to drive because, "I am too little to drive, mom!" On our date, and after appropriate instructional prompts, Ryder opened the door for me. He pulled out my chair. He asked me what I wanted to eat and then ordered for me first, then himself.

We ate, we laughed, we listened to the music. He was thrilled that Jakes played both Neil Young and Michael Jackson over their system. We had a great time.

When the bill came, he took my credit card and handed it to the server and waited patiently for the receipt, which he signed with his near perfect penmanship just before I did.

We walked out of the restaurant holding hands and I thanked him with a great big hug and a kiss.

I know it won't always be this way, I know he won't even want my advice, let alone want me around. So, I will hold on to our first date with fond memory. I hope he continues to want to charm the ladies with gentlemanly and respectable ways. He will certainly break some hearts!

Ten Years Later....

2011-09-11T10:18:00.001-04:00

Photo courtesy of Photobucket

The media reminds us incessantly. Storefronts have their advertising. Flags are being raised and red, white, and blue is coloring the streets.

Ten years.

It has been a whole decade since the eleventh day of September became 9/11 and I don't think one of us actually needs a reminder because none of us could ever forget. We won't forget. We remember where we were and what we were doing with detail, and yet most of us can't remember why we opened the fridge. OK, maybe that is just me!

I know that everything changed that day. I know that each of us that lived through it has a visual tattooed in our minds; A perma-chill in our spines; A stashed tear ready to shed. I know, if you are like me, you can't go to the top floor of a sky-scraper without thinking: "how did they....?;" or "what if...?" I know we see the New York skyline and know there is a hole where towers once stood. I know that flying will never, ever be the same, even if they do, someday, provide meals and allow our luggage to fly free. I know all of this is true. Yet, really, did everything change?

Not for me. Not for most of us, the fortunate majority, who didn't lose a loved one. We continue on with our lives. But there are children who will turn 10 in the next 12 months all of whom were born into this world without a father. There are wives who are raising their kids alone. There are parents who were forced to bury children. There are families mourning heroes who survived the attacks but not the search and recovery. These lives were altered, impacted, terrorized, in a way that I could never understand.

Where I live the talk of the town is the Eagles and their highly anticipated season opener. Between discussing the over-under and the Superbowl potential there is the quick and casual mention of 9/11 and the "Where were you?" conversation. In 2002, nobody would book a celebration on 9/11. Ten years later there is no need for a discount in order celebrate on that day. Today I alone have a township fair and a birthday party and we will go on with our day as if it is any other. We will have some morning fun, we will watch football, we will eat too much cake. We may take moment of silence to remember, and I hope we all do, then we will, likely, return to the beer we are chugging.

And, I suppose, that is OK. Because if 9/11 didn't change everything it did make us keenly aware of how a seemingly perfect day can be the farthest thing from. It did teach us, or it should have, that in several seconds everything you ever knew can become something you never knew and all you can do is cherish what you have. NOW.

Today, and every day after, just like every day since, I want to hug my loved ones, cherish their smiles, capture their laughter and realize that nobody, nothing, can take this moment away from me. Away from my heart.

Kindergarten!

2011-09-02T21:35:00.002-04:00

I am not usually a basket-case. There is a long list of things you can call me: forgetful, sarcastic, late, to name a few. But I am normally not a basket-case. I don't tend to get worked up over little things and I often assume things are going to work out as they are supposed to.

Chase and Ryder started Kindergarten on Tuesday. It was one day late due to the aftermath of Irene.
The night before (really, weeks before) the excitement started to build. The boys went to bed hours past their bedtime because they couldn't stop jumping on their beds.

They picked out their clothes. Ryder had picked out his clothes weeks in advance and was so excited that he could wear a tie on his first day. Then laid in bed, together, apart, together, apart. They did finally fall asleep. I don't know what time. They did sleep in separate beds.

The morning of I had a glimpse of what high school would be like since I had to wake them up. When I did, Ryder rolled over, pulled his blanket over his head and gave me a groan that sounded like a dying frog. Chase took a moment, a slow moment, then smiled and jumped out of bed, needing to be the first one ready.

The boys dressed themselves, wet, combed and gelled their own hair. Their hair looked much better than my bathroom. After a breakfast they didn't eat they ran outside for some pictures before heading to the bus stop. The bus was the biggest part of their excitement. Riding the big yellow school bus that, somehow, still, in this day and age, you can get away with riding without seatbelts, is a a huge milestone into big boyhood and that was, probably, the thing they were most excited for.

They rushed onto the bus, in front of the big kids, they never gave me hugs, not kisses, not even goodbyes (though, Chase did turn around and wave....to Todd!) And, they were off.

And something didn't sit right for me. Maybe it was that my babies were now in Kindergarten. Maybe it was that they, for the first time, were being separated in school. Maybe it was that my son was wearing a tie to school, on his first day of Kindergarten, and I feared he may get beat up. Maybe it was knowing my boys were growing up, quickly, and didn't want to hug their mommy anymore.

In the end I think it was mommy's intuition for the fiasco that was about to happen.

The bus stop to school is right in front of our house. This is a convenience that I know will prove its worth time and again as the years pass. Their bus stop on the way home is at Ohev Shalom. This is because you can only choose one stop and the boys will be doing enrichment there three days a week. Ohev does not start until next week. I told the boys several times that they were to go there after school and that I would meet them. Yet, I was nervous. I called the school to verify that this was the proper arrangement. That they would, indeed, be dropped off at Ohev even though school was not in session. They told me that was ABSOLUTELY the case. In an out of character moment, I called twice, not convinced this was going to run smoothly.

I arrived at Ohev at 11:05. The bus was not expected until 11:50. I wasn't having a dyslexic moment...I was just nervous and arrived early. Very out of character. While waiting for those 45 minutes I paced. Paced. I was starting to think my body had been taken over by someone who didn't fly by the seat of her pants. It turns out, I had reason to be nervous. I knew what was going to happen before it did. The bus driver did not drop the boys off at Ohev. Even after I called a third time and they told me to stay put.
It was 1.5 hours before I found my sons, my new kindergartners. It was 1.5 hours later that I picked them up at Richboro Elementary School. It was 1.5 hours later that I turned into a complete basket-case.

Like I said, I am not usually like that. Perhaps it was the final straw on the not-so-great year we have been having. Or it could have just been that my kids were lost for over an hour when they were under the care of their school. It's just not supposed to happen that way.

In the end, we are all over it. The boys recovered much faster than I did, as usual. I had never been so grateful to have twins as I was during that mess, thrilled that they weren't alone for what they said was a "very long bus ride!"

Although this is a first day of Kindergarten I will not soon forget, for them it was an otherwise great day. They both seemed happy with their teachers and their classes. Neither of them seemed to be upset that they were separated. They each made a new friend. And, they both came home telling stories. Particularly Ryder, who had much more to say on the topic than chatterbox Chase.

I hope they have a fantastic year. I hope they make new friends and learn a lot. I hope they carve their own paths and mold their own interests. I hope that there is never another bussing snafu again. I am not sure I can handle it.

Boys, you may be the little guys in the big school but you'll never be the little fish. I have no doubt of all that you will be and all that you will accomplish and this is just one small step towards all that you deserve. I am so very proud of both you and I love you so!!!

Not sure if this video portrays their actual excitement, but.....

Poconos and Boulder Field!

2011-08-23T23:16:00.004-04:00

Camps over. School hasn't started. The two weeks between the two can be ~~long~~ fun! This year, Todd was unable to break away from work for any good amount of time, so the boys and I had a pseudo-vacation without the biggest guy in the house. We all missed him, particularly Turner, who asked for Daddy and for Toddy at least a dozen times a day, but we had fun.

We began with a second annual trip to the Poconos and Boulder Field. This time with the Finks. Last year, when we went with the Betesh's, the kids had a blast. As a result, Chase and Ryder asked time and again if we could go back to the Poconos. Luckily, Uncle Marc was kind enough to lend us his place.

After taking the drive with my chatterboxes, and spending three hours playing DJ to their song demands, I was ready for a breath of fresh, mountainous air. But, before I got that, we went 6 kids, 2 moms to the supermarket. That was quite the experience. Luckily, the state store was right next door.

Once we got the to house and allowed the kids the time they needed to check out their surroundings and capture the beauty of the park like setting, we walked to Aunt Barbara's house to spend some time by the lake. The walk itself was an adventure where they kids picked up sticks and leaves and Ryder even noticed that "the air up here smells so awesome!" When we got to the lake the kids decided, on a whim, to swim. In their underwear.

Memories are built on moments like these. Kids being kids, laughing, having absolutely no regard for modesty or dirty lakes. Each of them was just being themself as they frolicked, as they splashed, as they laughed. Turner was just being Turner as he pulled wipe after wipe from the packet to clean the outdoor furniture.

The kids had a great time together. Chase, Ryder and Lilly all just wanted to be naked together, a fact that will cause much more concern in a few years. Lilly took no issue with being the only girl and put on her hiking boots and lake swimming undies and laid backpack wonderfully. She even found the humor in poop and boogies. Jagger and Turner were just so happy to have a sleepover party with their best buddy. Late nights, fun movies, ice cream. Sounds fun to any kid. Any adult, really.

The next day we headed to Boulder field. What an amazing sight to see. There, the boys climbed rocks, further than I had expected and I marveled at the beauty of my boys enjoying nature. We picnicked on the rocks before heading home.

By weekends end the kids were exhausted (as were the moms) but had had a blast. And, had bonded over naked bodies and fart sounds, bringing their friendship to a whole new level.

The next day we headed, in caravan, down to Margate.

Here are some more pictures of our adventure.

ABC, 123

2011-08-13T15:28:00.000-04:00

Every summer the Busy Bees at Briarwood Day Camp perform a camp show. Being that this is our first summer, this was a new experience for us. The boys were excited about from the get go and walked around the house singing their songs, which included ABC by the Jackson 5.

When the boys first started singing the song at home they couldn't believe that I KNEW who the Jackson 5 were. And better, that I would have their CD. (Really, it was Todd's but...) They were so excited when I played the CD for them and what followed was an hour lesson (you tube footage ad nauseum included) of the wonder that was known as Michael Jackson.

As they prepared, daily, for their Busy Bee show they wouldn't share much else with me. Instead I had to be surprised when I got there. They were the "boys from Detroit" and they all looked adorable with their 'hawks and their slicked back hair. For Ryder it was all part of dressing up and he loves to gel his hair back. For Chase, he was a trooper, but warned me he doesn't prefer to wear his hear spiked up (I ask him to spike it up all of the time, he always says no!)

The show was cute, though I will stick to my guns and say all children's show that involve their participation should be limited to 60 seconds. After that, you lose them one by one. After, there was a breakfast which allowed us an opportunity to chat with the counselors and the other boys' parents. Also, it was a great opportunity to see the boys in the element of Briarwood.

Here are some photos from the day:

The Dragonflies from Detroit

Silly Campers

2011-08-10T21:35:00.002-04:00

This picture of Eric Jaffee, Oren Fuchs, Ryder, Hudson Denlein, and Chase is one of my favorites.
It was taken at the Busy Breakfast after the Busy Bee show. I love this photo because, to me, it sums up camp. Boys being silly, having fun, being campers. In it I can get a feel for their personalities, for the friendships they are forming, for the fun times they are having.

We don't know what will come of their friendship as they get older, go to school, whether they choose to return to camp, but this Summer, at this moment, they are having the time of their lives.

A Letter to my Sons on their 5th Birthday!

2011-07-30T17:08:00.007-04:00

Dear Chase and Ryder,

Good morning, birthday boy!

Rise and shine you are 5!

Happy 5th birthday! Although the category 5-U still implies you are a baby (and also has me dreading 6) there are very few indicators that you are such. Mostly over the last year you have grown and matured into these wonderful big kids who, despite any trend on the street, are as ready for Kindergarten as kids who fall at the beginning of the

cut-off.

This school year, Pre-K, with Ms. Liz and Ms. Nadine, was a fantastic year where you simultaneously broadened your knowledge and honed in on the depth of your individual passions. You both had an opportunity to find your individuality and you slowly began to carve your own paths. The school year was great, with amazing teachers and amazing kids, and concluded with a graduation that tore on my heartstrings. This summer you are spending your very first summer at Briarwood Day Camp where you are both happier than I even anticipated.

First day at Briarwood

Your 5^th birthday was celebrated at camp, where you brought in a cookie cake for your bunk. That evening we did our traditional dinner show, at Mt. Fuji, and we all had a blast.

Your party was a Power Rangers Soccer party with all of your friends, at our house, in the heat. Everybody really seemed to enjoy themselves. Ryder spent most of the day dressed as the red Ranger and Chase enjoyed the soccer drills taught by the CRUSA instructor.

Ever since your actual day you take ever opportunity to tell the whole world that you are now 5.

This was a year of heat waves in the summer and blizzards in the winter. We had very little of spring and fall. Sadly, we lost Bubbie Evie this year and telling you was one of the hardest things daddy and I ever had to do as parents. As the inquisitive boys that you are you asked a lot of questions, and still do months later. Of course there was mild comic relief when you both wanted to know what I would wear to the funeral.

The Phillies never made it to the World Series, though they were in the play-offs, and the Flyers, who gave us high hopes, fell short in the play-offs as well. The Social Network, the movie that is about Facebook, won the Academy Award.

Ryder, as the years pass you become an even greater spirit. You are impassioned, and loyal, and have a creative point of view on everything. Your mind is filled with more knowledge than you lead on and you have a limitless imagination that takes you to the world of make believe. And, back. Sometimes. Although you are still thoughtful and introverted you are no longer quiet or shy. You always have something to say and are much more comfortable in your skin.
You are well liked and easy to get along with and as a result have many friends. With that being said, however, you are a boy who chooses your close friends wisely, and sticks with them with the same loyalty and passion as you do most things. Your best friend, now, is Oren Fuchs, a boy you met in Pre-School and will be with all through out Council Rock. It will be interesting to see what becomes of your friendship.

You began piano lessons this year which seems to have re-ignited your musical spirit and given you a good amount of self-confidence. You claim your piano lessons are just a step along the path to guitar lessons, which is true, but you do enjoy playing and will tickle the ivories without being asked. Of course, the minute I ask you to practice I get pushback. After just 6 weeks of lessons you performed in a recital, which was amazing. You did great, and were so very happy and proud of yourself.

Although you opted out of playing organized sports this year, you do enjoy playing sports at home, with daddy, your brothers, and me. You plan to play soccer and baseball in the upcoming year.

Your love of Superheroes was alive and well for your entire 4^th year. You continued to wear costumes and pretend to be the mighty beings. Just as 5 was approaching you took on a new love, The Power Rangers, and just as the heroes of the past you have taken on a new identity. You now ask to be called Jayden (the Red Power Ranger, and the leader!)

Over the last year you have grown (42 ½ inches) and gotten stronger and heavier (40 pounds) and now outweigh Chase by three pounds. You still have a tendency to wet your bed and have finally agreed to sleep in pull-ups.

You are creative and artsy and remain to be very good with your hands and continue to use them for all sorts of activities. One day, not too long ago, you came downstairs and had tied your shoes.

We had never practiced together nor did I know you were trying (although shoe tying had been talked about) and that was it your shoes were tied. You can also take apart almost any toy and can manipulate a technological device better than most of us. You have a profound interest in letters and sounds and have selective reading and writing. This is evidenced by my constant Facebook status updates. You will take my phone and update my status to say: “Superman” “Spiderman” “Power Rangers Samurai” “Power Rangers Mighty Morphin” and the latest one “Michael Jackson thriller” All of these words are committed to your memory and can be read, written, or typed on command. All of my Facebook friends are aware of your ability and consistently comment with a “hello Ryder.” I am not yet sure if this selective reading skill is anything beyond a good memory and a strong passion but as you are about to enter Kindergarten I suppose we will find out. You have, however, sounded out a few words accurately, leading me to believe you are capable of reading more than you let on. Which is typical Ryder fashion.

Speaking of Ryder fashion. You have your own unique style and strong opinion about what you wear and how you wear it. You spent most of the school year wearing your favorite jeans, your high top converse sneakers, a button down shirt, untucked, and a tie. You love his look and were so devoted to it that your tie became an item to take away if and when you misbehaved. You looked adorable in this outfit and it was something people talked about. Your personality and your natural way made this a perfect fit for you.

At camp this summer, you have blossomed once again, enjoying the thrills of Day Camp beyond what I even expected.

Chase, at 5, you seem a bit closer to 40 with your maturity and your verbal skills. You are a happy, confident boy, who likes to tell stories and share your knowledge with the world. You are well liked and like everybody and make it a point to make new friends everywhere you go. Your presence is warm and happy and inviting and it is no wonder people welcome your company. You are often called the Mayor and have an innate ability to work a room. You are caring and sensitive and want to make sure everybody is accommodated and happy.

You have become a jock this year. You love sports of all kind, particularly soccer, and want to play and to learn and get better all of the time. You are competitive and driven in everything you do and won’t settle for being less than the best. You will practice anything you are not good at until you are better and will seek out answers to anything you don’t know until you know it. This is a trait that I envy and hope stays with you forever.

You started Soccer this year and played both in an indoor winter league and an outdoor spring league. You are really good at Soccer. You have a lot of natural athletic talent, an ability to stay on the ball, and quick feet. Although you love to kick and to run and to score you have a fondness for defense and for goalie. I think you enjoy stopping others from scoring more than you enjoy scoring.

You also love baseball and have a fantastic and quick swing that will allow for good hitting. We have been working on switch-hitting, which you are getting more and more comfortable with, and it excites you to know you are capable from both sides. Although last fall you played in an indoor baseball clinic it is not until this upcoming spring that you will play Township baseball.

You enjoy music and telling jokes and laughing out loud. You still love television and the movies and have also fallen for Power Rangers like your brother. You have amazing focus and retention and what I believe is a photographic memory.

You have grown to 42 ½ inches and are skinny at only 37 pounds. But, you are a good eater in that you will try just about anything we offer you. You love onions, and spicy foods, and tomatoes.

You enjoyed school the same way you enjoy everything and are starting to have a real interest in reading and math skills. It is important to you that you get good reports, that you are well liked, and that you are amongst the best and because of this you are showing signs of being a very good student. You are charming and kind and silly and bright!

You both love camp. You love everything about it and come home everyday both happy and tired. You have learned to swim, love that you play sports all day, love being with other boys, and have a bit of a crush on your Junior Counselor.

You both love the beach and are always happy when we spend our weekends there.

You both love your brother and will always happily help him and include him in most that you do. You both love each other. Most. Although you are two different boys who are starting down individual paths and are able to separate without difficulty, each reunion, whether it is minutes or hours since you parted, is greeted with hugs and smiles. You complement each other in such amazing ways and though you are each wonderful and interesting and independent alone you are also an amazing package when you are together.

I am not always sure how I have been lucky enough to raise you. I marvel at you both (all three of you, really) with wonder. To the world it may seem like daddy and I have done a few things right with you guys, and perhaps we have, but really you make us look good with the wonders that you are.

Every single day, every moment, through the stressful roller coaster of the last year I am grateful for what I have in you, my wonderful sons, and am humbled to think of all that you are and all that you will still become. Though you are two good-looking boys with soulful eyes and bright smiles, your beauty lies within you. You are unique and personable and smart and sweet and funny and I could not be more proud of you.

I love you so.

Mommy

Quincy Beach

2011-07-30T16:52:00.001-04:00

Rob has a boat. A Hobie Cat, and has taken to sailing instead of sun bathing while on the beach. He is always looking for people to ride the waves with him. Two weeks ago Todd went out on the boat while the boys and I stayed back and enjoyed the beach. Aunt Jean and Uncle Lewis joined us for some time and it was great to spend time with them and have them see the boys in their "element!"

Chase has to be active all of the time and must have asked 100 times if I would play soccer with him. Which I did. But, with Turner needing me to build castles for him to stomp and Ryder wanting to swim in the water well, I can only do so much at once. So, Aunt Jean became Chase's latest victim. She tied on her shoes and played Soccer with the young superstar.

Although the day was great and we all had fun, the day gets marked by the quote from Chase:

"Do you want to kick more or should I teach you strategy?"

Look out Japan, USA Women's team will have a new striker soon in a talented Jean Rothstein if Chase has anything to do with it.

Two Wheelin'

2011-07-30T16:33:00.000-04:00

Chase and Ryder can both ride a bike. A bike that does not have training wheels and has actual pedals. A true 2 wheeler. This was a milestone accomplished 2 weeks ago for Chase...

....and today for Ryder

When they boys first got their training-wheeled bikes they loved them. They rode quickly and mightily whenever they could and were always thrilled to be able to ride full speed down the two hills at the top of our circle. They rode flawlessly and fearlessly right from the beginning.

Over the winter when, due to freezing temperatures and what seemed to be non-stop snow, the boys asked if we could take off their training wheels. This seemed like a lofty goal since they hadn't rode a bike in months. But, we agreed to try when spring came to be.

For reasons I am unsure of we did not ride bikes too often this Spring. Nor did we much earlier this Summer. But, if you tell the boys something they won't forget so first opportunity on a bike Chase was all over taking off the training wheels. I was in favor mostly because the wheels needed tightening and I was not able to do that myself. Every time they rode I feared the wheels would go flying off and they would either learn to two-wheel on the fly, or land harshly on their face. Luckily, neither happened.

Two weeks ago we schlepped the bikes to the shore and decided, confidently, "today will be the day!" Neither Todd nor I were worried about it, we were pretty sure they would get right up and RIDE. Chase being a naturally confident boy also had no doubts. He got on the bike, asked for help getting started, and rode off into the sunset. Literally. It was dusk in Margate and he was heading for the Bay.
Ryder, who is normally fearless and dangerous, chose to practice more on Turner's balance bike and said "I am not ready yet, I just don't feel the balance!" I have a tendency to think he chose that road knowing his overly confident brother had just mastered the new skill in only a few seconds and would now spend the next few weeks gloating. Ryder, thoughtful as he is, likes to give Chase his moment. So, he waited. And, he practiced on the balance bike while Chase practiced stopping without falling and turning. He can ride real well but since the bike is still a little big for him stopping is a bit of an issue.

This morning Ryder decided he was ready. He padded up, took a practice spin on the balance bike then said "get me the yellow bike!" Chase was extremely encouraging, as he had been all along, and said "Ryder, you can do it. I know you can!" Ryder smiled, hopped on the bike, asked for a push and he too was off.

And, now, at just 5, we have boys who don't even realize that they unlocked a little door to freedom. They don't know yet that the bike can take them places. I am in no rush to let them in on that secret. Right now it is just fun to feel the wind in their face.

I love to bike. I did when I was a kid, I do now. I am excited for family bike rides.

Bend it Like Beckham!

2011-07-17T09:09:00.001-04:00

There's a new professional sports team that filters through our TV these days. The Phillies are always on and still the reigning faves but, apparently, the Philadelphia Union is the new team to watch. Because Chase has a soccer obsession.

It started off like anything. A four year old boy playing the sport for the first time. Ryder had opted out of the indoor season (and the Spring outdoor season as well) and, instead, chose to start a journey down a musical path. So, Chase played his first games of soccer alongside some of his Pre-school buddies. He happened to have a fantastic coach who taught great fundamentals and he happened to have some natural talent.

And, suddenly, a soccer star was born.

Staying with the ball

Loved being goalie

The Muppets

Abbey, Chase, and Oren

By the time CRUSA's outdoor Spring season began we had a full on soccer junkie. He wanted to play all of the time! ALL OF THE TIME!! He looked forward to practices so that he could learn new drills and he would come home and tell us about them, show us how to do them. He'd correct us when we would do it wrong. He would opt out of birthday parties that interfered with soccer for a reason that had me nearly dropping to the floor:
"if I miss practice I won't learn the new drills and I will be behind everyone else."

All of my years growing up an athlete the thing I lacked the most was the heart. Although I enjoyed the game and I wanted to win, my heart was never fully dedicated to the sport alone. This is not necessarily a choice I made, it may just be what you are born with. Chase was born with the heart to succeed. He is determined and driven to be the very best. He is very athletic and coordinated and pretty quick on his feet. It seems my boy has the making of a champion.

I have always pictured my life as a sports mom. Mostly because it was the life I knew. I assumed there would be Soccer games and Baseball games and Basketball games. And, travelling. And, dirty uniforms and smelly bags. I pictured this even before I had sons. And, now, it seems it has come to be. Spring Weekends consisted of being at the soccer field at 9am. As a slow moving, late to rise family it might as well be 6am. Lucky for us the field is, quite literally, in our backyard.

Chase took his ball and a run and headed straight out to his team while we follow behind with two more kids, two chairs, a bag of snacks, and my cup of coffee. And, we would sit, and watch, as 5 year old boys played the game they loved.

So proud of the goal he just scored

The season was successful. They did not keep score (though Chase will ramble off victories like "13-1" and "10-2") and there were no goalies but you could see, week after week, each boy improving. Chase improving.

I am not a soccer star, I never was, but we are being told by a number of people who seem to know that Chase is very good at soccer. That we should keep him involved. Somehow, I don't expect that to be a problem.

A medalist

5 more weeks of Summer than it will all start again.

My Three Cuties

2011-07-10T20:34:00.000-04:00

Turner - 2 1/2 years old!

2011-07-10T20:28:00.004-04:00

I want to dedicate this post to Turner. My third born son who, by fault of birth order, is constantly compared to his brothers. Who, by chance, are twins. It's a constant "oh, he looks like Chase." "Oh, he can use his hands like Ryder." "Wow, he is flirtatious like Chase". "I see he is imaginative like Ryder!". "He looks exactly like Chase. But, with Ryder's coloring." This goes on all day.

Even I am guilty. Perhaps, the most guilty.

Yes, all of the above are true and yes, I have said that Turner grays the line between his brothers' black and white. But, Turner is Turner all on his own. He need not be compared to anyone to be recognized as the wonder that he is.

He is, as I call him, my angel for so many reasons.

Turner is gorgeous. (Biased? Probably!) He has thick curls and deep grey eyes that are filled with soul and with joy. He has a one dimpled smile that lights up a room, a universe even, and has anyone who knows him begging to receive one (which is almost always granted!) His presence in a room is felt like a warmth of a sun ray.
Turner has a personality that is silly, and fun and yet, amazingly sweet and kind and sensitive. He can throw his head back and laugh out loud to the craziest of things but will rub your back and whisper "don't cry" at the first sign of sadness. He can talk non-stop FOR HOURS and also be charmingly shy around the ladies offering only a batting of the lashes and glance at the dimple. This coy nature is not deemed stand-offish, but rather engaging and winsome, tempting the recipient to pick him up and hug him. And, he would hug you right back.

Turner seems to know everything there is to know and is keenly aware of what goes on around him. He doesn't miss a beat, not ever, keeping his less than sharp mother constantly on her toes. He hears every sound and recognizes visual changes and will ask me, "what's that noise?" "what happened to that picture?" "why is that a different color?" In fact, he feels the need to tell you everything he knows and notices. Everything. This is why he talks all day long. If a thought is in his head, it is just as quickly shared with anyone that will listen.
He says most things matter-of-factly, pointing out the seemingly obvious until you remember he is two and, suddenly, these facts become enormous pieces of information stored in a little brain that are constantly being regurgitated.

Turner can be counted on to eat a full meal, laugh at my jokes, rub my back if needed, and to curl up on my shoulder when he is tired. He will tell us he loves us and ask to hold our hands yet has the guts and the strength to bop his brothers in the chest when they think it is fun to try and strong arm him.

Turner is a good boy, a rule follower. Not so much so where he treads with caution and is scared to push his limits, but just enough so that if you tell him NOT to run through a parking lot, or touch a hot stove, or get out of bed, he won't. He isn't afraid to disobey, it is more like he knows these certain things will ruin a good time. And, Turner is all about a good time.

He will initiate a dance party, or spin in circles until he is dizzy, then get up and do it again. He will repeat a joke or an act that got a laugh, endlessly, as long as his audience continues to laugh. He loves to sing and does so often and I am inclined to think he may have a musical gene within him.

He shows an enormous amount of maturity for a boy who is 2 1/2 and if it weren't for his diapers I would think I had lost my baby forever. But, then, he will tantrum. He will kick his feet and bring on the tears over not getting a smoothie, or an episode of Mickey, and secretly, I welcome it because it is so rare that he let on that he is, still, just a baby. He still loves his Baybay and other than an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (or the occasional Barney) he has no interest in sitting in front of a television. He loves books.

Turner is now the age Chase and Ryder were when he was born and this fact sends my mind into a bit of fit as I realize that babyhood is on its way out.

So, yes it is true that Turner is the baby brother. Yes, it is true he is the singleton to brothers who are twins. Yes, it will always be that way. But, I have no worries, I have no doubts that Turner will always be able to forge his own way, his own being. He will have similarities to each of his brothers. And, differences too. But, no matter what Turner will be Turner and after a while he won't be compared to anyone, Because he defines himself.

Turner, my angel, I love you so. Happy 2 1/2!

Turner Luke!

2011-06-29T23:21:00.001-04:00

The other day it was just Turner and I, as it is many days. But, I was in the mood to play with my camera and play with him. Here is what we did. Most of them are just a boy and his "baybay!"

Crazy Hat Day at Briarwood!

2011-06-29T23:07:00.000-04:00

Meanest Mom EVER!!

2011-06-29T22:56:00.001-04:00

That's what I was told by my two oldest sons after their very first day at Briarwood Day Camp! Why? Because, apparently, they love camp so much, more than anything else in this world, and to make them miss it to spend the day on the beach is cruel. Torture. Call Social Service’s because this is a rare form of abuse that I would even CONSIDER sending them to camp just 4 days so that we can have Friday's on the beach let alone DO IT. This was after the first day. Tuesday it was more of the same. But this time included some form of tantruming that reminded me of the terrible two's. Wednesday was no different. And, so on.

Very excited about their first day!

Ready for camp

Brothers and campers

I understand. Camp, to many people, is one of the greatest places on Earth for kids. Next to Disney World. My husband is one of those people. At camp you play all day, outdoors, getting dirty and being social. It is considered a luxury, evidenced by the lofty price tag.

But, yet, we all find a way to make those payments just so our kids can call us mean.

Growing up, Todd and I both went to Willow Grove Day Camp and we both could have argued, successfully, that WGDC was the very best day camp on the planet. To Todd, WGDC was the only place for our boys. But, for a number of reasons, including the fact that Willow Grove does not allow the flexibilty of four days a week, we chose Briarwood Day Camp.

Chase and Ryder absolutely love camp. They love everything about it. They love that they swim two times a day. They love that they play sports all day. They love that they are changing activities all of the time and that their bunk is all boys. They love that at camp they can be the verbs that they are. And, they are in love with their JC. Ah, camp! The home of first romances. They will likely both marry her at the carnival.

So, I have no regrets at all for choosing big boy camp at 5 years old. No regrets for having to pilfer money from sofa cushions and car seats to pay the tuition. There are no regrets once you see the smiles on their faces and listen to the stories they tell about camp. And, despite being the meanest mom ever, I certainly have no regrets of keeping them out on Friday’s so that we can beach together as a family.

Yes, I am just that mean!

Superman has Landed in Margate

2011-06-20T21:56:00.002-04:00

Father's Day 2011

2011-06-19T23:08:00.005-04:00

Slugger in Training

Happy Father's Day to a happy daddy!

Cousins Jump

Father's Day was a fantastic day in the sun. Baseball, Swimming, BBQ, we all enjoyed ourselves. I got some great photos, but as usual, missed some of the most important shots (and people) including a picture of the dads with their respective kids. Especially my kids, and their dad. But, still, a great day!

Every Rock Star has a First Recital!

2011-06-12T16:39:00.001-04:00

Maybe he was born to perform? Maybe, in the spotlight is where he belongs? Maybe, he just loves music? Maybe, he was just doing what was expected of him?

Ryder had his first piano recital Friday night. Coincidentally, this was the same day as his Pre-K graduation, making the entire day of June 10th a big milestone for him. A big milestone marked by a 103 fever.

He had only been taking lessons for about 6 weeks but as his fingers became stronger and more nimble you could hear him playing his short songs a little more smoothly.

He was more excited about his recital than his graduation! He told me several times. On the day of he was dosed up on enough meds to keep the mercury from rising near febrile seizures and yet, he was still dressed (new red tie, new striped shirt, vest, new tie bar, and

sneakers), ready, and even peed on his own with plenty of time to spare. This is not how he usually operates! He posed for pictures and smiled and seemed to have a lighter step to his walk.

I admit it. I was a little nervous. Not about how well he would perform but that he would at all. He has a tendency to get shy at unexpected times.

As it turns out I had nothing to worry about. When we arrived at Miss Mindy's house he went over to the performers corner accompanied only by Turner who insisted on sitting with the musicians.

He smiled and actually sat still as he waited his turn. He was fourth out of 14. He sat and listened (or, at least, seemed to) while the 3 musicians before him performed their renditions of songs including the classic “Hey Jude.”

When Miss Mindy said, “And, the next performer will be Ryder.” He got up from his chair, walked NOT RAN, over to the piano, looked out at the audience of about 50, found us, grinned, and began playing his songs. When he was done (less than a minute later) he got up, and as a surprise to all of us, he looked at the audience one again and bowed. HE BOWED!! We had discussed sitting still, smiling, and listening. We hadn’t discussed bowing.

I am not sure what made him to do that. I asked but got no answer. I know he studied Neil Young’s Live Rust DVD for about a year but I am not sure if the rocker ever took a bow. Maybe he did?

After, there were snacks and refreshments that he enjoyed but not as much as enjoyed talking to the older boys who were much more experienced at tickling the ivories. A sweet boy named Jacob showed him a few things and told him all he had to look forward to in the upcoming years if he continued.

As a recital gift I bought him the sheet music for some of his favorite tunes: Spiderman Theme, Superman Theme, Big Time Rush, Powder Finger, and Squeeze Box. He is not ready for any of them but I too wanted to show him what he had to look forward to if he kept up the good work. He was super excited and is hoping Miss Mindy can show him how to play those tunes.

I should have recorded it, but didn’t. Though I did have the video camera with me. I hope this was just the first of many recitals. I am not sure if I hope it leads him to a sold out stage with swarming girls but I do hope it takes him where he wants to go with it.

Graduation?!

2011-06-11T23:29:00.001-04:00

Yesterday was a monumental day. One which should have required an overdose of Prozac but didn't because I am sticking to my plan oftotal DENIAL.

Chase and Ryder graduated from Pre-school. I understand a good part of the world does not even attend Pre-school so to insist this milestone is remarkable is just silly.

But, still, for me it was a bittersweet moment. Somehow my pre-mature babies have matured leaving no indications of being preemies, at all. Despite being "young" for their class, and in spite of the red-shirting trend, Chase and Ryder are kindergarten ready.

I have mixed feelings about this. Typical Jewish mother, I suppose. As I marvel in the boys that they have become and anticipate the men that they will be I get weepy over their infant pictures and wonder how it all happened. So fast? This is something I will battle with my whole life. First pre-school aisles then wedding aisles.

It was a hot and humid day for June. Hot for August, even. The only thing hotter than the air was Ryder who had 103 fever when he woke up that morning. Both boys had been so excited for the day, had counted down every day since June 1st. They knew what graduation meant, including the thrilling fact of 12 weeks of no school. They had practiced their songs, rehearsed their walk, picked out their outfits (including a new shirt and red tie for Ryder!). They were ready. There was no way he was missing this big day. Even the teachers told me to dose him up and bring him in.

So we did.

And, he was a trooper.

The boys walked the aisle, hand in hand, mortar boards atop their heads. They sang their songs, smiled occasionally, and joined their friends in the shouting of everyone's names during the slideshow. Then, one by one, each child was called up to receive their diploma and the obligatory hug from the teachers they so adored (and who adored them right back!)

After, we headed over to "the other side" of the sanctuary for an Oneg. No Jewish event is complete without one no matter how light the spread.

We went home for more food and enjoyed lunch with the family, gifts, and some rest before the busy night of final soccer practices and first recitals.

Entertaining the graduates

It was a fantastic day and I have yet to shed a tear. Maybe it's knowing I am free of the double tuition that's bringing me joy on such occasions.

First day of pre-school, ever! My how they grew!!

Art Show

2011-06-05T07:34:00.000-04:00

Ryder was home from school for a full week with strep throat. That was an exciting time of walls caving in around me as I was locked in my house. But, mostly, it wasn't bad. Ryder, after his initial bout with 105 degree fever started feeling much better on day two and was able to have some quality alone time with both me and Turner. Here, they were painting, at the same time, on either side of the easel. They were both happy and content and did not feel the need to fling paint at each other or steal the others masterpiece. Moments like this must be captured for prosperity.

Backseat (underage) Drivers!

2011-06-01T21:49:00.002-04:00

Boys have a thing for cars. I get it. Sort of.

I don't actually understand the thing, just that there is one. The Tovsky guys all have it...even down to the youngest generation.

When I was 16 I loved to drive. Twenty years later I drive only because I have to. I could do without it. A chauffeur would be fantastic, in fact! Please inquire within if interested.

Since, none of you have volunteered I continue to drive everywhere I go. Unless Todd is with me. Then I get to ride as a car sick passenger.

I hate driving with Todd in the car. He is a backseat driver. Maybe its because my driving is not up to his standards. Maybe it is just him. I am not sure. Either way he's a backseat driver with me. Especially when he is drunk. Which is usually the reason I am driving.

Most often I am just driving the boys. But, as of late, they are all backseat drivers as well. All of them!!! If that's not enough to make you want to give up motor vehicles forever then I am not sure what is.
The fact that the boys don't know how to drive a car does not play a factor in this. Under-aged, under-sized, they each play their role in telling me how to drive. And where. And how fast.

Chase will tell me the speed limit on every road after every sign we pass. "35 mommy, don't drive any faster!" Sure wish there was a "quiet please" sign for him to read!!! He will also tell me, on a multi-lane road, which lane he wants me in, regardless of any circumstances that may determine the lane for me!

Ryder is constantly telling me to the catch up to the car in the other lane and a few feet ahead of me and considers it a race won if I pass them. "Pass that blue car, mommy!". And, once I do, if I do, he cheers only to say "pass that yellow car mommy!"

Turner just wants me to go, go, go! Should I stop at a red light or, even worse, behind a stopped car, a relentless "GOGOGOGOGOGO" will ensue until I start driving again.

Turning left out of my development, especially at rush hour, has proven difficult. I could sit there for several minutes before an opening appears. Each tock on the clock passes like nails on the chalkboard as I have the peanut gallery telling me to "go," "turn," "hurry, they're winning," all at once. It' almost like singing row, row, row your boat in a nightmarish and repeated round as they each shout their line. It"s nearly enough to pull out amidst traffic and hope for the best just to get them to shut up!!

So, driving has lost its luster, its thrill. The free feeling that was present in my late teens blew away in the wind (or wore out with age?).

Really, is anyone interested in chauffeuring me and my backseat drivers everywhere we go? You can help yourself, free of charge, to the endless supply of goldfish crushed into the car rug and buried in their car seats.

Castles in the Sand!

2011-05-30T23:49:00.007-04:00

Every castle wants to house a Princess. Particularly, they dream of being home to a lonely princess protected by a fire-breathing dragon. Only to have her rescued by the Prince of all Charming. What castle wouldn't dream of that?

I have built a thousand castles today. None with such a fairy tale future. I've Dumped bucket full of packed sand after bucket full of packed sand. Building an entire fortress? Not a chance. It seems it is every two year olds rite of passage to stomp on said castle even before the bucket has fully cleared. And so, I've packed the sand, banged on the bucket, flattened the land, flipped the bucket, tapped tapped tapped, and lifted only for the castle's inevitable fate of Turner's stomp!

Either this, or he crushes the ~~bucket mounds~~ castles of his brothers, much to their dismay. Turner did seem to get a kick out of that, but the referee in me had enough of the screaming!

No princesses here, definitely no dragons (though this story does have a trifecta of charming prince's) just a castle in the sand destined to be crushed!!!

No Costume is Complete without the Shoes!

2011-05-30T23:47:00.004-04:00

Ryder is imaginative. I have mentioned that. Since he has been two and a half years old he has spent the majority of his free time in costume. First, it was costumes of Halloween's Past but it quickly evolved into a much more serious and committed quest for becoming a character. It began with Benny from the movie Sandlot which had him insisting he needed a pair of black Chuck Taylors to complete the outfit. Then he moved on to the Peter Parker/Spiderman combination. When we bought him both the red and the black Spidey costumes I hadn't realized that even though I bought the gloves, as a separarte purchase, I was still giving him an incomplete gift. "Where are the boots Mommy? Spiderman has boots?" As a result I was out buying red socks every time I saw an apple-y pair. He said, "they will do!"
In the recent past he has moved on to Spiderman/Clark Kent giving him an extra excuse (not that he needs one) to wear his shirt, tie, and vest regularly!

We got him a Superman costume (which he wore last Halloween) and it once again came boot free!

Why o Why can't they sell all parts of the costume together?

Anyway, the same red socks he wore for Spidey worked for the Man of Steel, "I guess they will do" but he never stopped wanting the Superman boots.
Until one day he got them!
I got the boys Keen sandals for camp. Ryder got red for the third year in a row. Chase wanted green for the same number of years. When they didn't have green he almost got a turquoise color that would have people certainly questioning his future manliness. I was able to talk him out of this "gender neutral" color with the promise of ordering him the green he wanted when we got home.

So I did. From Zappo's.

I was quite impressed when the shoes showed up the very next day! Inside each of the shoes was a cardboard foot. I didn't think twice about these perfectly-sized pieces of cardboard and was about to throw them out when Ryder's eyes popped out of his head and rolled across the floor. "My boots!" He shouted and scooped the shoe insides right from my hands and ran off to be sneaky as he does.
I followed him, intrigued by his excitement.

"Whacha doing, Ry?"
Excitedly, so much so, his words were running into one, he responded, "thesecanbemybootsmommy! Ijusthavetocutthisoffhere," pointing to the back, "thenpaintthemred!".
I understood what he was saying despite his forgetting to breathe.
He grabbed the scissors and cut out around the ankle. Then ran to get his paints. He painted them red.
I watched in amazement as he created his boots from his own mind.
When they were done drying he placed them over his foot, happily. Until he noticed they wouldn't stay in place.
A lightbulb went off in his little head.
"Mommy, we need tape. If we put tape across the bottom and across the back they will stay in place. Where's the tape?"
Continuing to be amazed by his thought process I offered my first piece of consultation on his project.
"What if, instead of tape, we use elastic so that you can re-use them again and again?"
He looked at me. "What's elastic?"
I told him, showed him, in fact, by the band on his shorts.
"YES! " He shouted with a Tiger Woods type fist pump. "Do we have any?". We didn't but Mom-Mom Joan, thrilled by his creativity, was able to provide us with some within 24 hours.
And so, Ryder now has Superman boots of his very own. Created for him, by him. Because they are cardboard, they won't last nearly as long as the passionate boys love for the world's greatest superhero but maybe he is on to something.

Painting the shoes

Letting them dry

Side view

He cut out the back

Since all of the Power Rangers costumes he wants are out of stock maybe he will create his own?
And, if you need a pair of Red or Green Keen hand me downs sized in US9, 10, or 11, we got them!!!

Let me Tell you Sumpin.....I Love you!

2011-05-28T00:39:00.000-04:00

Turner was over 16 months old when he started talking. Even then it was an inconsistent scattering of words that left us guessing what he was saying. Despite thinking he would be an early talker after his miraculous first word at 9 months, by 14 months we knew we were quite mistaken. According to my yard stick, which the measurements were previously set by his brothers, Turner was a late talker. Surprisingly, he was not too far behind his peers. By the time he was 2, it was hard to realize he had just started talking as he spoke, A LOT, always looking you right in the eye. Now, not even two and a half, he speaks perfectly clear. Well, almost He talks often and loudly and it is easy to forget that he communicated with grunts and points for longer than tolerable.
But, despite his mature vocabulary, he has a few mispronunciations that in addition to reminding me he still wears diaper, are just so adorable.

For one, he pronounces the "J" sound as "G".
We frequent the Gim! Mom-Mom's are Gill and Goan. His best buddy is Gagher. Oren's daddy is Geff. And, my personal favorite, Delaney and Madden's daddy is Uncle Gay. I don't correct him. Is that wrong?

I love these mis-sayings.

He says Sumpin, not something
He calls a yogurt smoothie, one of his favorite things to drink, something I am unable to even write down.

And, no matter how much I told him, no matter how many times a day he heard the words I love you, he would never repeat them. Not ever. I got upset about it, all too often. Again using the unfair measuring stick of Chase and Ryder, who said I love you at 21 months, I was a little bothered. I wasn't concerned that he couldn't say it, I just wanted to hear it. Are there really any better words to hear from your kid?

Turner does things at his own pace. He doesn't like feeling pressured to do anything so I backed off for a bit. Then one day, he said it. I am not exactly sure of when. I am not quite sure it matters because now when I say "Turner, I love you!" He follows up with an "I love you, too!"

Turner, I love you!!

I'm thinking...Mojitos...with Muddled Fresh Mint all Summer!

2011-05-26T22:22:00.000-04:00

I've said, on occasion, that I wish I lived on a farm, ate from my crops and lived a simple life. Entertainment would be hikes, and swims, and time in a boat. It is comments like these that make my mom say "who the hell raised you?"

Although I do mean it when I say, it I know it will likely not happen. I would be lying if I said I didn't love city life, too.

But, for a long time now I have been wanting to start a vegetable garden. A mere compromise of my extreme lifestyle desires. Since I have a bit of a black thumb and very little free time, the idea of a garden seemed most ideal in my head. In my head my veggies were fresh, my salads were tasty, and my herbs were fragrant.

Then I met a friend who's Nebraska farm upbringing makes her a bit of a know-how when it comes to gardening. She offered her assistance and her knowledge. I offered my credit card and my husbands brawn. And, 6 hours later we have a 6' x 6' vegetable garden in our backyard.

Todd was happy I bought arugula plants for him (I don't love it) since we did make him dig up our fresh and beautiful grass with nothing but a pointed shovel. I also bought three different types of tomatoes, 4 different types of peppers, romaine, broccoli, strawberries, zucchini, snap peas, green beans, and a bunch of herbs, amongst them, mint.

I bought this mint for no other reason but one sniff of the fragrance and in my mind's eye I was drinking mojitos with muddled fresh mint (ALL SUMMER LONG) and I was ready to leave the nursery for the state store to purchase a case of Bacardi. I didn't. Instead I stayed focused on the task at hand.

The garden is planted. It rained, consistently, for ten straight days afterwards so I am just now needing to start the daily hose down. Let's see if my black thumb can at least change purple on its way to being green.

As of this posting the herbs are doing fantastic, and are ready for mojito making. Or, mint juleps. The arugula is in critical condition and I am hoping it didn't take offense by my earlier, I DON'T LOVE IT comment, and one of the romaines may have died before it even got started. But...so far, so good. Harvest is in several weeks, and we will be serving up some fine veggies. And, mojito's, of course!

I Deserve a Cash Bonus!

2011-05-18T15:44:00.001-04:00

There are very many accomplished people in this world. Doctors, Lawyers, CEO's, Published writers, inventors...I could go on. I have friends, I have family, all who are very accomplished. I find it admirable, respectable, enviable even. Sometimes I wish my resumé was, well, I wish I even had a resumé.

I have set my bar much lower. Especially these days. I was never much of pole vaulter, nor much of a flexible limbo-er, so I have set my bar at a level that I can crawl under, or more like slither like a snake, and clear it without touching.

Monday I had a very accomplished day. I say this proudly knowing that WOHM's, executives, people with an actual job, may laugh at me. I hear their snicker.

Monday, with one kid home sick and a toddler on the loose. I did 7 loads of laundry and put 4 of them away in proper drawers and closets. Let me repeat that. I DID 7 LOADS OF LAUNDRY. Sorry, had my day ended there I would have felt accomplished. But, believe it or not, it did not end there. Instead, I made 2 very important phone calls, and dosed out medicine, accurately, every four hours.
What happens when Benadryl is more expired than my children are old? This is what I wondered on my PhD earning day as I Cleaned out our medicine cabinet (and made a huge trash bag,) got dinner prepared, ordered Chase's shoes, and even played with my sons.

Seriously, this was a monumental day. I did all of that and my house was still standing at the days end. I never even dropped anything or misplaced anything nor did I ask my kids to fend for themselves while playing in traffic.

I deserve some sort of reward. A cash bonus, perhaps!

A Politician, A Rock Star, and a Mother Weak for her Boys.

2011-05-13T17:47:00.006-04:00

Last week we had parent/teacher conferences at the boys school. For some reason, standing outside of the closed door waiting my turn almost felt as if I was heading into the Principal's office. There were no surprises about what I would come to hear, yet for some reason I felt a bit nervous. Turner's conference went as I posted here.

Chase and Ryder's conference was interesting. As they are finishing up their Pre-K year and getting ready to head out into the real world of Public School I sometimes, OK maybe a bit more often than that, get nervous. Since they day I gave birth to boys with Summer birthdays I have been asked the question of "Will I hold them back?" At first I was unsure to what all of these nosy and inquiring minds were referring. As I had mentioned, people seemed to ask me, a new mom to twins, some really absurd and personal questions. Hold them back as they started to crawl? Push them down when they started to walk? Had I known then that Ryder would climb walls and dart through parking lots maybe I would have held them back on such obvious milestones. But, it seemed, they wanted to know if I would hold them back in school. I was just hoping to get them off of formula first, perhaps get them out of diapers, before I started thinking about kindergarten cut-offs. But, really, the world thought I should I start thinking about these things.
So, with the peanut gallery constantly whispering in my ear, and the apparent new trend of red shirting kindergarten making headlines (and here, and here), the question began to sink in. And, there I was, ignoring the obvious signs of readiness, and instead debating the smaller things. They are really little. And, it would make a huge difference in sports. And, they were premature, you know? Besides, are they ready for such a big school, such a big world? They are little, Jewish boys, heading into the Non-Jewish world. Will their charm take them anywhere? This is all crap. I know that. I am only half crazy. The other half tells me that every five year old boy and girl sets out to the world of Kindergarten. They all survive. Even if they don't like it.

Of course, Chase and Ryder will do more than survive. They are ready for the big school. They are mature beyond their young age, and despite being nearly 9 months younger than some of their classmates, most of the time you can not tell. Academically, socially, emotionally, they are ready! I guess the big question is, am I?

So, I set into Miss Liz's classroom and this is what I was told:

She likes to call Chase the Mayor. She is convinced he has a future in Politics. Or Negotiating. Or both. He is a "person of the people" who will greet each and every one of them, make sure they are all happy, speak for them when (and even if not) necessary, and will make his rounds to everyone in the classroom. He does this at parties, too. Actually, he does this everywhere. He gets this trait from Todd.

He showed a good amount of improvement in almost all areas being assessed. Chase listens intently and has astounding recall, for both concepts and details. He loves the game hangman (and is pretty good,) does really well with rhyming, knows all of his letters, their sounds, and can name a word that starts with each letter, and can also count to 100.

There are some areas he continues to need development in, in addition to some gross motor skills, such as accepting constructive criticism, not always being the center of attention, and tattling. None of this came as a surprise.

That aside, Chase always has a smile, a laugh, and a hug to offer. He is well-liked and likes everybody, though he does seem to play more with the boys. He is eager, loves to share his knowledge, and above all else he is driven and determined like she has never seen in an almost five year old little boy. Miss Liz believes that Chase will be successful in life not because he is smart (which he is) or charming (which he is, as well) but because he needs to be the best, he needs to be number one, he doesn't like losing. Although I was aware he was competitive, I was a bit surprised to hear that it was to this degree. Admirable, perhaps, but it sounds a bit stressful. Clearly, he did not get the trait from me. He must get that from Todd, as well. Or my dad. Or Todd's dad. I never liked being number one. Not because I couldn't or because I didn't want to try that hard but because number one meant a whole lot of attention. I was not interested in attention. At all. The more I write this the more I realize that maybe Chase is not my son.

Ryder is a different boy, totally. One of the things I was most happy about Miss Liz as a teacher was that right from the very beginning she knew the differences in the boys and never expected them to be the same. She knows them, she understands them, and for that I am so grateful.

She describes Ryder as the handsome boy, leather clad on a motorcycle. Untouchable yet desirable. Mysterious yet so sweet. A budding rock star and poet. Though this description is accurate it makes me a bit uncomfortable. She described the guys I crushed all of growing up. Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth there.

Ryder is a free-spirit who is independent and not influenced to conform. He is creative, and imaginative, and thoughtful, and deep. He is well-liked and likes everyone but tends to form strong, deep, friendships and show a favoritism to those friends. He enjoys the company of boys, and particularly those that share his interests. He sounds a lot like me! He laughs, he smiles, he is kind, and though rambunctious, he is also sensitive and caring.

He did show improvement in most areas evaluated since the assessment in the Fall. He knew all of his letters, completed all of his rhymes, and also has pretty good recall, when he wants to. Surprisingly, he could not count to 100, which both Miss Liz and I believe he can (know he can) but figure he may have lost focus along the way. He has a tendency to do that. Did I mention he reminds me of, well, me?

He has very well developed fine motor skills, and is an agile and flexible boy. He has beautiful handwriting, and enjoys it, always wanting to write everything. He loves art, and seems to have a developing talent. He is passionate and faithful and loyal and yet, still, easy going enough to mix in with anyone. He loves to laugh and to smile and a karate chop to the head is often a sign of love.

He could use continued improvement in the areas of listening to what he is being told, focusing, and making choices that don't just benefit him, but the class as a whole. Unlike his driven brother, Ryder doesn't get bothered by being less than the best. He likes to do the best he can, for him, not for anyone else. He has talents and he uses them but not for the purposes of recognition. He is much less interested in that sort of attention. Yes, it turns out, Ryder is clearly my son.

Overall, it has been a great year for both kids. We believe they will both benefit, even if at first they struggle, by being separated at school, where they can hone in on their individuality without the pressure of the other one. I know that they will always have their special bond and being a twin will always be a huge part of who they are, but they could each use a chance to be one without the other, at least during the school day.

Miss Liz believes they are both ready for Kindergarten and despite their being a late birthday or smaller than the average boy, they will fit in exactly where they belong. So, to answer the question of all those nosy strangers, red may be Ryder's favorite color but this is one red-shirt he won't be wearing. "NO! WE WILL NOT BE HOLDING THEM BACK IN SCHOOL!"

There is about three weeks left in the school year, at the safe haven of a Jewish Pre-school where the teachers and students alike find them funny, and adorable, and smart. I will spend the summer preparing MYSELF for my little guys to ride on a great big bus, in a great big school, surrounded by great big kids. Lucky for me, or for them, I am sure they can handle themselves with those bigger kids because this mama is not sure she ca. Mistreat my boys and those silly bands you wear on your wrist will become a weapon which I will use against you. Oh, I will. I am weak for these boys.